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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28959921">Second Season Renewal</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pantakes/pseuds/Pantakes'>Pantakes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5, Persona Series</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Actors, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Minor Character Death, Please don't sue me Ivana Chubbuck, Self-Harm, Smut, Substance Abuse, Suicidal Ideation, not actual acting lessons please don't try this yourself</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:21:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>53,372</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28959921</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pantakes/pseuds/Pantakes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Goro Akechi has been earning praise after starring as a minor role in the television series "Revelations: Persona" about a supernatural murder mystery in a town called Inaba. With the series renewal, his acting career was supposed to be a steady foundation in the law student's life - but now the setting has been moved to Tokyo and Akechi is supposed to play the major antagonist.</p><p>Struggling with exploring the new sides of the character he's playing and unrooting his own issues in the process, he's desperate to make it work so he can build a reputation for himself that surpasses the need for the help of his father, Shido Masayoshi.</p><p>He can’t believe his own eyes when the director puts him into acting lessons with rookie actor Ren Amamiya, who has snatched the main lead of the second season, Joker.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist, Background Nijima Makoto/Okumura Haru - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Goro Big Bang NSFW 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Second Season Renewal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“And, we’re rolling”</p><p>Akechi picked up the coffee can from the nightstand next to the bed, and pretended to take a sip. He imagined how the fresh, cold coffee would run down his throat, made a discernible gulp and ran his fingers over the lid, as if caressing the metal. They would take a close up shot of this motion later.</p><p><em>This is ridiculous</em>, Akechi thought as the lights were changed to a bluish hue, cooling his bordeaux suit into a dark purple when he stood up.</p><p>He was on the set to shoot a campaign ad for the canned coffee brand Deseo. It was unfathomable to him that tens of thousands of yen were spent on making an ad to invite consumers to drink something that was both harmful to their bodies (Akechi made the mistake of checking the ingredient list and the amount of additives they added to make it taste like anything was remarkable) and to the environment (he was willing to engage in the delusion of ignoring the inherent problems of coffee, but in a can of all things?).</p><p>And even if they didn't make the choice to consume the product because of the ad they’d seen, Akechi still would stay on their mind, as well as the image he was supposed to convey – a young, stunning actor was drinking this while smiling back at the camera, tilting his head softly so a single strand of hair slowly fell over his ear, a touch too sensual for a friend that just bought you a drink.</p><p>They were selling the fantasy that you bought this drink, you could be with someone like him.</p><p>“Care for a hit?”</p><p>“Cut”, the director’s assistant interrupted, acting as an indirect signal for the crew to prepare to take the same shot again. This process would be repeated again and again until the director was satisfied with the shot and Akechi could call it a day. Fortunately for him, they were using a hand model for the close-up shot - this was not because Akechi’s hands didn't do well, but because it would be more expensive to keep him around longer.</p><p>As the crew ran around resetting the scene, he was approached immediately; hands moving through his hair, a moist breath against his neck, the stylist recreating the moment seconds before the end of the shot, the audio engineer calibrating his radio link.</p><p>When he moved his hands to adjust the cuffs of his shirt, he felt a little slap against his fingers, a click of the tongue. He accepted it with a short, canned laugh, a sound that was received as the demure sorry he was expected to give.</p><p>No one seemed to hear how hollow it was.</p><p>He closed his eyes for the make-up artist to refresh the powder on his face, but the lights were so bright, he kept drowning in the red pouring through his eyelids.</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Hero ni naritai kimi hero ni naretara<br/>
</em>
  <em>Sekai wa kitto sukueru no darou …</em>
</p><p>The Featherman opening was looping in the back of Akechi’s head as he passed the Shibuya scramble. He had to suppress the urge to hum along. <em>If you, who longs to be a hero, will become one, surely the world can be saved …</em></p><p>After the CM shoot he was on his way to the production meeting for the second season of <em>Persona: Revelations</em>. The last season was a hit and generated a huge following during its three month run. The fandom was also growing with every twist and turn in the series, meaning that heated discussions were a frequent occurrence after each weekly airing.</p><p>A group of high schoolers who had just come out of the family mart next to the 109 recognized him. He smiled and waved back at them, then put his finger to his lips with a quiet “shh”. They quickly bowed in response before continuing to giggle among themselves.</p><p>Teenagers had been the major target audience for the series, though the themes had been enjoyed by older generations as well, which made the series such a major hit. Akechi just had a minor role starring as a high school detective's assistant, but there had been speculation online about whether or not his character also had the supernatural power known as Persona. At the time of shooting, Akechi himself didn't know. The team said they had plans for him, but they would tell him later.</p><p>The fact that he was called for the second season’s production meeting this early probably meant that they wanted to upgrade his role and have him be part of the main cast. His manager from the Shido Co. Agency told him that they already blocked a lot of time into his calendar for promotional shooting.</p><p>He arrived at the huge office building, all clean lines and shiny surfaces. The mirrored elevator was the perfect spot to check his clothing for any inconveniences.</p><p>He arrived exactly on time for the meeting and made his customary greetings, thanking everyone involved in the project for their work and exchanging business cards with the new producers who’d been put on the show. A few people left comments aside from the usual pleasantries. “Oh, you’re the dreamy boy from LoveLeek!”, one of the new composers said.</p><p>Akechi put on his brightest smile and clasped his hands together. “Let's make love leek!”</p><p>That was the tagline of his character on the series LoveLeek. His character was one of the love interests of the heroine in <em>Ai to negi to usotsuki to wa</em>, otherwise known as Love, leeks and other lies, also commonly shortened to<em> Ainegi</em> or <em>LoveLeek</em>. It had been his major breakthrough, though he hadn’t even been interested in acting before. An impossibility made real through sheer will.</p><p>“Akechi-san, glad that you made it!”, the director said. Yukari Takeba was an energetic woman in her thirties that Akechi had been excited to work with ever since he saw her acting in <em>Phoenix Ranger Featherman Victory</em>. Before Persona, she’d done a critically acclaimed short movie on a single father with his daughter, an issue that had been getting more attention thanks to her work. “I was worried you'd have to pass on this season because of university. You’re pretty serious about it, right?”</p><p>“As long as I take the next year off for my exams, it should be alright”, Akechi replied. He was studying law at Todai and working as a research assistant for the guest lecturer, Sae Nijima. Another thing that would've seemed to be impossible to him 10 years ago.</p><p>The new executive producer took a second glance at his business card. “Shido Co. Agency. I see. How long have you been with them?”</p><p>“Since I started,” Akechi said, which seemed to please the exec. It was still very appreciated to stay in the same agency for as long as possible, since it was taken as proof that you are loyal and easy to work with.</p><p>The agency was the reason he got into acting in the first place. The Shido Co. agency had been heavily involved in the casting for LoveLeek and looking for new talent. When a classmate in middle school told him about the audition, his mind couldn’t let go of the name of the agency’s head, Shido Masayoshi.</p><p>Akechi poured everything he had into the audition. He got the lead role, got accepted into the agency. The agency that took a cut so huge he still had to find other ways to keep himself afloat. But getting into the vicinity of that man, being able to offer himself up to gain his trust, that was what he wanted. And he got it.</p><p>“Let's begin”, Takeba said and dimmed the lights to present some slides on the wall of the small conference room. Akechi didn't recognize any other actors, just the crew seated next to him.</p><p>“This season’s concept is actually quite similar to the last one. We’ll have a group of teenagers and, yes, they will fight shadows using their supernatural powers, their personas. As you might have guessed, we have a persona user already with us tonight.”</p><p>Some of the crew chuckled and Akechi put on a smile.</p><p>“Not only that, but we think Akechi-san is a good choice to play a wild card”, Takeba continued. Under the table, Akechi put his hands together. That settled it. Wild cards were Persona users who couldn't just use one Persona but had the ability to summon several of them, which had been the trademark of the hero of the first season.</p><p>“The writers have been working on his character a lot and made sure that it’s really tailored to Akechi-san. I’m sure we’ll be able to portray it well!”</p><p>Mitsuru Kirijo spoke up, directing all the attention to her. Not surprising, considering how she was the executive producer sent by the SEES Production Company, which was one of the major sponsors for the series. “It was the only possible conclusion that would still be satisfying after how Akechi-san played that character in the first season. We really have to thank you for providing this much potential for the character.”</p><p>“You flatter me”, Akechi-san said. It was nice to have the series going for him. Once the episodes aired, no one would be able to take it from him.</p><p>Kirijo continued. “There are still some challenges left we have to face, especially when it comes to casting. We are dealing with a high-school setting, but the themes are rather mature, which is why I would like to use actors in their early twenties. I know we will get some backlash for that, but after so many schedule mishaps in the first season because of child employment laws, we need to implement this additional safety measure. We won't have any kids in major roles this time.” She must’ve been referring to the scheduling struggles they had with Nanako’s actress last season.</p><p>Takeba motioned to her assistant to set up something at the computer. “The Phantom Thieves will be using their Persona powers to change the hearts of adults whose wrongdoings they have discovered. It's quite a turn from what we had with the investigations and shadows formula in the first season, but I feel our writers managed to incorporate the zeitgeist really well.” Yukari smiled as she spoke. “And … if you have further questions, the first few episodes can be picked up starting today. But next is something even more exciting!”</p><p>She took a sip of water and the assistant pulled up a slide in the presentation that had “Open Auditions” written front and center. The room was suddenly abuzz with conversation, though it quieted down when Kirijo started speaking again. “There will be open auditions for the members of the Phantom Thieves. I would like to ask you all to spread the word so we can find the perfect fit for these roles. We need to broaden our pool as much as possible.”</p><p>The next slide showed the first three Phantom Thieves that were supposed to appear in the series. The first one was the hero, the wild card, the one Akechi was supposed to …</p><p>“And … as you might've guessed by now, we have not one, but two wild cards this time!” Takeba announced. “The protagonist just moved to Tokyo from a small town in which he was wrongfully accused of a crime, then discovers his wild card powers after confronting an abusive teacher.”</p><p>“So Robin Blackheart was accused of a crime in Inaba and moved to Tokyo?” The composer asked, and Akechi managed to let go of the tension he held in his fingers. Did he miss something? He didn't get this two wild card game they were referring to yet, and he hated to be the one asking such a question in case he had really missed something.</p><p>Takeba smiled and lowered her voice. “No, the protagonist is actually the <em>second</em> wild card, and the one we still have to cast.” The air in the room shifted with short, delightful comments by the crew, and Akechi felt his fingers tighten again. “I wasn't that satisfied with the villain last series, I think we can do better this time. So we’re having Akechi-san playing a charismatic antagonist who has the same powers as our protagonist, but uses them to complicate the lives of our heroes.”</p><p>Akechi tried to keep the smile on his face steady. Around him, the room was drowning in excited whispers, a relentless sea rising.</p><p>“Yes, great move from Kirijo, right?” Takeba answered someone, but Akechi couldn't figure out who. He kept his gaze steady towards the blank space on the presentation. The blank space next to the main character. The hero. The other wild card.</p><p>Why was everyone so satisfied with him playing the villain?</p><p>Why were they patting themselves on their shoulders, congratulating themselves for this great idea?</p><p>Takeba finally turned her head to him. “Is something the matter, Akechi-san?”</p><p>“Not at all,” Akechi said. He knew she was waiting for an approving comment of his. If everyone expected him to be happy to play the villain, he had to act accordingly. “I’m just mesmerized about this brilliant idea. This is sure to engage the audience.”</p><p>Kirijo nodded, but her gaze was focused on the presentation instead of him. “Yes … I'm sure of it. We're really glad to have you in for this. We couldn't make this villain work without you.”</p><p>They needed him. It left a bitter taste in his mouth, but it had been wrong for him to hope for anything in the first place. He had to aim for what he could get, the few scabs of meat he needed to sustain himself. To get through to <em>him</em>. Akechi smiled and felt his teeth cutting along his tongue at the back of his mouth.</p><p>
  <em>Villain.</em>
</p><p>“It’s a perfect fit.”</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>After they moved through the rest of the roles that still had to be cast, the meeting was broken up and Akechi went to the counter of the production studio to pick up the script.</p><p>The secretary smiled at him as she told him to wait for her to search for his copy. There was the name of the series on top - “Philemon”, the codename for the Persona series, so people who accidentally had a glance at the script or passed by a shooting location wouldn't immediately be able to spill information. Akechi’s name had been written on every single page of the script. This ensured that if he or another actor lost it, it’d be easy to trace back to the person responsible.</p><p>The script was thick, but Akechi noticed it only included the first three episodes. Maybe later episodes were not finished yet or they still had legal problems to go through. He made a mental note to check if he could influence where later appearances of his character were going. He never worked with a team on a screenplay before, but since they said the role took heavy inspiration from him and what he could do, there should be a possibility to convince them to adjust the role in the later acts.</p><p>He carried the script to the reading room and skimmed through the first few pages, trying to find a place for Robin Blackheart in his soul.</p><p>The script opened with a glossary, complete with settings and character descriptions. Robin Blackheart. What a subtle name. He should've noticed what the team was planning when he shot the first season, where Robin was just a minor role next to the detective that actress Naoto Shirogane was portraying. Some people said it was incredibly camp to give a Japanese role an English name, but he liked how flashy it was. The name could belong to a Featherman hero just after his transformation. It even had a color in its name.</p><p>But of course, of <em>course</em> it was black. Black. Black. This was never the color of a hero. It was the color of darkness, the void, evil.</p><p>A ping threw him out of the TV scene he had just read through. He checked his phone and even though he was the only person sitting in the bleak reading room, he immediately set the brightness down. A message from Shido.</p><p>A message from him would either include a name, or a time and place... A name would’ve meant that he had to research the background of a person and find something for Shido to use. Usually they were political opponents that he wanted gone or a CEO or a lawmaker that caused trouble, but sometimes it was someone he didn't expect, like a retail worker or an architect. They somehow had been involved with Shido and caused problems, and Akechi was there to solve these problems.</p><p>He established an effective way to solve them, so as he continued to get names from Shido, it became as easy as brushing his teeth. Even though he thought he was skilled at manipulating people, it proved to be a difficult endeavor at first. After all, how do you force a person in a position of power who was used to daily attacks on their history and identity into admitting their faults? However, he prepared some methods and soon enough found the best way to add additional pressure – giving them drugs and giving himself up.</p><p>Over the years he perfected the process to include as many fail-safes as possible. Usually he would engage them in a conversation and subtly slip something into their drink, making sure to distance them from associates and family so he was the one to wake up with them, alone on damp sheets in a hotel room. Lately he could get away with just the act of staging that they slept with him, so he could use that information against them and destroy their public image. If they had a relationship with their families, which was rather rare with the individuals Shido engaged with, that would be the cherry on top.</p><p>So far everyone admitted to their crimes, though it didn't work out as he had planned every time. He rarely felt bad about it, and even then, it was only for an instant. Adults were rotten anyway, and now that he was slowly becoming an adult himself, he could see why.</p><p>They were just as hopeless as the kids they had broken.</p><p><em>Daiwa Roynet Hotel Ginza</em>, <em>8pm, Shiozaki</em>. The message included a place and a time in addition to the name. That meant there was a party or some other get-together in the Daiwa Roynet and Akechi was supposed to show up as a representative actor of Shido´s agency, or just as eye candy for the other celebrities to enjoy.</p><p>There was always a reason and a way to blend in. He closed his eyes and imagined locating his target, Shiozaki. Maybe he would wear the hideous green cravat that he used for TV appearances. He was a spokesperson for the Okumura group and Akechi was pretty sure Shido had decided to get his confession out to stage a big coup against the corporation. He would get into conversation with him, but he’d act as if he had other guests to talk to, then keep an eye on him from afar. When Shiozaki’s cheeks turn red from the sake - no, he was more likely to drink chuhai according to what Akechi had researched - he would ask him to step away with him, for important advice. Separate him from his colleagues. Slip the drugs into his drink - no problem with a sweet drink like Shiozaki’s favorites. Then, be the kind celebrity that took his time to ensure he would get to his hotel room safely.</p><p>Safely. That was the important part. After making that mistake he had even found ways to save the person in case he accidentally gave the person an overdose. It was as if he'd learned to tie shoelaces - they could reopen if he was walking around a lot, but it was no problem if he retied them immediately.</p><p>And just like for the shoelaces, the tools were there, his hands, the laces, the shoes.</p><p>The only thing he had to kill was time. There was still some time left until he had to get home and prepare his suitcase.</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>Ren rubbed the black ceramic cup so intensely it squeaked under his touch. It seemed like the stain, a thin white line like a spider's leg, was not a leftover from some milk foam, but a slight crack running through the surface.</p><p>He couldn't keep his mind off of the child that seemed a bit gloomy when he was putting in hours for his internship at the kindergarten today. As the other kids had been aiming for their favorite toys or games to play, she had just sat on a rug, staring so intently at the ceiling that Ren's eyes flitted around, wondering if she was staring at a bug crawling around or something. But it was just the usual white space that gave the room a bright, spacious feeling.</p><p>He had seen her playing with a dinosaur toy before, so he took a t-rex into his hands and approached the girl slowly, but she just shook her head and said “I cannot play with this.”</p><p>“Graawr!” He roared, pretending to be the dinosaur. “I don't speak Japanese!”</p><p>“I don't want to play”, she said, but Ren saw her eyes following the dinosaur figure as he was setting it back on the shelf they had built with the group a few weeks before. He wondered if it would’ve been better if he returned with the dinosaur figurine again, but now it was too late. Every moment was judged in its passing.</p><p>He didn’t think he was bad with kids, but sometimes it seemed like he was missing an essential connection compared to the other caretakers. Most flocked to him like moths to a light, and although he was overwhelmed with the attention, he tried to be kind and caring to everyone.</p><p>But then there were days when he found the dinosaur-girl staring at him from the corner of the room, a soul far too old for her fellow playmates.</p><p>He was sure that she would one day lay flowers to rest on his grave and tell everyone that he was just a great pretender who just acted according to what people wanted.</p><p>No. That isn’t true. A voice in his head was saying, and he heard it mixing with Futaba’s. He had principles. He had morals he was acting on. Everyone does after all, it is just normal, right? He just tried to be a kind member of society.</p><p>He tried to imagine the kind of flowers she would lay down on his grave.</p><p><em>But that would be exactly what she is aiming for, isn’t she? </em>Laying them down, not gently, but with a big told-you-so, here are your flowers, just like you expected. Even though you don’t deserve them.</p><p>Maybe she would even buy them from the store he had been working at part-time in high-school, just to spite him.</p><p>A series of high-pitched clings brought him back to the counter of LeBlanc. He had pressed the rag into the cup too harshly and it broke into a thousand pieces.</p><p>Then there was the chime by the door, greeting the new customer like a wind that was ready to kick around the shards on the ground, not unlike a collection of clunky traps that were now being inspected by the person in front of the colored windows.</p><p>“My my, seems like I’ve caused quite a commotion already,” said the young customer who had just entered, shifting his glance from the shards on the floor right to Ren's eyes.</p><p>
  <em>Fuck.</em>
</p><p>Ren grabbed the dustpan, scrambling to get in front of the counter, mumbling a quiet “excuse me” that was greeted with a short - damn, it was <em>cute</em> too - snort.</p><p>Of course this had to happen just when a hot guy was entering the shop. But Futaba wouldn’t have set his Instagram nickname to “<em>ProbablyGonnaImproviseIDK</em>” if he didn't have the reputation to be able to turn situations like this around.</p><p>But of course, as he was collecting the shards that he secretly wished were reflective enough to steal some long and not-at-all intrusive glances at the guy, his mind went blank. He supposed he could say that his mind was… <em>leblank</em>. So much for the god of improvisation?</p><p>The customer grabbed a stool by the counter, far away from the coffee machines (<em>goddamnit, why couldn’t he come closer?</em>) in the shard-free zone. Ren heard the rustle of paper, and as he came up to stand again he found the guy looking at him with auburn eyes, the crossword in his hands. “Do you mind if I fill this in?”</p><p>“Not course - uhm, I mean, of course not!” He stammered, shaking the dustpan slightly as if to say<em> I’m still distracted by my cup breaking, not by you, totally not by you, </em>but the way the guy put his fingers to his chin and smiled at him could mean <em>“I know what you’re playing at ‘cause I’m hot shit, you little fucker”</em> or it could also mean <em>“Fucking stop standing around and get me my coffee already”</em> … or both for all that he knew.</p><p>Ren put the shards into the trash noisily and got back to the counter, smiling brightly at the customer and said “Hey, I’m your barista today, Ren Amamiya!” He greeted him, because he was very normal and that was what he did everyday.</p><p>The guy chuckled. “Well, I’m your well-paying customer today, Goro Akechi.”</p><p>He actually answered! With his name!</p><p>What! Are! The! Odds! Maybe the shards on the floor were a sign of luck after all. He made a mental note to stop by a temple to put in some coin for the goddess of falling cups or her less relatable sisters.</p><p>“So what is the barista’s recommendation today?”</p><p>Ren spurred into motion again. “How about some Blue Mountain?” He suggested, as it was the first thing that came to mind.</p><p>“That sounds excellent, thank you.” Akechi - Ren wondered which kanji he used to write his name, but it was kinda awkward to ask that if it's not right after he said it - took a pen out of the pocket of his peacoat and started filling in the crossword.</p><p>The news was coming up on the TV set at the end of the counter. He wondered if he could engage Akechi in some kind of casual conversation, but if he talked about the news the guy that was still in the café was sure to complain about politics aga-</p><p>Oh shit. He forgot about the curry he needed to warm up for the regular. As he put the beans for the roast through the grinder, he glanced over at the guy and saw that he wasn’t angry per se, but the lines around his eyes had tightened far more than he had ever seen before.</p><p>“I’m sorry sir, your curry is coming right up,” he notified while lighting the gas stove. No matter how many times he did it, he always took a step back when the blue flame was lighting up, smiling at it in awe.</p><p>He felt like he was being watched, but when he turned around both the regular and Akechi had their eyes fixated on their newspapers.</p><p>
  <em>“It is sickening how people today just go through their lives like rats clinging to the first bit of food they can find --”</em>
</p><p>Ren winced at the sound coming from the TV and walked up to it. He really did not have the nerve to listen to Shido’s bullshit right now.</p><p>“<em>— even if it's poisoning them. So they fill their heads with absurd ideas of a world that is supposed to be much better, while ignoring that when they accept these false promises they will fall to their —</em>”</p><p>With a beep, the program changed to a white cat sneaking through temple grounds.</p><p>“Sorry, I really wanted to watch this documentary”, Ren said to Akechi, though the only one he could count on being pissed off about the program change was the regular.</p><p>Akechi looked as if he was frozen for a split second, but he shook his head and laughed. “Never mind. I never liked politics that much.”</p><p>“Hm”, Ren humed noncommittally. “It seems like a lot of people who didn't bother with it before flock to that guy.”</p><p>He set down Akechi’s coffee in front of him and the boy put the cup to his lips, taking a slow sip. As he put the cup down again he closed his eyes and made a small sound that ran through Ren’s spine like velvet.</p><p>“Are you satisfied?”</p><p>Akechi opened his mouth as if to answer, only to be cut off by the repetitive beeping of his phone like he was being attacked by a flurry of aggressive birds.</p><p>While Akechi looked through his phone, Ren took the time to check the curry. It got way too hot while he was distracted, so he set it aside and shot the regular an apologetic smile. Hopefully nothing of the mishaps that occured today would reach Sojiro.</p><p>The documentary about the cat in the temple was still running in the background and currently a worker was being interviewed about it. “<em>They bring a calming, yet aggravating presence onto the temple grounds.”</em></p><p>“Had a stressful day?”, he asked Akechi as he set his phone aside again. Good. That was normal Barista-talk, right?</p><p>“I'm too pretty to be stressed,”, Akechi said, a shiny sharpness to his laugh.</p><p>“Pretty people can be stressed too,” Ren replied. “Sure, some things might be easier, but think of the lifetime total … that they spend on their hair.”</p><p>“Oh, I can assure you I’m blessed with hair that falls into place really easily.” Akechi put a stray strand of hair behind his ear and Ren found himself wishing he could set his own fingers on top of Akechi’s and feel the softness of his skin. God, Ann would cancel him.</p><p>“Well, I’m grateful then,” Ren murmured, feeling the blood rushing to his face and hoping he doesn’t look as flustered as he feels.</p><p>“Yeah.” Akechi said and closed his fingers around the cup of coffee again. “It's something to be grateful about, certainly.”</p><p>The conversation seemed to have ended there, but the silence that followed was filled with a weird sort of tension; the kind that made Ren feel like he should drown himself in the curry instead of asking Akechi about his day. He looked around the kitchen, searching for something to focus on, but even as he put out the dish for the regular he felt like the Sayuri painting was turning her head to silently judge him and his every movement. Just as he got back to the counter, Akechi set down a 1000-yen bill and put his stool back.</p><p>“The coffee was excellent, thank you.”</p><p>The sweet customer left him with a last, perfect smile.</p><p>Ren smiled back, trying to mirror what he was seeing, as not to be too awkward, but as the door chime rang again and Akechi left, he felt like his jaw was hurting.</p><p>He unclenched it and rubbed the side of his face. It was as if the memory of the encounter that just ended had settled into physical memory already.</p><p>There was a bitter drop of sadness that clouded the sweet taste. When he had imitated Akechi’s expression it became clear to him, and he questioned everything that had happened before.</p><p>The smile had been alluring.</p><p>But not inherently genuine.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>We're finally live!</p><p>A huge thanks to the whole team of the GoroBigBang2020, especially my two beta-angels <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizalilac">Liza</a> (thanks for championing me through this!) and <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/cunning_capra">Capra</a>. Without them, this work would have had a lot more barely coherent sentences &lt;3</p><p><a href="https://twitter.com/reytrl">Rey</a> has provided amazing NSFW art for chapter 9 - I’ll link the FOOD in the note of that chapter. </p><p>I always felt like acting would fit Akechi very well as a career regarding his need to be loved and recognized. It’s also in line with wanting to become a hero, even though he will only be able to ‘play’ one. Hope you enjoy the fic and check the tags for potentially harmful content!</p><p>If you care for musical support, a friend hosted <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6o98A08DlC2iUXZWQGdn1x?si=U_k5E3xWRtmXIFp1iElVEg">my drafting playlist</a> on spotify, I can definitely recommend listening to it if you're into that!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Waxing Moon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On the way to the train, the flurry of messages from Akechi’s manager continued; most of them were just automated notices about new shooting dates pouring into his schedule. He was used to his calendar slowly being filled, not unlike a tetris player assuming you win when you fill the screen with the blocks instead of removing them.</p><p>But between all the call-time-info-entries, there was a message she had written herself.</p><p>
  <cite>Do you like cats?</cite>
</p><p>
  <cite>What's the matter?</cite>
</p><p>He did, but it was not like they liked him. He had his fair share of trying to caress a cat and being hit with claws instead.</p><p>
  <cite>There’s been rumours of you being<br/>distant on set, so I’ve been looking<br/>to get you into a campaign for the<br/>Yoyogi Cats &amp; Dogs Hospital. They can<br/>have you do the dogs part though.</cite>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <cite>These rumours are baseless. I am professional and polite on set.</cite>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <cite>I know, but you are well aware<br/>what such an observation can<br/>turn into. Take care</cite>
</p><p> </p><p>He tightened the grip around his phone. Someone at the variety show where he was a guest must’ve shared their meaningless opinion with friends and amplified the message through the toxic trickle of social media. But they couldn't win. He had thought up some anecdotes and stories that were sure to win sympathies if he used them right. He just had to work out when and how to place them.</p><p>He left a message for Ann - the café she had recommended had been rather pleasant, and the barista a welcome distraction.</p><p>Furthermore he wanted to share the open audition information with her. It would be nice to have a friend around so he could ease up a bit. But then there was the problem of his performance. The real side of Robin Blackheart, the Black Mask, wasn’t exactly a role he was used to. Ann had the idea that he was doing his job flawlessly. He thought they had an okay relationship, but he doubted that she’d think twice about cutting ties with him if he proved unable to meet her expectations. It was one of the unspoken deals other people made with him. It was a risk.</p><p> </p><p>
  <cite>The series I’m starring in has open auditions for<br/>the main cast. You should try it.<br/>p-revelations2.co.jp/auditions</cite>
</p><p> </p><p><cite>omg why didn’t you tell me you’re<br/></cite> <cite>doing a second season, you<br/></cite> <cite>jerk!<br/>uhmmm … I don’t even know which<br/>role to apply for<br/>you know i’m not really that confident<br/>abt acting</cite></p><p>
  <cite>Did you even read the descriptions?<br/>That white bitch is you. Accept it.</cite>
</p><p> </p><p>And that's precisely why he did it. He felt the pressure immediately, like pain pooling in the back of his head. The added risk spurred his drive to get the role right, no matter what.</p><p>It only took him about half an hour to get from the café in Yongenjaya to his home in Koenji. There was a cat-shop on the central road on the way to his apartment. He always passed by it to head straight for his home, but a few months ago they’d put a very rare nendoroid on display in the front window. It was Feather Red as a cat, modelled after the episode where he was turned into a tiger by an enemy that wanted to create a zoo by turning heroes into animals.</p><p>The shop was filled to the brim with miscellaneous goods, and all of them were related to cats: A cat clock, postcards with cats painted on them, cat plushies, cat buttons, even a calculator that meowed its results. It was hard to see the yellowish color of the walls because paintings of cats were plastered upon it from top to bottom. Akechi wondered if the barista would be interested in a shop like this.</p><p>The cat-clock told him it was five past six. That meant he had to hurry up. With swift steps, he followed the road a little more and turned into a side street, then walked up a staircase hidden in late-noon shadows. The damp smell in the hallways was both familiar and revolting.</p><p>His apartment was tiny. It had a kitchen nook, a bed, his laptop, a little bath. He could lie down on his bed, but that was it. He told himself that it couldn’t be helped, having such a small apartment, since he wanted to live a bit more central than most students. But he had lived in a larger apartment before and found it was much easier to keep himself distracted from intrusive thoughts in a smaller room.</p><p>Space that could be filled, would be filled up with things that he'd rather stay hidden. The bathroom floor was a safety hazard with it’s half-filled products and the different “medications” he used for his targets. The mirror was still usable, albeit broken, and he preferred to stare into the faces of the Featherman posters on his walls than into his own. Before he left his apartment he usually styled himself with his phone; it was the perfect way to get camera-ready anyway.</p><p>He pushed his hand under the low end of his mattress to retrieve the files he’d collected on Shiozaki, tonight’s target. As if it were a foreign body in the messy room, they were neatly organized in a clean, black folder. Akechi put it into his suitcase and searched for the bottle of toxin he wanted to use on Shiozaki. He had calculated the number of drops he’d need by using his medical records some weeks prior.</p><p>Hopefully nothing major had changed, though there was always the possibility of complications when people were drinking on outings like the one he was supposed to attend. Usually he transferred the toxin into a separate vial and just took that with him to the parties, but this time he decided to take the whole bottle with him in case he decided it would be wiser to recalculate.</p><p>The day seemed to be built on a shaky foundation. It was wiser to recheck everything twice.</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>The salad leaf Ren had perfectly drawn out from his burger dropped right from his mouth.</p><p>“C’mon, you always wanted to try it. And I really need your help!”</p><p>Sure enough, Ann seemed nervous - usually she fit in perfectly with the flashy colors of the Big Bang Burger interior, but today she seemed rather pale for their get-together.</p><p>“Didn’t ya say your acting buddy is in this anyway? I don’t see why he has to join too.” Ryuuji complained as he stuck a fry into his soft serve. “Isn’t that one hell of a schedule if he gets the lead?”</p><p>“It’s not about him getting the lead, it’s about getting him out there!” Ann explained, looking at Akira again. “I’d say you audition for this Mijima kid and see how it goes. He doesn’t have that many lines and is rather shy, I think even Ryuuji could do it!”</p><p>“Can you read out the first lines of the character profile for Mijima again?”, Ren asked.</p><p>“An inconspicuous boy who looks up to our main character and supports the Phantom Thieves by creating and managing their online presence. He is physically abused by his sports teacher and plays a key role in getting him arrested.”</p><p>Ren and Ryuuji shared a glance. He didn’t think Ann did it on purpose, but it reminded him of Ryuuji telling them about how his sports teacher treated them in middle school.</p><p>“I’m inconspicuous alright,” Akira mumbled, drumming his fingers against the table lightly.</p><p>“Don’t say it like that,” Ann scolded. “But you can if you want to be, right? So that’s definitely something you should capitalise on.” She shook her ponytails. “Trust me, you gotta find your strengths and play them right. It took me some time but I’m pretty confident about it now.”</p><p>“But Mijima? For real?”, Ryuuji sighed. One of his fries slowly disappeared into the soft serve. “Ren should totally go for the lead. I mean, it would be worth a try.”</p><p>Ren didn’t like to admit it, but that’s what he thought as well. For the lead - Akira Kurusu alias Joker - they were looking for a nondescript Japanese boy so that a lot of viewers from the target audience could identify with him. But the “nondescript Japanese boy” usually needed to have straight hair, but they were explicitly looking for someone with curly hair. And -</p><p>“I mean you certainly have that delinquent vibe,” Ann said.</p><p>“What?” Ryuuji asked. “I mean, sure, you can rely on Ren when things get tough but - WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!”</p><p>“Just vibing.” Ren shrugged, then put the rest of the ketchup into Ryuuji’s soft serve. While Ryuuji groaned and Ann rambled on about the ups and downs of open auditions, Ren’s mind drifted away. It was true that he said he would like to try acting. He had read somewhere that acting was just the human experience boiled down, so anyone could do it if they really put their mind to it.</p><p>He thought that empathy was probably a key factor - you just had to try to understand why other humans did what they did and send your own thoughts along the path to arrive at the same conclusions. But how did you get those conclusions to show truly and authentically in your own actions?</p><p>Ren opened his burger and stared down at the exposed layer of cheese. It was a dark orange and felt a bit leathery. The grease collected into one big drop at the corner. If he looked closely enough, maybe he could have seen a reflection of his features in the oil. Or it could act as a magnifying glass that showed him the essence of the cheese. Reveal it as the plasticky substance with artificial coloring that it really was.</p><p>He felt like the world was narrowing down to that single drop.</p><p>“Ren?”</p><p>He looked up into Ann’s face.</p><p>“So, I thought of a deal. If you come with me and at least try to audition for Mijima I’m going to buy you not one, not two, but three crêpes! How is that?”</p><p>He wondered if someone could still be loved if, like the figurative cheese, they bared their ingredients to the world and everyone realized that what they sought them out for was made out of thin air all along.</p><p><em>ProbablyGonnaImproviseIDK</em>.</p><p>“I’m in”, Ren said and reassembled the burger.</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>It was a struggle getting Shiozaki up to the hotel room - he had been way too intoxicated, and the timing of the poison had been a little off. His body went limp on the way to the room and Akechi had to carry him all the way until he could push him onto the bed, so now his clothes carried his sour smell.</p><p>Akechi looked down at the body, numb limbs sunken into the hotel bed, spit dried around the lips. He was glad he had taken the whole vial with him. He had been careless. When he first aimed for Shiozaki’s glass and put the drug in, another politician tried to take a sip from it and Akechi didn't know better than to grab the glass away from the politician, drink the mixture himself and run to the bathroom to make himself vomit. It had been unnecessary ruckus and it could’ve cost him success.</p><p>After taking about ten photos of Shiozaki aligned in various poses with him, he was content. He would be showing these to Shiozaki tomorrow morning and coerce him into making a confession, or he’d send the pictures to be public, along with a statement of his previous crimes and confirmed allegations of his illegal political involvements. And abuse of a young actor on top of that. It would be devastating, and the easier option for him would be to just confess. Akechi knew he would. They all did. They were nothing more than rats backed into a corner.</p><p>Shiozaki was snoring loudly, and Akechi swallowed the desire to put one of his gloved hands over his mouth and nose. It was an intrusive thought, one that kept coming back again and again. This scum didn't deserve to be alive. But when Akechi blinked, he felt his fingers closing around his own throat.</p><p>Nothing more than rats backed into a corner. He wondered how long it’d been since he adopted that phrasing from Shido. He wanted to take a knife and chip away at his skin, going deeper and deeper until he hit bone, watch it fall apart under his hands, revealing that he really had nothing aside.</p><p>At least it would be over.</p><p>He pressed his face against the cold glass of the hotel room window.</p><p>The moon was a small sickle, a round door that had been opened just a tad. He wanted it to be shut. Shut. Shut.</p><p>But it was a waxing moon, ready to open the gate for havoc.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The cat shop Akechi is passing is based on <a href="http://www6.speednet.ne.jp/~nekojarasi/">this shop in Koenji</a>.</p><p>The chapter length is NOT representative y'all. Prepare for endless scrolling lmao</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Audition, Audacity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Reassuring a worried father that his son would be alright even though he slipped on the last stair on the way out of kindergarten was the right thing to do. Ren didn't mind arriving fashionably late for the audition.</p><p>He would learn that the team that organized the audition however, did mind and that arriving late on set was considered inexcusable. He had arrived at the location, panting, a woman in a suit looking up and down at him. They made him wait in a small room, girls and boys his age lined up on hard shell seats, the air buzzing with anxiety and hope. It was intoxicating. He didn't feel bad about the prospect of snatching a chance away from them.</p><p>But he had been too late. He was one of the numbers assigned to get lost in the shuffle even before the party started.</p><p>On the way back to the elevator two blonde ponytails blocked his vision. Ann grabbed his arm and pulled him to the side.</p><p>“Ren! Why are you leaving already?” she sounded urgent, “Did it not go well? What did they say?”</p><p>Ren explained his mishap and Ann sighed, but stayed rather light on her feet, guiding him along a narrow hallway where the voices of the other people who wanted to audition couldn’t reach. The age of the people standing in the halls climbing higher and higher, clothes growing more formal.</p><p>Ann <em>had</em> arrived on time, acted out her lines with exacerbating confidence (which according to her, had only worked because she imagined the office plant was Ren) and now she needed him to go with her to the screen read that was scheduled right away.</p><p>She hadn’t gotten the role - not yet - they were grouping possible casts together and needed to test out how they were played against each other. “I get it”, Ann said, “If you cast so many new faces, you can’t take as many risks, but I`m —” She took a deep breath, “I’m so nervous, Ren!”</p><p>Ren chuckled.</p><p>“What are you laughing at?”</p><p>“I’m sure you’ll do great, Ann”, he said and meant it. Her acting skills had come a long way since they were high schoolers , when she had failed at fooling teachers with even bite-sized lies.</p><p>“I really wish you could've made your audition,” she said, pouting.</p><p>He averted his eyes with a twang of guilt. “I’m sorry.” Sure, he had his reasons , but he still felt bad that he was letting his friend down. He hadn’t realized she had been counting so much on him trying out for the role of Mijima.</p><p>That reminded him. “Didn't you say a model friend of yours was cast in the series as well?”</p><p>“He was. And it's making me even more nervous”, she said, “because <em>I know</em> that he’s just going to use every time I fail as an opportunity to tease me. <em>And</em> he’ll make weird bets that I’ll end up losing, and then I will be stuck paying for his frivolous desserts again, <em>ugh</em>.”</p><p>It was weird for Ann to complain about desserts. “You're sure you're on good terms with this friend?”</p><p>“Oh god, Ren, yes”, Ann said, and she was actually smiling again. “It's all in good humor, thankfully. I know how to push his buttons if he's going too far, don’t you worry about it”, she left a little kiss on his cheek, a move she could only dare because people thought of her as a foreigner with her own customs, “but thank you for worrying about me. I swear he can be such a —”</p><p>“Ann-chan. Won’t you introduce me to your friend?”</p><p>Ren knew that voice, it was —</p><p>He turned around and felt his body go light.</p><p>Akechi`s eyes widened in surprise.</p><p>“Oh my. You`re the barista from that café in Yongenjaya.” He looked around. “Are you providing coffee for the catering here?”</p><p>“That’s … that’s actually a good idea”, Ann said and grabbed Ren by the sleeve. “If you don’t make it into the series, maybe you can come to set as a barista? Please!”</p><p>A honey-sweet smile washed over Akechi’s face. “So you’re auditioning? Best of luck. I’m sure Ann-chan could use a friend on set.”</p><p>Ann softly hit Akechi’s side with her fist and he let out a small, warm chuckle, a touch of bliss for Ren’s ears. “Hey, you meanie, don’t treat me like a stranger!”</p><p>“The screen-read is in five - numbers: 805, 1127, 35”, a voice sounded through the speaker-system.</p><p>Ann patted her hand against her own number, 805. “This is me. Akechi, this is Ren. He’s my support animal.”</p><p>
  <em>Goro Akechi.</em>
</p><p>“Ren, this is Akechi-kun. He’s my <em>friend</em>, okay? And don’t get fooled by his handsomeness, he can be rather savage once you get to know him.”</p><p>Akechi kept the smile on his lips</p><p>Ren never felt more ready. “I’d like to see him try.”</p><p>“Anyway, I need to get my support animal into this screen read —”</p><p>The suited woman that opened the door for her shook her head. “I’m sorry Miss, we have to restrict the audience to just the production team.”</p><p>“Fetch me an NDA for him and I’ll make sure there's an additional seat in the audience”, Akechi told her and her expression went blank for a second. Finally she nodded and went inside. He motioned for Ann and Ren to follow him. “Come on in.”</p><p>The room for the screen read looked like a standard conference room. There were water bottles standing around and scattered scripts from previous reads. Next to the rectangular table, lined up right in front of the shuttered windows, was the production team. They sat upright in their seats, notes in hand, chattering with each other in low voices.</p><p>There was a woman with dark red flowing hair and a big white fur coat. The moment he had entered the room, Ren had felt her eyes on him. But before he could search her face for some kind of recognition a pen and a paper were pressed into his hand.</p><p>“You have to sign in the right corner of every page and then again at the end with the current date and your full signature”, the production assistant explained ,standing next to him while he tried to make sense of the words written on the paper. But the 21-pages and the people gathering next to him to sit down for the screen-read urged him to hastily jot down his initials and get on with it. He scrambled to explain that he didn’t bring his hanko with him, but the PA assured him he wouldn’t need it for this kind of contract. Ren assumed that should be alright. He had only Ann to talk about this anyway. And maybe Akechi, if he played his cards right.</p><p>The PA assigned him a chair right at the end of the line of production team members. He thought he felt someone looking at him and shot a glance at Akechi, but he had settled down on his chair, a pleasant smile adorning his face as he looked around at the aspiring actors, as if to encourage them with his presence alone.</p><p>A young woman with brown hair and a pink headband stood up at the head of the table and bowed in greeting. “Thank you for coming today. I’m the director, Yukari Takeba. Feel free to call me Yukari as long as we're working together.” She winked at a boy sitting right next to her who immediately straightened his spine.</p><p>“The pages you’ve been assigned are a cut of the TV-station school trip episode. I’m sure you’re all well prepared, but I’ll repeat a summary of the situation and your characters just to get us into the right mood. When I say the name of your role, please stand up. Akira Kurusu.”</p><p>The boy who had been intimidated by her wink stood up. He had a round, pretty face, and black curls hid half of his face. The number on his lapel read 1127.</p><p>“Kouji Takasu, and Cherry Fujita.” Number 35, a serious looking boy with an athletic build got up, and then there was Ann, hands shaking while she held up her script. Ren balled his hands into fists and tried to send her positive energy. <em>C’mon, I know you can do it!</em></p><p>“You are classmates from the same school and acting as the first members of the Phantom Thieves. You have just changed the heart of an artist who stole the artwork from his students and now, while you are on a class trip to the TV station, you meet a young detective who has been keeping an eye on the Phantom Thieves, Robin Blackheart.”</p><p>It was Akechi’s turn, and he made it known. Just by standing up his presence seemed to fill the room, making Ren even more excited for what’s about to come. That must be the difference between a seasoned actor, comfortable with what they are doing, and the ones still searching for their place.</p><p>“In this scene our hero, Akira Kurusu, will engage with Robin Blackheart during a questioning of the audience. Don’t worry about reading everything out exactly as it was written, just focus on your fellow actors and try to be open about what’s happening while you act the scene out with each other. The PA will read out the lines of the TV crew and the CGI cat.”</p><p>As soon as the PA began to read out the lines from the TV announcer, the mood in the room seemed to shift. The serious looking boy immediately put on a kind of sour expression, that was way softer than the stern face he had before. Ann was way more relaxed and watched the announcer attentively, as if she was actually in the audience of the TV show herself. 1127 merely lifted his chin a bit, staying in the same stance he had before.</p><p>The PA and Akechi, playing Robin Blackheart, got into an invigorating natural flow. Ren had to force himself to check on Ann’s reactions to what was happening in the interview because he was so mesmerized by the way Akechi carried himself.</p><p>“All right, let’s try asking this student here”, the PA addressed 1127, who had auditioned for the main character, Akira Kurusu. “Hypothetically speaking, what are your thoughts on these Phantom Thieves, if they were real?”</p><p>“They are justice itself,” he said, the voice a bit more stern than Ren would’ve expected.</p><p>“You say that with such firmness,” Akechi replied.</p><p>“This completely goes against the opinion you had about them being tried by law, Robin-kun.”</p><p>“Indeed, it's rather intriguing to hear such a strong acknowledgement. In that case, there’s one more question I’d like to ask… If someone close to you, for example your friend next to you… If his heart suddenly changed… wouldn’t you think it was the work of the Phantom Thieves?”</p><p>Ren felt his hands balling into fists from the tension he felt. Even though they were not directed at him, the energy in those words moved right under his skin, making him nervous for the main character.</p><p>“They only target criminals,” 1127 said. He tried to look Akechi in the eye, but couldn’t hold his gaze.</p><p>“Stop”, Yukari said, “Let’s try this exchange right again with a different approach. Akechi-kun, try to play Robin a bit more playful here, and …” She looked down on her notes, “… Takeshi-san, excuse me, try to hold your own in that scene.”</p><p>Takeshi-san spoke up. “But isn’t Akira supposed to be a bit … reserved in public?”</p><p>“Let’s just say that is one of the rare occasions where he’s flirting with fire. He cannot stop himself embracing a good challenge.” Yukari winked again, and it felt to Ren like Akechi picked up the charm she spread effortlessly, working it into his gestures for the scene.</p><p>Unfortunately, Takeshi-san’s lines fell a bit flat again, even though it felt like he was really trying. Akira couldn’t blame him - there were so many eyes on him, it was one of his first times going through the scene, and Akechi’s presence was so overwhelming that he felt it would be hard for anyone to live up to</p><p>Even though everyone in the room clearly felt the lack of substance in the conversation between Robin and Akira, the director didn’t stop the scene this time. Robin Blackheart and the TV reporter continued to talk for a bit, then there was a bit of banter between the characters of Kouji Takasu and Cherry Fujita.</p><p>The actor that tried out for Kouji really surprised Ren. He had seemed so prim and proper when he first stood up, but the way he carried himself through the conversation was really fitting for the delinquent that Kouji was supposed to be. And Ren was rather impressed by how natural Ann sounded as Cherry. She really felt like a good fit for the role and he wondered if she was enjoying the experience, since he himself thought it could be a fun diversion from modeling for her.</p><p>“That’s enough,” Yukari said after Kouji said a line about excusing himself to the toilet, and judging by the looks from the crew, that was not where the scene was supposed to end, even though it felt like a good place to stop. “Thank you everyone for your attention. I would like to ask everyone except the production team to take a seat in the waiting room. As for you, Takeshi-san, thank you for your efforts but I have to admit I don’t think it’s quite what we’re looking for in the role of Akira Kurusu. Feel free to come back for other characters if we open auditions again.”</p><p>“Okay,” Takeshi-san said. He seemed rather unfazed, but maybe that was just his way of swallowing bad news. “Thank you for the opportunity.”</p><p>The chairs started to squeak with sudden relief and Ren moved towards Ann, smiling with praise. “You did a great job!”</p><p>“Oh my god, that was so intense”, she said and stretched her arms long and wide the second they’d left the room. “I’m impressed by the atmosphere that can be created just by reading out lines!”</p><p>Ren put his hands into his pockets and leaned against the wall of the hallway in front of the waiting room. “And you’re part of why it worked.”</p><p>“That would be cool,” she said, lowering her voice, “but you know, with him, it was like no effort. I wonder if you can call that acting? I just automatically reacted to what he was saying.”</p><p>With him. With Akechi. Ren shrugged his shoulders. “The protagonist guy wasn’t able to keep up with that. I think you did a good job.”</p><p>“I don’t know how they are supposed to find someone who can keep up with Akechi-kun <em>and </em>who is also a newcomer. Maybe they have like a secret acting-microchip prepared?”</p><p>Ren had been waiting for Akechi-kun to join them on the way to the waiting room, but he hadn’t even seen him leave the room for the screen-read.</p><p>“Maybe they are looking for someone like you”, he wondered and smiled back at Ann, “someone who can read the signs and go with the flow he’s creating to make the scene work.”</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>Someone who can read the signs and go with the flow.</p><p>It wouldn’t have occurred to Ren in a million years that he would be given such an opportunity. But it was precisely what he was good at. Reading signs and going with the flow.</p><p>But with him?</p><p>There was a sliver of hope pulling on his heart, hoping he’d be able to face him. He tried to remember the note of the director in the screen-read before. <em>Flirting with fire.</em></p><p>He felt heat rising into his cheeks. He could think of little<em> else</em> than trying to flirt with this guy. He just needed to be the fire. Where Robin Blackheart emanated confidence, he had to answer with coolness, letting them clash, anticipating the friction. When he was calculating his jabs against the Phantom Thieves he had to set up the traps, little gestures and glances, ready to lure him in.</p><p>And oh, how he would like to lure him in.</p><p>Ann sat on the chair Ren had been seated in during the previous screen-read, next to the actor who played Kouji Takasu, who had introduced himself as Masa-kun in the waiting room. He seemed to be hyper focused on what was going on at the table in front of him, while Ren was still letting his mind wander, searching for past ideas to shield himself for what’s about to come.</p><p>He had to be calm. Be this … <em>Joker</em> guy.</p><p>When they asked him to jump in for another tryout for the scene, they had handed him a sheet with the information he needed to keep in mind about the character. He was supposed to play the suave leader of the Phantom Thieves, unsuspecting student Akira Kurusu by day, justice seeking persona user by now. This was the scene where his other self, Joker, had to shine through.</p><p>“Okay, let’s start! Do you have any more questions, Ren-kun?”, Yukari asked, hands clasped together in front of her.</p><p>He heard Ann make a small sound behind him. She was probably more nervous about this than he was himself. He really had no stake in this, nothing to lose.The thought made him calm down a bit. He really just wanted to make an impression on Akechi. His goal was to bother him enough to force him to return to the café.</p><p>The thought made his mind shift, going into full assault.</p><p>“No more questions, thank you”, he said and found himself involuntarily smiling. He was surprised by how light and confident he sounded.</p><p>He caught a flicker of surprise in Akechi’s eyes.</p><p>Good.</p><p>“Then that scene is a go”, Yukari said and Ren felt Akechi shift into his Robin Blackheart stance across from him, launching into the conversation between the TV announcers and Robin. He felt like they moved through the lines even more intensely than before, maybe sharpened by the practice-run they had before. Even though he wasn’t part of the conversation yet and Akira Kurusu wasn’t supposed to know he was going to be asked the audience question, in his mind he already inserted himself, a voice trying to pull Akechi - Robin - to him.</p><p><em>You don’t know what you’re talking about,</em> he voiced in his mind as if tempting Robin, <em>but you could, if you would just ask me. Who knows, maybe I give you a little extra info about the Phantom Thieves? If you’re a good boy, that is. Not that it will increase any of your changes catching us anyway.</em></p><p>Yukari announced the 30% of the audience believing in the Phantom Thieves.</p><p>“I’m a bit surprised. That’s higher than I was expecting”, Akechi said, one of his perfect casual smiles adorning his face.</p><p>
  <em>Come and get it, detective.</em>
</p><p>Ren held his breath for just a second, trying to keep the stance he had moved in since the beginning of the scene, when he felt Akechi’s eyes grazing his face.</p><p>“ I’d love to hear some more detailed opinions on the Phantom Thieves’ actions.”</p><p>Ren felt his heart hammering against his chest. Akechi did not look at Yukari playing the TV announcer, instead he kept his eyes fixed on him, even though the line was part of the conversation with her. Ren hadn’t expected that. When he had acted the scene out with Takeshi-san, he had only turned to him when the TV announcer introduced him.</p><p>His eyes seemed to shift in color, spilling over with curiosity. Ren tried to conjure the words Joker would read into the scene.</p><p><em>You act like a hot-shot, </em>he imagined Akechi putting his fingers to Ren’s chin, words dripping with desire, <em>but you’re not the only one who knows how to play this game.</em></p><p>“All right, let’s try asking this student here”, the words of the announcer were like a breath of fresh air, “Hypothetically speaking, what are your thoughts on these Phantom Thieves, if they were real?”</p><p>Desiring to cut him open. <em>The Phantom Thieves, with me as their leader.</em> “They are justice itself.”</p><p>The words felt heavy as they left his mouth. He felt there was real weight behind it. Still they wouldn’t crash into the floor, instead they conjured something into the air, a knife into his hand.</p><p>Akechi let out a small chuckle. “You say that with such firmness.”</p><p>He held the tension in between them, an invisible rope dotted with thorns he knew would cut into his skin if he made a single wrong move.</p><p>They were both looking for blood to spill.</p><p>“This completely goes against the opinion you had about them being tried by law, Akechi-kun.”</p><p>Akechi pushed a strand of hair behind his ear. “Indeed, it's rather intriguing to hear such a strong acknowledgement.” He leaned forward, putting one hand against his chin. Ren fought the need to step back, to regain the distance between them. Akechi was here to accept Ren’s challenge. “In that case, there’s one more question I’d like to ask…”</p><p>Akechi left the words hanging in the air, as if he was waiting for Ren to complete his sentence. Ren stuck to the script, but leaned in as well, pressing into the invisible wall the tension had pulled up.</p><p>Akechi’s expression didn’t change.</p><p>But Ren saw his adam’s apple bobbing. A small, almost indiscernible gulp. A smile spilled over his own face before he noticed it coming.</p><p>Akechi’s eyes pierced through him. “If someone close to you, for example, your friend next to you… If his heart suddenly changed… wouldn’t you think it was the work of the Phantom Thieves?”</p><p>The words drowned against the rush of blood in his ears. His skin prickled, a relentless energy pulling him over the table. He could see it so clearly, the way this detective would finally shut up, it just needed Ren to spell out the obvious, with -</p><p>“Cut,” Yukari said. “We have seen enough. Thank you.”</p><p>That’s it.</p><p>Ren let himself slump back into his seat, frantically searching for something, anything other Akechi to look at, finding Ann, her hands covering her mouth.</p><p>“I think we all need to take a little break here,” Yukari said, sighing. Akechi didn’t bother to sit down. Instead, he immediately turned around and left the room, steady steps sounding to Ren like the ticking of a clock, a timer rushing towards the announcement of what a disappointment he was.</p><p>He had blown it. He had been so caught up in Akechi’s acting that he had forgotten to say his next line.</p><p>But damn if it didn’t feel good to watch Akechi this closely. He reached up, as if to run his fingers through his hair, but in reality was checking his cheeks. They were hot.</p><p>Ann moved next to him, her hand resting on his arm.</p><p><em>How was it?</em>, Ren mouthed, unable to draw out the words. As if his voice still belonged to Joker.</p><p>Ann shook her head frantically, like she often did when he had one of his especially stupid ideas. Then she opened her mouth, but the director cut in.</p><p>“Wow, that was really something”, The director said, handing her business card to him, “I’m really glad you took the chance and agreed to try this out. Also props to producer Kirijo-san for noticing you. I really can’t emphasize enough how important it is to have a staff that has the knack for that.”</p><p>“It’s nothing, really”, Kirijo-san said, moving next to her. It was the woman with the red flowing hair Ren had noticed looking at him before. “You did a better job than I expected for someone that didn’t prepare for the role. Now go get some rest. We still need to see some other actors over the next few days, but leave us your number and prepare to be contacted anytime.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Yukari let out a short, hearty laugh and put her hand on his shoulder. “What we’re saying is, you did a really good job. We still have to process all this, but it’s obvious you and Akechi-kun needed each other in this scene. So just be proud of yourself and call it a day.”</p><p>“Huh,” Ren said, still attempting to process this information himself. The scene already seemed like a far-gone dream, a drop of zeal that wasn’t part of him.</p><p>Yet.</p><p>He felt Ann glow next to him, her sigh turning into excited chatter. He wasn’t able to listen.</p><p>Ren looked back at the empty chair at the table, feeling the unbridgeable abyss Akechi left in his wake.</p><p>
  <em>Reacting to your flow. Getting caught up in it. Changing it.</em>
</p><p>They needed each other for the scene to play out in the most effective way.</p><p>He replayed Akechi’s words in his head, and felt a little shiver moving through him, a soft, tingly sensation.</p><p>
  <em>“If his heart suddenly changed… wouldn’t you think it was the work of the Phantom Thieves?”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>What the fuck was <em>that</em>?</p><p>Akechi splashed cold water into his face, slowly trying to get his mind back on track, searching for instructions on how to make sense of what happened.</p><p>Instead his chest was burning with something like … resentment. Yes. Resentment. A frantic flame radiating deep into his limbs, his loins. He wanted to smash Ren’s pretty face into a wall, whispering filthy curses into his ear, making him submit.</p><p>He needed to put him in his place.</p><p>Who could be so fucking presumptous to walk into a screen-read, an opportunity <em>Akechi </em>had provided for him, even though now he realized he should’ve just left him outside with the other aspirants to rot, lure the production team into letting him actually try out for the fucking lead, the hero, the —</p><p>Akechi smashed his fist against the cold marble of the sink.</p><p>When he first heard Kirijo-san’s suggestion, he thought of it as little more than the occasional absurd idea producers liked to entertain, but Takeba-san immediately joined her, saying she’d could totally imagine a special something hidden in that friend of Ann’s.</p><p>What exactly was so great about him?</p><p>He couldn’t deny it had been far more interesting to act out the scene with him than the previous forgettable clown that had assumed he could try out for the lead . But it only got interesting because Akechi didn’t care about how Robin was to act in that scene. He just cared about making that filthy barista remember that he was not made for this. That he should return home and brew another cup of coffee and collect whatever tips his customers had to spare.</p><p>And yet …</p><p>He fought the desire to let his fingers wander past his waistband. What was wrong with <em>him</em>? He was fucked up. He fucked up. It should’ve been so easy. He was supposed to keep up his exceptional performances, adding another screen-read to the long line of try outs where he crushed the actors trying out for Akira Kurusu.</p><p>Making the producers realize that there was only one option for the lead.</p><p>The obvious one.</p><p>What was he lacking?</p><p>He hissed through his teeth, pushing back the tears of frustration pricking at his eyelids.</p><p>His phone buzzed. There was only one person getting through his phone’s do-not-disturb-mode.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“We’re meeting at the agency tonight at 11.”</p><p>Putting him into robotic mode.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Shido hung up. If it was that important that he had called himself, he needed to show up or face dire consequences.</p><p>He turned on his heel, took a deep breath in and went on his way back to the conference room before anyone would assume he was gone for something else than a short trip to the bathroom.</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>Whenever they met, it was always at Shido’s bureau in the agency.</p><p>Of course he still had his office in the headquarters of the United Future Party, but the agency was set in a building that had as many entries and exits as Shido had wished to install and was not supervised by a higher office.</p><p>Naturally, dirty work was to be coordinated from here.</p><p>The place was brightly lit - they had to be lucid and clear about the current agenda, and there was nothing to hide between them. The brown, polished furniture and expensive alcohol bottles were the only spots where the darkness boasted its influence.</p><p>A tall man with an athletic build was standing beside the windows, leaning against the wall. It was the spot in the room where he had the most escape routes in sight and could easily observe everyone’s movements. He was an unobtrusive column, but one wouldn’t dare forget about his existence. The man belonged to the Yakuza and was Shido’s private hitman, though Akechi didn’t doubt he was working for other people as well and would continue to get work if Shido suddenly vanished from existence.</p><p>Two men sat on a dark green leather couch with golden ornaments. The one on the left was slowly sinking into the cushions - a politician named Ooe. He was the one who had suggested most operations that helped Shido get a better position in the United Future Party, but was actually from another party. Shido once told Akechi that he expected Ooe to backstab him one day and had already told Akechi what to do in case it seemed like he was about to be overthrown.</p><p>The other person sitting on the couch was the only one who greeted Akechi when he came in, a bearded scientist called Kawasaki. He was the one who had taught Akechi how to use and prepare toxins to use on his targets.They had something that Akechi dared to call a friendly professional relationship. It definitely helped that Kawasaki had access to a lot of drugs, and he was willing to share them.</p><p>They had been called because Shido wanted to move on with their planning of the “olive green incident”. Akechi had gotten a folder with information on train conductors that had been pre-screened by Kawasaki, so he already knew there was probably some kind of new toxin involved. With the name ‘olive green’ Akechi already guessed they wanted to do something with the Yamanote Line, but the details had been kept from him until now.</p><p>Now, Shido finally handed him the goal of the mission. “One of them needs to cause a major incident while at work. A big disruption during the morning commute.”</p><p>“We need it to happen in the next four weeks, since approval rates for the man who we want to replace the current MLIT minister with are especially high right now”, Ooe said, “We can’t miss this chance.”</p><p>That was quite different from their usual operations. “If I may speak up”, Akechi said, “Getting close to Kajiwara-san and pressuring him into leaving office would be a much safer option, no?”</p><p>Kawasaki laughed. “Oh Akechi-kun, naive as ever.”</p><p>“I am not.”</p><p>“Why did you think I looked up all these train conductors? I made something good for them”, Kawasaki said, still smiling, “something that should take effect the next morning if you administer it the night before.”</p><p>“I see”, Akechi said, still a bit taken aback, “but I still think it would be much easier to deal with Kajiwara-san the old-fashioned way.”</p><p>“No. It needs to be public,” Shido got to his feet behind his desk, walking towards the window looking towards the streets of Roppongi at night, “As soon as the incident happens, I will be out there to hear the people. I will speak up for those who have been hurt, those who are in shock, those who are in need of someone who takes national security seriously.”</p><p>“But civilians will be hurt.”</p><p>Shido took a big sip from his glass filled with brown liquor. Akechi knew he shouldn’t have spoken up.</p><p>“Don’t act all high and mighty now, after all that you’ve done. The politicians you’ve targeted also had families that cared for them. And you still did it. This is nothing more than collateral damage.”</p><p>“But the politicians deserved it, they —”</p><p>“What does it matter if they deserved it or not, it still needed to be done. Don’t budge now.”</p><p>Akechi pushed the image of Wakaba away, a thin line against white tiles, it had been a strange place to fall asleep. “Yes, sir.”</p><p>“The conductors in the file I gave you should all be valid for the toxin, but if you narrow it down I can check again who would be most safe with it,” Kawasaki said and Akechi was thankful for his appeasing tone.</p><p>“Thank you.” Akechi was not sure if ‘safe’ was achievable in this case. The ‘safe’ they were looking for was simply causing a delayed reaction, maybe involving his death at a later time. The problem would be getting close enough to the conductor to slip him the toxin and still make sure he would show up to work the next day. But that was probably why he had been asked to skim through the files so closely. Akechi had already marked down some of them for being close to getting fired, because he assumed he needed to be pressuring them into giving out information for Shido to use to his advantage. He was still worried about how he would get close to them if they weren’t public figures or people that had ties to any of their contacts, but he should at least easily be able to find someone who would even go to work when they felt sick in fear of losing their job.</p><p>Shido sat down at his desk again. “You heard Ooe, we need to get this done in the next four weeks. I won’t allow failure.”</p><p>That was his cue to step outside with Kawasaki and talk through the details. He had taken up his space for the day.</p><p>“Of course, Sir.”</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>They stood outside, relishing the spring night air.</p><p>Kawasaki explained to him how the toxin was supposed to work. Once ingested, it took 10 to 12 hours to produce visible effects. The affected person would get extremely dizzy and irritated, in the best case - as Kawasaki called it - they would experience something akin to psychosis for an undetermined amount of time. They weren’t sure if the effect was reversible or there if there was any long term damage.</p><p>The only thing they cared about was the long-term damage to the political system, Akechi supposed.</p><p>Kawasaki offered it to him, but he declined.</p><p>“You look tired,” he said.</p><p>He felt his weight shift with how he turned his head towards Kawasaki, an unassuming smile on his face. “Really?” he gently tapped his cheeks.</p><p>Akechi had been wanting to hear those words from Kawasaki. And he couldn’t deny it. It had been a long day. “I might need to allot more of my time for beauty sleep.”</p><p>They both knew what he wanted.</p><p>Kawasaki sighed. “I do have the new ones with me, but I advise you not to take them with the yellow ones. We haven’t tested them enough yet.” He scrambled for something in his bag. “Or at least wait 24 hours, as you should anyway. We can’t have you dying, alright?”</p><p>“Yes,” Akechi gladly took the small translucent bag from him, filled with something that looked like prescription pills. Unlike the stuff he got from Kawasaki in the meetings with Shido, which were the toxins they had been using on their targets, the pills were exclusively for him. Or at least so he liked to think.</p><p>“Repeat to me what I’ve told you.”</p><p>“Don’t take them with the yellow ones.”</p><p>“And?”</p><p>“I don’t plan on taking them daily anyway, Kawasaki ”, he said. He meant it. These were supposed to be for his worst days, when he felt like he was chained to his bed, unable to move, and his will wasn’t strong enough to get him out. Even admitting that to Kawasaki would’ve been impossible a few years ago, but he had swallowed his pride so he could get his hands on these drugs.</p><p>If Akechi failed, that would set the scientist’s plans on fire too after all.</p><p>Akechi excused himself and went on his long way home. He barely caught the last train, looking up into the glass of the car to see his face, panting from his mad sprint. Behind him a man in a suit had passed out on one of the seats, the scent of alcohol still potent around him. Akechi wanted something to drink too. He couldn’t imagine falling asleep otherwise.</p><p>Shido had been drinking tonight as well. Maybe that’s what all adults did once they reached a certain age. Get a drink to wash away the bad choices, the heavy conscience, the weight of death drawing closer.</p><p>When he switched trains at Yotsuya he got a can of strong zero at the station and slipped it into his bag.</p><p>Back in Koenji the street had a sweet sound to it, a low, friendly buzz from the food shops that still had customers seated outside. Akechi passed them and felt the air rushing over his skin, his steps slow but steady, taking his time to advance through the muddy water his mind collected around him.</p><p>He passed the cat-shop again on the last street to his apartment, but with it being this late at night the shop was already closed. Some cat figures in the showcase were touched by the soft blue light from the backlit cat-clock on the wall. It seemed like they were looking up at him, smiling.</p><p>There was a figure of a black cat in the back of the case. Its tail was raised as if in a come hither motion, and even though it wasn’t placed in the center, it seemed confident in its stance. Casual, yet confident. It seemed to be looking at the other cats closely, a sharp smile painted in between its cheeks.</p><p>Akechi wondered what was going on in its head. Were they looking down at the other cats, the cats that were playing in front of the case, having no clue about what the real world looked like? Were they proud of them playing so carelessly, enjoying the little freedom they had in their three foot wide display box?</p><p>He was sure they were laughing at the other cat figures. Of course, if you were being kept in such a close space you had to accomodate to it, but if there is glass around you, you still saw what was outside - saw what other people were doing, who you could be. There was the Featherman Red cat nendoroid right next to them, a taste of the hero they could be.</p><p>The black cat knew. It knew, and that is why it was smiling. It knew better and wouldn’t share its secret.</p><p>But if it wasn’t willing to share, there were ways to make it. And Akechi would gladly explore those options. Give out some treats to the kitty, play with it, make it feel as if they were royalty in its relationship with their owner.Their playmate, their servant.</p><p>He imagined his lips rushing onto Ren’s, biting into the flesh.</p><p>Good.</p><p>Akechi didn’t realize he drew blood until he saw the dark spot at his fingers, pressing against the shop windows like claws.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Omg NOT Ren Amamiya getting casted for the role of Akira Kurusu alias Joker!!! Imma die what kind of coincidence is this XDDDDDDDDDD </p><p>OK I'll leave now bye</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Fantastic Failure</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Stop that.”</p><p>“Stop what?” Ren continued to scroll through the feed, leaving a heart on every picture he deemed worthy, which was every pic.</p><p>“You <em>know</em> what. You have all the time in the world to get to know each other”, Ann said and snatched the phone from his hands. “You promised you’d help me with the Shiho scene!”</p><p>Ren walked his fingers over the table, slowly, imitating a cat stalking its prey.</p><p>“We should be prepared when we bring it up to … what is he called again? Aramaki? Ara.. Hey!”</p><p>Ren retrieved his phone from her hands again, returning to the precious feed. He had just uploaded something new. A give-away of some sort.</p><p>Ann got up and shifted her body over his makeshift attic-table, the phone screen a beacon of light in the shadowy cage her blonde hair made. “Oh … aaaand you tagged me. Of course.”</p><p>She sighed and got back, a strand of hair left hanging on the phone. Ren gently brushed it away.</p><p>“You really are thirsty, you know.”</p><p>Ren shrugged his shoulders. “You usually never complain when I move that quickly.”</p><p>“You are both my friends. And as I said ... The thirst”, she put the script pages on the table, “is not appropriate!”</p><p>After the spontaneous audition, Ren had felt like he was sitting on hot coals everytime his phone went off.</p><p>Three days, four days passed, and Ren was ready to suffocate the flame of hope. Ann was moving through the process, going to screen-tests, while he was back in his internship, playing with kids, discovering little bits of what he could call acting in the way he told stories to kids. He had tasted the forbidden fruit and kept on pressing for its juices.</p><p>It had all been part of his reality, he realized. And for that realization alone it had been good to take a shot at the audition. Still, he felt like a boy that had a skewer of dango placed in front of him, diving into the scent, mouth watering in anticipation, only to watch it being taken away. If only Akechi would come by the coffee shop again - but it seemed like an even more far-out hope than the prospect of actually getting the lead.</p><p>But then, just as he was in a call with Ann, hovering somewhere in between letting himself suffer (by listening to her stories about what was happening at the screen-tests) and trying to find peace of mind (by being a good friend and actually loving how Ann was relying on him), he got the call.</p><p>An additional scene he had to get in for. A screen-test. And another.</p><p>He doesn’t remember signing his name on the dotted line at the end of the contract, but somewhere at the end of last week, he had done it. When they had asked for his certificate of conduct, he was already saying goodbye to the job, but they never mentioned anything about his criminal record, allowing him to pass.</p><p>He had somehow made it through the audition by trying to impress Akechi, but now that they were supposed to meet regularly on set, his heart was left somersaulting at the mere thought of catching him smiling again. It’d been a while since he wanted to be so close to a person this quickly, and Ann was probably right in her judgement of him.</p><p>He took a sip from his water bottle and looked back at the give-away he had tagged himself and Ann in. Akechi was offering a dine-in experience for one of his fans; he would come over and cook a homemade dinner for them. Ren could already see himself walking up to him the next time they met, asking him if he fancied a home-cooking battle.</p><p>And Ren would win.</p><p>That would be the least of his problems. Because - truth be told - the screen tests had gone much worse than the audition had. He just didn’t seem to get what the director was aiming for, but she kept coming around with new suggestions, trying to make it work. He could see himself getting better just by accepting her directions and pushing himself out of his comfort zone, but it was still so different from what had transpired in the conference room. Where they had held the audition that he had been so sure they wouldn’t call him back.</p><p>He couldn’t show up on set everyday, fail charmingly and expect to get away with it, could he?</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>Of course not.</p><p>The week after he signed the contract he was put into a temporary agency that handled his schedule and other endorsements.he first appointments were put into his calendar, and he scrambled to rearrange his internship hours to accommodate them <em>and</em> still make time for some shifts at LeBlanc.</p><p>From what Ann had heard from other acting friends, he had expected them to have read-throughs of the episodes first, maybe walk-ins to take his measurements for the costume department, but the first big block wasn’t called anything like that.</p><p>Acting lesson (Teacher: Shinjiro Aragaki) -</p><p>Well. So much for diving into it headfirst without knowing anything.</p><p>At least Ann got the same invitation, so he knew it was a group exercise, but he was still nervous about it. The teacher, Aragaki-san, seemed to be a real veteran in the world of teaching, with well-known actors attending his workshops, even though his acting experience was rather limited, mostly consisting of theatre pieces he’d done 5 to 7 years ago.</p><p>They were called to a training room close to Okubo station. Ren’s bag was light: He had only packed a comfortable training outfit, his shoes and a water bottle.</p><p>When he arrived, Ann was already standing in the middle of the black vinyl floor, chatting with someone with short blonde hair. Ren didn’t recognize them at first, but when he turned around he definitely felt like he had seen him before.</p><p>“Hi there”, the guy said, but Ren didn’t recognize his voice either, “It’s Masa, from the audition. Remember?”</p><p>“Ah, sorry”, Masa was the guy who was playing Kouji, the delinquent that was one of the best friends of the main character. They even had a joint Line chat with Ann (Phantom Thieves Let’s Go!) but he looked quite different from when he had first met him - the clean black cut was replaced with bright blonde spikes.</p><p>“Don’t worry, I didn’t recognize him at first either”, Ann said, “Thank god they advised against me dyeing my hair, because they wanted Cherry, the girl who turns into Panther, you know, to have pink hair at first, but if I had really done that? I’d be super recognizable in public. I’m gonna use wigs..” She combed through her hair, that she had put into a high ponytail. “If you want to change, there’s a room in the back, but Aragaki-san should come back any minute.”</p><p>He left Ann and Masa with a small thank you and went to the back of the room, where another figure emerged from the ceiling high curtains.</p><p>Akechi wore red track pants and had a matching red jacket around his hips. His upper body was clad in a tight black tank top that showed off toned muscles along his arms and back.</p><p>And then there was —</p><p>“You’re awfully late.” Akechi tilted his head and his little cute ponytail swayed along with it.</p><p>Bliss.</p><p>“Hi”, Ren said and he was surprised that it didn’t sound like more than an exasperated breath. “I’m going to change.”</p><p>And that’s how he left them, forcing himself not to look back again.</p><p>The lesson was just getting started.</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>They started the lesson with some exercises that reminded Ren of stretching and warm-up in sports classes, but they continued with a rhythm game and tried to deform their faces to their heart’s content. Some other students who were also involved with the Persona project but in minor roles joined in as well. He could tell that he wasn’t the only one who was rather distracted by Akechi either.</p><p>Their teacher, Aragaki-san, was a tall, gloomy looking guy, but even though his voice was rough and stern, his instructions were very detailed, careful, and most of all pretty neutral. When they did an exercise where they had to balance a bamboo stick vertically in front of them on only one finger, and the bamboo stick falling down was followed by laughter, he questioned every single person about why they thought that they laughed and what they could learn from that about their own natural reactions, but did not shame them for having laughed in the first place. They were very focused on observing themselves. Not that focussed on paying attention to one another.</p><p>But acting was nothing without reacting, and after 90 minutes had passed and their bodies felt soft, warm and strong, the bamboo sticks were laid aside and the first scene was handed out, a cut from a scene that they were supposed to shoot a few weeks down the line.</p><p>It was a short excerpt from an episode where the Phantom Thieves in their school uniforms were meeting detective Robin Blackheart by chance in a subway hall.</p><p>First Aragaki-san left them alone for a few minutes to read through the script. He came back with two chairs and a roll of white tape. He used it to put lines on the floor to create a makeshift stage and placed the two chairs close to the right line.</p><p>“Let’s start by placing yourselves in the scene. From where would you start?”</p><p>Ann, Masa, Ren and Akechi looked at each other for a moment, waiting for someone to step forward.</p><p>“Robin is entering when they’re already talking, so I’m going to step aside and think about from which direction I should approach them”, Akechi placed himself on the left side of the stage, the script hanging from his fingers behind his back, “It’s written that they meet by chance, but I interpreted it as written in the perspective of the Phantom Thieves. I’m sure Robin followed them for quite a bit and is trying to find the right entry point to make this ‘chance meeting’ happen, so I want to put in as much deliberate thought as he does.”</p><p>Ren stared with his mouth open. He had been so focused on getting what they were talking about in the scene and memorizing his lines that he didn’t even consider thinking about what happened before they <em>entered</em> the scene.</p><p>But Masa caught on, although he was a lot more casual about it. He suggested they enter the scene already talking about something else, than what was going on in the scene.</p><p>“Which station are we at anyway?” Ann asked and searched Ren’s face for an answer.</p><p>“We could imagine we are at Shinjuku”, Ren said, since he assumed all of them knew how the station looked like and the suggestion was met with approval.</p><p>“And we’re just walking in there?”, Ann looked closely at the two chairs, as if they had little speakers hidden in them that would blast out the answers if they just stared hard enough.</p><p>“Don’t be afraid to try it out and see where it’s going”, Aragaki-san said, standing behind the other students who were sitting on the floor to watch the spectacle, “Even though it will take some time to get it right, you’ll get a better feeling for it than if you just talk about it. If you’re ready, tell me, andI will call the scene.”</p><p>Ren checked Ann’s and Masa’s expressions, and they nodded at him. “We’re ready.”</p><p>“And action.”</p><p>“For real, what was that? I say we ditch that creep and try to break in directly.” As promised, Masa ad libbed into the scene, but the topic was actually connected to the text.</p><p>“I’m the victim here”, Ann said, sighing and sinking onto the chair that they imagined was a bench at the train station, “and I won’t let that slip. We’re going to catch that guy!”</p><p>Ren was just supposed to stand around and follow the conversation, but he couldn’t help but notice Akechi walking onto the makeshift stage before he even said his line.</p><p>“Who do we have here? I think we’ve met before. You’re students from Shujin Academy.” His smile was polite and bright. “I’m sure you remember me as well, but I might as well introduce myself again. My name is Robin Blackheart.”</p><p>“What is his problem? We’re not here to boost his ego”, hissed Masa next to him. Even though it was in the script, it kinda threw him off. He hadn’t thought about the contents yet. Boost his ego?</p><p>Akechi looked at him, still smiling. Shit, that was his turn. Akira was stating his name next, so he just had to — “Akira Kurusu.”</p><p>“I know”, Akechi said, holding his gaze, “your opinions on the Phantom Thieves were quite interesting.”</p><p>“Yeah, and we’re still going to support them, no matter what you say, okay?!”, Kouji said next to him, and Ann pulled him back.</p><p>“No need to get so agitated”, Akechi shook his head, “There are many plausible reasons to support the Phantom Thieves. I cannot condemn any civilian that is supporting them. Ultimately, they are just showing up where our criminal justice system is lacking.”</p><p>What? How could Akechi make those lines sound like his character was just coming up with them in a natural flow in the conversation? As his gaze drifted downward, he just now realized that Akechi kept the fingers on one side curled, as if he was gripping something, as if his character was carrying a case …</p><p>“Uhm …”, Ann said behind him. “What do you think, Akira-kun?”</p><p>Wait. Was that her line? What did Akechi say again? He needed a statement to form a reply.</p><p>He looked up at the boy’s face again, and his eyes felt like hardened bronze.</p><p>“Judging by your silence, it seems like it was foolish of me to even consider we had a difference in opinion here. Well then, if you’ll excuse me.”</p><p>And with that sentence he walked past the trio, off the stage.</p><p>Ren looked back at him. Akechi stood still right outside of the white border, visibly relaxing his shoulders.</p><p>“Cut”, Aragaki said, and he felt Ann and Masa letting go of the tension as well, but Ren couldn’t untangle the knot that had formed in his stomach. He felt like his mind was somewhere between completely blank and full overload during the scene and he couldn’t quite process it yet.</p><p>“…” Aragaki walked closer to them, his deep-set eyes darkened, “So, what do you think?”</p><p>Ren felt Ann and Masa looking at him. “I don’t know”, he said, and spewing the truth out was a relief.</p><p>“I actually felt fine as Kouji, but I was a bit lost at the end and I don’t know if it showed. I think it’s cool that Ann tried to improvise when we didn’t get ahead, but maybe Ren wanted to have such a long silence before he said his line?” Masa started to talk as if Ren just had opened the gates for him.</p><p>“Uhn, what?”, Ren asked.</p><p>“Sorry, Ren”, Ann said, sighing, “I was so nervous when the silence built up after Akechi said his line that I just made something up to keep the conversation going.”</p><p>Oh shit. Yes. There was a fair amount of silence, but it wasn’t because Ren took his time. Ren simply forgot where his line was to go. And that single mistake derailed the entire scene.</p><p>“Ann’s reaction felt very natural to me”, Akechi said, walking up to him, “I felt like she created an opportunity to close the scene another way, so I acted on it. Apologies if I overstepped my boundaries.”</p><p>“A little improvisation is fine. We’re not on set after all”, Aragaki said, “Still, for this exercise I ask you to stick to the script so we can work more closely on the details. You failed fantastically this time, so I assure you it will get better as you keep going.”</p><p>As they got back to their positions, Ren went to the script in his head again. He could even remember how the lines were printed on the page, yet why couldn’t he remember once he was involved in the scene?</p><p>He looked at Akechi who was standing on the other side of the makeshift stage, and as he caught his glance, he saw him smiling at him again.</p><p>But this time, it felt like there was just a drop of venom mixed into his lips.</p><p>“If you want some time to look at the script again, tell me.” Aragaki said, but they were already in position, ready to tackle the next attempt. And it was not like he didn’t remember the lines, it was just that they didn’t come out as he was acting. So Ren saw little use in looking at the script again.</p><p>The key had to lie somewhere here, in that train station they imagined. The characters were going to the station after an encounter with an art student that especially put Ann’s character, Cherry, in an uncomfortable position. But they only came in close contact with him because they needed to investigate his teacher. So that was also originally where the conversation was supposed to go, but then Akechi’s character, Robin -</p><p>“And, action”.</p><p>“For real, what was that? I say we ditch that creep and try to break in directly”, the line poured out of Kouji like clay into a casting mould, and Ren already felt caught in déjà-vu.</p><p>“I’m the victim here and I won’t let that slip”, Ann sounded more forceful than last time, sitting down on the bench with a loud thud, “we’re going to catch that guy.”</p><p>Ren decided to nod at her, noticing Akechi’s shape step onto the stage only on the periphery of his vision.</p><p>“Who do we have here? I think we’ve met before. You’re students from Shujin Academy”, he was looking directly at Ren the last time, but now Akechi’s gaze felt more unfocused. Why? “ I’m sure you remember me as well, but I might as well introduce myself again. My name is Robin Blackheart.”</p><p>Ren decided Akira would only realize who Robin is after he introduced himself again, and made a small sound of recognition. Immediately afterwards he doubted that was what Akira really would do.</p><p>“What is his problem? We’re not here to boost his ego.”</p><p>As the leader of the Phantom Thieves Akira probably should’ve had Robin on his mind, keeping an eye on possible dangers. But if Akira didn’t act like he wasn’t recognizing him, he was making himself more suspicious, so maybe Akira did that on purpose to …</p><p>He felt a shiver creeping up on him, like a thin cold finger running down his spine.</p><p>It was the blade of Akechi’s smile.</p><p>“You’re Akira Kurusu, right?”</p><p>Oh. His name. Right, he was supposed to —</p><p>Akechi put his hand to his face, and rubbed his eyes. He repositioned his feet and a little of Robin’s light seemed to take a step back. “I’m sorry, Aragaki-sensei, but I’m afraid I need a bit more preparation for that scene.” Ren realized Akechi still had the fingers of his other hand curled, still holding on to that imaginary attaché case. “At this point there are too many factors that are influencing my acting in a way that makes me unable to guarantee a satisfactory performance.”</p><p>“Thank you for being so honest about it”, Aragaki said, but deep lines drew across his forehead, “We’ll take a short break and come back with a new approach. If there’s anything in particular you’d like to work out, let me know. Even though we did an extensive warm-up, there still might be individual issues that need a closer look.”</p><p>“Nothing in particular”, Akechi said, shaking his head slightly, “I’m sure if we take a breath and investigate the issues one by one, the scene won’t be that overwhelming anymore.”</p><p>As they stepped off the stage to mix in with the other students for the break, Akechi’s words echoed in Ren’s head.</p><p>
  <em>The scene won’t be that overwhelming anymore.</em>
</p><p>He had the sour feeling that Akechi knew full well who had been overwhelmed by everything that’s going on.</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>After the break they’d tried to tackle the scene some more times, but the problems persisted - Ren got lost focusing on something that was not helpful for his acting, the flow got caught up because someone waited too long or didn’t give the lines space to breathe, Ann kept trying to fix stuff by barging in with made-up lines, and Akechi kept a pleasant smile on his face despite all of this. His eyes, which were constantly on Ren or deliberately averted, caused him to turn even more nervous.</p><p>In the end, they decided to scrap that scene for now. Aragaki-sensei reassured them that some days things don’t work out no matter how hard you try and that they didn’t have anything to blame themselves for, but Ren couldn’t help but feel a thin lace of disappointment stitched to his words.</p><p>Their teacher still kept hope alive and well as he introduced the last exercise of the class.</p><p>“We don’t have that much time left, so it’s just a little tool you might like to add to your repertoire”, Aragaki-san said and sat down in front of the students. “It’s a basic exercise you should’ve encountered if you ever had to deal with method acting.”</p><p><em>Method acting. </em>Ren tried to memorize these words so he could look up some stuff to be better prepared next week.</p><p>“First, you need to close your eyes. Now, try to remember a moment in your life that has made you very sad. Try to go back into that moment, what you heard, what you saw, what you felt. And if you can’t remember what you sensed, just try to remember as much as possible.”</p><p>Ren’s mind immediately went to the day his family told him he would be leaving for Tokyo for a year. The day when he realized they weren’t strong enough to keep him and themselves shielded from the dark ripples his bad, false reputation created. Being framed for a crime he didn’t commit was bad. Witnessing the people you expected to have your back no matter what happened letting you down was worse. He knew that this was the best they could do at that very moment, but it still was a shitty thing to do. And it still hurt to think back to it.</p><p>“Now, open your eyes again.”</p><p>Ren was glad to be released, though he still felt a bit off-balance, as if he was thrown out of a moving elevator and still had to take some time to regain composure.</p><p>“I am looking into some very sad faces right now”, Aragaki-san said, and with his words Ren looked around and had to agree - the class looked as if they had been delivered very bad news and everyone was dealing with it in their own way. Masa-kun even had silent tears streaming down his face. Ren wanted to check on Akechi to his side, but he was leaning down slightly, his face hidden by his hair.</p><p>“I am looking into very sad faces”, Aragaki-san repeated himself, “and you haven’t acted at all. It was genuine.”</p><p>A small wave of realization passed through the students and the feeling of excitement dispersed the sadness that had been weighing them down.</p><p>“So just by being able to recall your own history you will be able to show something to the audience and get some tools to use for your character”, Aragaki-san said, “and now, let’s imagine a happy moment.”</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>As they were throwing their stuff together and the students leaving told Aragaki-san goodbye, Ann chatted a bit with Ren as he put his shoes on. “I can’t believe we really did that!” She said and lifted her fists, excited. “Like, I thought when we failed the train scene he was super mad as us, but when he gave us that tip at the end … I feel like he really wants us to explore our own potential. That is kinda new for me. I feel like modeling is all about what you are bringing to the table anyway, not pushing your boundaries. Or maybe just not in the fashion magazines I’m participating in, I dunno.”</p><p>It was kind of Ann to say that <em>they failed</em> when it should’ve been <em>Ren failed</em> - he was the one who didn’t have his lines ready and wasn’t able to remember what was going on, but it could be that Ann still looked at the scene as a group effort that failed. It seems like Ren was slipping through the cracks whenever he allowed himself a mishap and his environment filled the cracks with wild imagination - stories in which Ren did accomplish something even though he just lived and breathed and maybe broke a thing or two.</p><p>But he seemed to have found a person that would not be fooled that easily.</p><p>Akechi was standing at the exit with Aragaki-san, still discussing something. Aragaki-san kept his stern expression, but as he towered over Akechi there was something like genuine concern prying out from his eyes. Akechi was standing in front of him with one hand on his hips, pretty indifferent, still a body made from delicate lines of verve with a perfect smile on top.</p><p>“Where did he say that exercise was? Method acting?”Ann asked as they went towards the door.</p><p>Ren nodded, and as he and Ann passed Akechi, he excused himself and followed them along outside.</p><p>“You were talking about method acting? As much as I love theoretical frameworks, acting is best learned by trying to accomplish the feat itself”, Akechi turned his head towards Ren. “But if you’re looking to build character chemistry, I can recommend Ivana Chubbuck. I’m planning to reread her book myself sometime. It might be useful for Akira and Robin’s interactions as well.”</p><p>They went down the stairwell of the building, the echoes of their steps fading into one another.</p><p>“I’ll write it down. Ivana Chubbuck?”</p><p>“Yes. Though I just remembered her takes on character chemistry were rather romance-focused.”</p><p>“Did you talk about her with Aragaki-san?”, asked Ren.</p><p>“No. I had some questions about the exercises and Aragaki-san was kind enough to explain them to me. But he will probably incorporate some Chubbuck-techniques in our next lessons anyway”, Akechi said, but instead of looking at Ren, he was staring ahead.</p><p>“I really expected Aragaki-san to be much more harsh”, Ann said as they stepped out onto the street, the last rays of sunlight lining the tops of the two-story building around them with soft pink. “I mean, look at him!”</p><p>Akechi chuckled. “You really shouldn’t judge someone by looks alone, Ann-chan.”</p><p>“That’s easy to say for someone as popular as you. How many entries do you have for the give away now? 40,000?”</p><p>“40,000? I sincerely hope I don’t have to designate the winner myself.”</p><p>“Well”, Ann said, looking at Ren with a huge grin on her face, “I know someone nice who entered, if you want some help.”</p><p>They stopped at a vending machine because Ann wanted something to drink, and Ren realized he also wanted some cold coffee to fight the heat from today’s lesson.</p><p>“I’m afraid I would face terrible backlash if my fans were to discover I chose the winner by such methods”, Akechi said and Ann sighed loudly, “I could offer a follow-back though, if you’d like.” Ren felt Akechi’s eyes searching his, and he allowed himself to be drawn into them. “Right, <em>ProbablyGonnaImproviseIDK</em>?”</p><p>Ren felt the heat rising to his cheeks, and put a hand to his neck. “You got me.”</p><p>Akechi laughed. “Oh my, you don’t have to feel bad about it. I got a notification that Ann-chan was tagged since I’m following her, and with that information it was rather easy to put the remaining pieces together.”</p><p>“I just can’t pass up a chance for a home-cooked dinner.”</p><p>Ann’s can of juice fell into the output tray with a loud clunk.</p><p>“I’m sure I could arrange that if you’re so curious.”</p><p>Ren held his gaze, searching for a sign to determine how serious this invitation was.</p><p>Ann, still settled between them, took a big sip of her juice. “You can’t really invite Ren to your home if you wanna cook yourself. He’s going to take over your kitchen.”</p><p>“I have to admit I had completely forgotten you also had curry at LeBlanc. So I suppose you also cook there? I’m sure it would be very beneficial to learn from someone who has worked in a professional kitchen.”</p><p>“We can use the kitchen any night after the shop is closed”, Ren said, and quickly added something to dampen his eagerness, “but if you want to learn professional skills, a lesson from Sojiro would be best.”</p><p>“Sojiro?”</p><p>Ren put his Suica card against the vending machine to pay for his canned coffee. A beverage Sojiro would probably kill him for. “The owner of the café. He pretty much taught me everything I know about coffee and curry.”</p><p>“I see”, Akechi said, his voice just a tad bit thinner than before. Ren wondered if he should’ve just made something up like <em>It Is I The Great Ren That Owns The Café LeBlanc</em>. “Well, if you don’t mind me coming over, I would gladly join you for a little cooking battle.”</p><p>“A cooking battle? Prepare to lose.”</p><p>A short laugh, bright and sharp. “If that confidence means you’ll drop your guard, I’ll gladly accept it.” Akechi looked at his wrist watch and into the direction of the train station. “I apologize, but tonight I have some other appointments where I’m expected to be present. Ann-chan, please be so good as to give Ren-san my number. I’ll be expecting you.”</p><p>He excused himself and Ren couldn’t help but look after him as they said goodbye, the can of coffee cold against his skin.</p><p>“He doesn’t always talk like that, you know.” Ann threw her own juice can into the trash and moved next to him, their shoulders touching.</p><p>“What do you mean, <em>like that</em>?”</p><p>“Like <em>Robin Blackheart</em>”, Ann said, and Ren realized that his words had indeed a quite similar rhythm, “If you ask me, I’d say he wants to impress you. I wish <em>my</em> love life was so easy.”</p><p>Ren smiled. He couldn’t help but think it was early to call this part of his love life, but if there was someone who had a knack for sensing things like this evolving, it was definitely Ann. And Ann knew both Ren and Akechi, so he held onto the hope that she was seeing something sparking that he could barely see because he was right in the middle of it.</p><p>When he looked down at the can, he felt his smile grow a bit brighter, feeling like fate had put unavoidable hints in his way.</p><p>Ann started walking towards the station and stretched her arms. “Seems like you got him dancing in the palm of your hand after all.”</p><p>The can of coffee in his hand, Deseo, had a little photograph of their current advertising campaign printed right next to the logo.</p><p>The face of Goro Akechi.</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ann and Ren separated ways when he got off the Yamanote line at Shibuya station while Ann continued on her way home. Blood rushed happily through his veins thanks to the cold can of coffee (even though it tasted horrible), the fact Ann got him Akechi’s contact info (very handsome profile pic) and the fact they’d made plans for their dining-duel (how many days would he need to wait to make a suggestion for the date?)</p><p>He headed for Shibuya Public City Hall - tonight was the open forum of the Shibuya ward council and he had hoped to catch Yoshida after the discussion rounds were done. Yoshida had encouraged him to be more involved after his internship at the kindergarten was over, and he was glad about the opportunity to actually change something in the city (or get a hang of why things don’t change that quickly … or take a close look at the people responsible …) but now that he had that other big new shiny thing demanding his time, he wanted to relay the news himself.</p><p>The forum discussed the usual topics that were part of the conversation lately - but since the general election was coming up the questions turned to much broader themes than usual; not the usual crossroad that needed to be remade at Hatsudai or some new ideas for Miyashita Park. When the talk shifted to an issue Yoshida wasn’t involved in at all - safety in public transportation - he looked around the room and met Ren’s eyes.</p><p>Yoshida seemed to light up a bit and straightened his posture, and Ren felt bad again about needing to let him down. But he had made a decision, and he wanted to stick to it. Maybe he could still somehow endorse Yoshida’s party by becoming a famous actor or something.</p><p>The discussion mostly included some more specific questions about a new campaign and the projects that were related to that (<em>Shibuya - the city that turns differences into strengths</em>), but also the daily waste every citizen was producing (they had been trying to reduce it steadily, but currently the daily average was plateauing around 800g per person). After the discussion ended, Ren walked towards the exit of the hall and stood outside, waiting for Yoshida to pass him.</p><p>“Ren-kun! It’s good to see you. How is the internship going?”</p><p>He should’ve known Yoshida would be so open and curious, but it still caught him off guard. “Uhm … quite good, actually. But …”</p><p>Yoshida put a hand on his shoulder and they walked a little bit further aside the door so as to not disturb the stream of visitors coming out. “I’m expected out drinking tonight, but I can join them later if you want to talk about anything.”</p><p>“That would be great”, Ren said and Yoshida turned to tell a colleague that he would be joining them later.</p><p>They moved down the long corridor of the city hall building until they reached an elevator that only people working on the property used. Since he had been absent from meetings for the youth-movement group for a long time, he was feeling a bit nostalgic as he stepped into the elevator with the navy blue carpet.</p><p>“Things are moving quickly this year”, Yoshida said as he pressed the button for the 5th floor, “I feel like the awareness that this election is important is reaching the youth just as much as the middle-aged people this time. Are your friends bringing politics into conversation by themselves?”</p><p>“They are”, Ren said, thinking about Makoto and Ann’s heated discussions, “but it’s not really about voting or not voting, but much more detailed discussions on some approaches.”</p><p>The lights on the ceiling automatically turned on the moment they stepped out of the elevator. “I’m glad to hear that. Increasing voter turnout is always our number one priority, so I’m happy when that’s checked off and we can focus on actual policies. Though, I would say the policies are where you win them over anyway.”</p><p>Yoshida opened his office door and Ren felt a bit more relaxed as he stepped into the room, sitting down at his usual place in front of Yoshida’s desk, while Yoshida preferred to be standing or walking around while talking to him, ready to grab onto anything that was of interest.</p><p>“So, are there any problems with your internship?”</p><p>“Not really. It’s great”, Ren said, “But I don’t think I can make time to participate in election-related activities this year. That’s why I wanted to apologize.”</p><p>“That’s a shame”, Yoshida said, “but it’s nothing you have to apologize for. Do they want to keep you on at the kindergarten?”</p><p>Ren shook his head. “It’s … uhm … I’ve been cast in a major television series. As the lead.”</p><p>Yoshida looked at him with an expression that he thought must look close to what he had looked like when he got the news.</p><p>“Congratulations, Ren-kun”, he said finally, “I must admit I never knew you were interested in the entertainment industry, though. If you ever encounter any problems, contact me immediately. And tell me the name of the series so I can watch it!” Yoshida clapped his hands. “I’m good with people’s names and policies, but I simply cannot remember media titles.”</p><p>“I’ll write it down,” Ren said and grabbed one of the generic party notebooks and a pen with Yoshida’s logo on it, jotting the title down for him.</p><p>“I’m glad you told me. I know you will do well.”</p><p>“Thanks, Yoshida-san,” Ren replied, still feeling bad about letting him down because of this, but he had knownYoshida would take it well. He had other more pressing matters at hand anyway.</p><p>“Do you mind staying in contact with me or will you be too strapped for time? I still have a favor I would like to ask of you.”</p><p>“I haven’t sold my soul yet, so on days off it should be alright.”</p><p>“Haven’t sold your soul? Then I trust you have checked the whole contract rigorously.”</p><p>“Uhm …”</p><p>“Well, if you run into any problems, feel free to contact me. There are a lot of things producers can do, but there are boundaries determined by laws, so even when they put certain things into the contract, they are not allowed to realize them.”</p><p>“So what did you want to ask me?”</p><p>“Your sister Futaba... is she alright?”</p><p>Ren froze for a second there. “Yes, she is. What about her?”</p><p>“I wanted to ask her to look up something for me.”</p><p>“Ah”, Ren felt a layer of worry dissolve into thin air. Futaba had revealed some nasty things about an opponent of Yoshida’s when Ren told her about him, and even though he didn’t use it in his campaign against them, Yoshida must’ve still remembered that his step-sister possessed some rather unique skills.</p><p>“Have you been following the in-fighting that’s happening in the United Future Party?”</p><p>The United Future Party. He couldn’t say he really cared what happened to them, though he couldn’t help but remember their leader, Shido Masayoshi. “No, sir.”</p><p>“I thought not. Usually it’s a good choice not to spend too much time on parties you are not even interested in … and you don’t want other people exposed to them either”, he smiled, apparently happy with Ren’s decision to keep himself uninformed. “But since they are projected to have a realistic chance of getting some seats in this year’s election, my team has been following their movements more closely .”</p><p>He grabbed a folder from the sideboard and opened it in front of Ren. It was full of copies from newspapers, some articles talking about the same thing but published in different newspapers, a follow-up here and there, but they were all depicting one thing: Important figures from the United Future Party retiring because they admitted malpractice or were involved in some scandal. That didn’t sound all too bad to Ren.</p><p>“You know I’m not a fan of the United Future Party. And I sincerely hope you’re not either” — Ren shook his head again — “but even the United Future Party is divided in different factions. And the factions that have had their leaders exposed again and again in the last months all belonged to the center- and left-wing factions of the party, which leaves us with the so-called ‘right-wing-liberals’ of the party.”</p><p>Yoshida looked up from the newspapers to Ren. He could see where this was going.</p><p>“I will only work with the United Future Party if push comes to shove. But if it happens, a coalition with the United Future Party in the direction it’s going would be the worst. I’ll say it because we’re off the record”, Yoshida said, slipping into his old, passionate self that would sometimes screw up for the sake of honesty, “but the leader of this faction, Shido Masayoshi, is a populist asshole.”</p><p>Ren nodded. He could definitely see where he was coming from.</p><p>“Even Makino-san, a friend of mine who is able to conjure up conspiracies out of anything, didn’t think much of what has happened since it looked just like some internal clashes they were sorting out through these public statements. It’s bad for us, but there’s not much we could do about it. And I do <em>still</em> think it’s best if we concentrate on our own program and policies rather than bothering with the bickering in other parties.”</p><p>Yoshida took the folder and closed it, putting it back on his desk with a sigh.</p><p>“But the other night I was out drinking with a colleague who is a friend of one of the affected politicians. And he told me this friend hadn’t based their decision on some innerparty conflict, but was bribed by someone unrelated to politics.”</p><p>That all sounded very complicated to Ren, but he agreed that this wasn’t how he wanted politicians to make their decisions. Heck, he didn’t want anyone to make decisions in that way.</p><p>“I am currently trying to get into direct contact with a friend of my colleague, but I haven’t been very lucky so far. If I am able to get more information”, he sat down on his chair so he could look straight into his eyes, “would you be willing to help me with the research so we could hopefully put an end to this chaos?”</p><p>As long as there wasa name or a connection that was identifiable, Ren was sure he could get Futaba to find something useful -if she was available. “Of course.”</p><p>“Thank you, Ren”, Yoshida said, “I really mean it. If this affects your current career negatively in any way, or you suspect it could do so, feel free to decline.”</p><p>“I’m not even sure how long I’m going to do this”, Ren replied, “and if helping you means that my chances of a good career are ruined, it wasn’t the right career in the first place.” He didn’t expect anyof what was happening to be revealed to the public anyway - at least nothing regarding Futaba’s and his involvement.</p><p>“I can only repeat how grateful I am. I really want to find the person responsible and improve the situation for everyone involved.”</p><p>“Don’t worry”, Ren said, spinning the pen with Yoshida’s logo between his fingers, thinking of Futaba’s incredible skills, “we will find them.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>On the day of writing this, citizens in Shibuya actually produced 830g of trash per person every day. Their target is 768g. </p><p>Thanks for coming my random fact show where we discuss random facts</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Heroes Never Lose</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Keep your eyes on the camera.”</p><p>Ren scoffed. “I am.”</p><p>“Liar.”</p><p>“Akechi-san, can you lean a bit more against Ren-kun?”, the photographer asked them, moving to one knee to get another angle of the arrangement.</p><p>“Of course”, Akechi let his head sink a bit more against Ren’s shoulder and lifted a finger to his lips.</p><p>It was clear what they were going for with the promo shot. Ren was standing beside him in his Joker outfit, rather tight black clothing that was sure to make the fans excited with the long black coat that came along with it. One side of the coat was pulled up next to Ren by a silver wire to make it look as if it was pulled up by the wind. He wore red gloves and he had to put his hands in a position that made it look like he was adjusting them in front of his body. The only thing left was to look directly into the camera and smirk.</p><p>But of course, the boy couldn’t keep his hands off of Akechi, and Akechi didn’t blame him. He felt like a majestic knight in the white and red outfit with the gold trim they had designed for him, although he thought of Crow’s mask with the beak as hideous at first. He was sure that if he were to appear in a Featherman series like this, he would have to play a half-god that had powers that were way greater than the ones the Feathermen had.</p><p>While Ren was standing, Akechi was placed on a stool, so when he leaned down against Ren his head aligned with his shoulder. They were keeping him small on purpose. Akechi knew that if they just had installed them standing next to each other, their height regulated by heels on their shoes, he would’ve overshadowed Ren easily.</p><p>They were working really hard to keep him from being the hero.</p><p>Instead, they made him the pathetic detective that longed to be with the main character- and they were making this photo shoot rather suggestive. No other character was in direct physical contact with the lead, and even when the message was supposed to be that he was getting close to the lead to reveal his identity, this method told a very clear story.</p><p>“Alright, looking good! Ren-kun, keep staring ahead. Akechi-kun, please shift your upper body a bit more towards Ren-kun and still keep looking at the camera, put your left hand on your breast. You can keep the right hand loose on the side, we won’t see it anyway if you’re turned like this.”</p><p>Akechi shifted the position without complaining, though this was rather straining on his hips and lower back since he was supposed to keep his legs in the same position. He got a good look at Ren, who was still trying very hard to look towards the camera the whole time before he imagined the audience in the place of the photographer, trying to cut through the lens with his eyes.</p><p>He could tell Ren was shaking just slightly next to him, his body probably unaccustomed to staying in a position like this for a long period of time, and decided to be kind just once. It would serve him in the long run. He put his free right hand against the small of Ren’s back.</p><p>The sound that left Ren was small yet distressed, but he immediately straightened his posture</p><p>“Relax. Keep your eyes focused on the camera”, Akechi said, letting his fingers paint small circles, collecting the warmth Ren was radiating from underneath his coat. “The hero needs to be acting, not reacting. Even you looking at the camera is a threat. A step forward.”</p><p>Akechi would’ve assumed Ren turned to ice if it weren’t for the audible huff that left his nose.</p><p>“Good. Keep looking at the camera. Imagine the criminal you came for. Heroes never back down”, he said as softly as possible. The photographer hadn’t complained about his lips moving yet, and he wanted to keep it that way.</p><p>“Nice, Ren-kun! Keep it going!”, the photographer said, and Akechi felt the excitement and relief that had been mixed into Ren’s smile as the photographer took the next shots.</p><p>They kept still for a few seconds, an invigorating kind of concentration between them, and Akechi even stopped his circles, instead letting his hand press flat against Ren’s back, building pressure.</p><p>“Thank you. We got it!”</p><p>Akechi let go of Ren and joined the team in applauding themselves for a successful shot.</p><p>Immediately after, the team scrambled to set up another scene, a classroom set-up for a shot of Ann, Masa and Ren. Akechi was being dismissed and he was glad for some time until he had to show up at Sae’s office to write up some reports for her, but he still had to get out of that costume.</p><p>He walked to his changing room and unbuttoned the front of his jacket, keeping his body turned away from the mirror that sat in front, frequently used by the make-up artists to spice their hair and faces up. He didn’t feel like looking at himself as he lost the magic that this costume brought onto him. He wondered if they would let him keep it if he put enough money on the table. The rent in Tokyo and his agency fee was still eating up most of his wages, but he still should have some left over from the coffee-campaign. Then, of course, there was the animal hospital that wanted his help. He couldn’t imagine them being able to spare a lot, though.</p><p>He heard a knock on his door and quickly slipped into his own button down, a dark red that accentuated the color of his eyes.</p><p>“It’s me”, Ren said.</p><p>“Come in.”</p><p>Ren opened the door just a bit and stuck his head into the room. His face was still in Joker make-up, but from the neck down it was clear that they’d already put him into the Shujin uniform. The first thing that came to Akechi’s mind was that it was not very hero-like.</p><p>“I just wanted to say thank you.”</p><p>“I don’t think I should be the target of your gratitude”, Akechi said.</p><p>“I don’t know what you did”, Ren said, eyes hidden by the dark curls of his hair, “but it helped.”</p><p><em>I don’t know what you did? </em>He was a bad liar. Akechi was stirring him up, throwing his feelings around so they could settle in the way he wanted them to. “That’s nothing to be grateful for. We need our leader to set an excellent example for us to follow, after all.”</p><p>“I will try my best”, Ren said, closing the conversation.</p><p>“Ren-san, have you looked up Chubbuck?”, the words pushed through the little opening that door left.</p><p>“Not yet”, he said, waiting.</p><p>“That’s too bad. I was hoping to discuss some of her suggestions with you, but when we have our dining duel …”, he trailed off, an image of Ren cooking in his Joker costume spilling into his head, tasting a drink he’d prepared. “I expect you to be informed then.”</p><p>“Sure”, Ren said, his slight smile vanishing as he closed the door.</p><p>Akechi excused himself with a small wave of his hand and closed the door of his room. Being with Ren always filled him with a kind of fuzzy energy. Most of it he knew was the rage that he got the lead, a hungry monster he had to keep in check to stay focused. But there was also the satisfaction of seeing Ren failing, getting stuck on the edges of his work, and knowing that he had the power to remove the rug under Ren’s feet, and push him down into the abyss.</p><p>And there was his inability to act on it, the voice telling his heart to be patient, waiting for Ren to get higher so he could fall even further. It was not as inevitable as with Shido - these feelings towards Ren were peppered with curiosity, the desire to see him go further,leading him down a path from which he couldn't recover.</p><p>But for now Akechi had his own path laid out of him, the next station announcing itself with a red blinking light in the midst.</p><p>He looked at his phone and sure enough, the winner of his giveaway already replied to him. He pulled up his notifications and was met with excited emojis and repeated gratitude. It was a young girl that had just entered high school. She had given him a few dates she would be available so he could come over and cook dinner for her family. He replied that he was glad that she was so proactive in suggesting dates.</p><p>
  <em>And please make sure that your parents are also home when I come over to cook, I want your whole family to enjoy my meal and forget about their everyday hassle. 🧡</em>
</p><p>She immediately replied that he could rest assured because of course her mom and dad didn’t want to pass this chance up.</p><p>He sincerely hoped she would stick to her promise. After all, the whole reason he set this up so he could get his hands on her father.</p><p>A train conductor.</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>Akechi started his next day early. His call time was at five because they wanted to get some shots in the light of dawn, and at eight the light would be already way too bright and warm for the atmosphere Yukari was going for. Afterwards they continued to shoot some transition shots they could insert pretty much anywhere, but Akechi still tried to suggest some emotional states for him to portray that would fit even better with certain parts in the story. He wanted Robin to be a character so rich you couldn’t keep your eyes off of him the moment he entered the screen. Even if the writers didn’t seem to know it yet, a character like this couldn’t possibly be a villain. Right?</p><p>When he got onto his bicycle to head to acting class in the evening, his feet already ached from walking up and down the streets so many times. The sun hadn’t even set and his body was already giving up on him. He had to think of some countermeasures once he had a little space to breathe.</p><p>The training room was already alive with the excited buzz of students talking. Akechi looked around after greeting Ann, and just as he thought that Ren must’ve been too scared to show his face in another class, the curtain where they changed into their training outfits opened. Ren walked into the room, a girl with brown, fluffy hair and a similar fluffy appearance following him.</p><p>Akechi felt like she had seen her before, but he couldn’t remember her name.</p><p>“Nice to meet you. I’m Haru. Ren already told me a lot about you”, she smiled at him and Akechi searched for Ren’s eyes, ready to drive a knife through his belly. He hoped he didn’t create a false impression.</p><p>Ren walked right past them towards Masa and was replaced with Aragaki-san walking up to them. Akechi wondered if he was ignoring him on purpose or he just had something urgent to talk to Masa about.</p><p>“You’re Ren’s friend? Welcome”, Aragaki-san said to the girl, “He said you’d tell me yourself why you want to take an acting lesson?”</p><p>“Yes. Well …” She took some time to collect herself before continuing, “My father’s company is planning to broaden their social media presence with faces that are actually working there. So I was asked to make more media appearances, but …”, a small smile moved through her face, a curious bow that reminded Akechi of Ren when he was vibrant and vulnerable. “… I’m not comfortable with that yet, and Ren said acting lessons could be a real life-changer when it came to self-confidence in front of cameras and what not, so I thought I’d go ahead and apply!”</p><p>What a clown. The only moments Ren showed self-confidence last time was in admitting that he didn’t know, in coming up to the stage again and again, knowing that he would fail. He was kinda envious about how oblivious he was. But it seemed like everyone agreed that he was oblivious in a good way and decided to support him. For some people, it was really easy to get help from others. They just had to exist.</p><p>Akechi felt his jaw clenching.</p><p>“You won’t be disappointed”, Aragaki-san’s face had the hint of a smile, and Akechi felt himself wishing it would be directed at him. “Acting can really transform your mind. Feel free to join us and if you still have questions, just ask me anytime. I’m leaving you two to get acquainted.”</p><p>“So you’re Haru?”The moment he spoke her name, his mind put the pieces together. Okumura. Haru Okumura. From Okumura foods. “I’m very pleased to meet you. My name is Akechi and I’m playing the role of Robin Blackheart in the series Persona: Revelations.”</p><p>“Wow, you already sound like you’re on TV”, Haru said, looking up at him, “I’m looking forward to working with you in that class. I have to admit I’m a bit nervous.”</p><p>Akechi wanted to punch her into the face for her comment, but he still found a way to send out a small chuckle. “Oh, I’m sure I sound like I’m on TV because you’re used to hearing people like me speak. I’m sure you're dealing with a lot of media people on a daily basis.”</p><p>“Hm …”, Haru looked away, and Akechi decided he needed to be more careful with the hooks he laid out for her. “I’m not sure. There is still potential for growth, and I’m here to grow.”</p><p>Aragaki-sensei called out to the students to assemble in a circle. He had put out some bamboo sticks from the material storage box again.</p><p>As they did last week, they started out the lesson trying to balance their sticks vertically on their fingers. Even rather fit people who felt like their coordination was pretty good had problems keeping them up for more than 30 seconds, but Aragaki-san added hint after hint that helped them carry them through the room for longer and longer periods of time.</p><p>Of course, every time Ren’s stick slipped from his fingers, he <em>had</em> to catch it again and swing it around like a circus artist or something. Akechi might’ve rolled his eyes too hard one time, because soon he felt the bamboo stick brush up against Akechi’s shoulder when Ren let it slip.</p><p>“Stop doing that”, Akechi said when the bamboo stick moved against his skin for the third time.</p><p>“Sorry, I can’t help being so...” Ren let the stick wobble on purpose, “...bad at this!” The stick fell to the floor, clattering loudly. Ren picked up the stick bashfully, but when he looked up and his eyes met Akechi’s, they were sly, cut gems set into the face of a trickster.</p><p>Well, he really seemed to enjoy getting into that Joker-like fashion. <em>Great for him! Absolutely great! </em>The success from yesterday’s photoshoot must’ve gotten to him. Or he just decided to take on another approach today that included being a self-assured ass after getting a boost from ignoring Akechi when he came in. Akechi promised himself to capitalize on the next opportunity to wipe the smug smile off his face.</p><p>Unfortunately, Ren seemed a bit more composed during the next exercises and Akechi didn’t find a sweet spot to make him trip, but it helped him to get more focused on his own bodily sensations, making way for the Robin he conjured in his head to push through. If he managed to act in a mind-blowing fashion, that was sure to convince the Okumura girl to stay invested in him as well.</p><p>Just when his body felt light and loose after the exercises, ready to act and react to anything that’s being thrown at him, Aragaki-sensei said they wouldn’t act out a scene today, but instead focus on another exercise.</p><p>“First, pick a partner for the exercise.” Akechi looked towards Ren and already felt the pull between them, but he tore his mind away and walked towards Haru. She sighed in relief and walked next to him, watching the other people teaming up. Ren’s partner for the exercise was Masa, while Ann had been approached by a girl with a long dark braid he didn’t recognize.</p><p>Aragaki looked at the pairs that had lined up on one side of the room. They were an even number, so nobody was left out.</p><p>“The exercise is pretty simple. It’s about being willing to get intimate while still keeping track of your boundaries. When we act, we are often forced to confront situations with partners that we wouldn’t act out like this in real life.”</p><p>Akechi didn’t get what he was aiming at. There will always be situations in acting you wouldn’t encounter in real life. That was what made it compelling and hard.</p><p>Aragaki began walking along the line of students. “Especially when the work on set is hectic and you’re hard-pressed for success … or when you’re pressuring yourself.” He stopped for a second to look at Akechi. <em>What the fuck do you want? </em>he thought, smiling at him as if he was actually looking forward to whatever exercise he was making up now.</p><p>He walked on. “It can happen that you lose track of your own boundaries, what you’re willing to do and what you will feel bad for afterwards. It’s important to get to know yourself before you step into that minefield.”</p><p>Aragaki stood aside, gesturing with his hands towards the open space.</p><p>“And all things aside, you can only act truthfully if you’ve faced your own truths.”</p><p>The student pairs moved into it, and Haru and Akechi took a position close to the window.</p><p>“One of you will lie down on the floor. Then, your partner will touch you somewhere on your body. Depending on how you feel about the touch, you will say “green” if you allow the touch, “yellow” if you start to get uncomfortable or it gets too close to a region of your body you don’t want to be touched, and “red” if you don't want to be touched there. Your partner needs to respect your answers and I expect you to pull back if you ever hear a yellow. Alright? If I notice any misconduct, I will kick you out.” His face darkened. “And you can be happy if you never see my face again. Of course, if anyone is uncomfortable with the exercise, feel free to tell me and we’ll find something else for you to do. For the rest: Trust your instincts and listen to your body. Go.”</p><p>Already lowering down, Akechi and Haru went to their knees. “So, who goes first?”, he asked, putting his hands on his thighs.</p><p>“Go ahead and lie down”, Haru said. Akechi supposed it was just fair for the taller one to be put into his place ahead of the weak one, and so he lied down, pressing his back flat against the black vinyl floor. His ponytail distracted him a bit as it was pushed against the ground, so he removed the tie and put it over his wrist.</p><p>Supporting her upper body with her arms, Haru bent over him to look at him closely, her fluffy hair dispersing the strong light. Akechi closed his eyes as he felt her presence draw closer, but even after what felt like an eternity, she still hadn’t touched him.</p><p>“Is something the matter?” Akechi heard the other pairs already going through the motions, shades of yellow and green thrown around the room.</p><p>“I’m thinking about where to touch you first.”</p><p>“Go ahead. I won’t mind.”</p><p>Her fingers settled on his arm. He froze against the light tickle, a feather with some weight behind it. He felt himself exhaling slowly, as if it was much heavier.</p><p>“Green”, he said.</p><p>Haru chuckled and Akechi opened his eyes. “What?”</p><p>“Sorry, I really shouldn’t have done that. But when I touched you, you made a small, very cute sound. Like a little mouse.”</p><p>“Like a …”, Akechi sat up, supported by his elbows. He took a moment to look around at the other teams. Some did the activity with more care, some a bit faster, but they all seemed to advance much quicker than Akechi and Haru. “Should we switch?”</p><p>Haru shook her head. “I would like to continue for a bit, if that’s okay with you.”</p><p>“Of course”, Akechi said and laid down again, keeping his eyes open this time, staring into the yellow light. He had to focus on something to keep his body still; it was as if Haru’s small touch had soldered parts of Akechi together that kept a restless current running through his limbs.</p><p>Haru continued to caress his arm, and he felt his fingers stiffen.</p><p>“You have nice skin, Akechi-san. I’d like to be more presentable as well. Do you have any products you can recommend?”</p><p>The words helped him uncover his urges. An urge to shove her away, and it was growing. “No. But you shouldn’t worry about things like that. You cannot beat society’s expectations anyway.”</p><p>“Hm … I guess you’re right. Still, I’d like to feel better for myself.” Haru sounded sad. His words might’ve been a bit too sour. He had to engage with Haru’s possibility of becoming a media-savvy entrepreneur, not work against it.</p><p>She was running her fingernails over the inside of his elbow. “Green'', he said again, trying to drown out the voices of the other students that poured into his ear. “Yellow”, “Green”, “Green”, “Red”, “Yellow”, the heartfelt laugh of Ren, “Green'', “Green”, “Yellow”.</p><p>Haru was still insistent on caressing his arm. He didn’t want to risk spoiling her mood further by pushing her to touch somewhere else. The thought made him realize that the one that was touching was also figuring out their own boundaries of being willing to touch someone else.</p><p>He should’ve gone with Ren after all.</p><p>Haru just held her hand flatly against his biceps, breathing and waiting. A shadow passed over them like a tower, tall and looming.</p><p>“How is it going?”</p><p>Akechi couldn’t tell what Aragaki’s expression was, his face a dark orb with wild hair against the bright light.</p><p>“We are exploring our boundaries”, Akechi said.</p><p>“This is your green?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“You seem tense,” Aragaki said, “don’t be afraid to say how you really feel.”</p><p>Akechi felt the voices of the other students die down. “I’m not”, Akechi said, still looking up, feeling like a stone that wouldn’t be broken by a mere jab like this.</p><p>He felt his lips pressing together as Aragaki-san settled down on the side next to him where Haru didn’t sit.</p><p>“Think about who you’re doing a favor with this.”</p><p>“Myself,” Akechi said, painfully slow, so the goddamn teacher would understand that there wasn't a problem. “I am setting boundaries for myself.”</p><p>A hand enclosed his wrist like a shackle, pulling him up at the arm, fast and painful.</p><p>“No!” Akechi yelped, unable to escape the reflex.</p><p>The hand let him go and he fell against the floor, elbows crashing against the vinyl. He cursed under his breath and looked to his side.</p><p>“What was that?”</p><p>Aragaki-san said nothing, just looked at him with a blank stare. No, it wasn’t exactly blank. He was looking down on him with something like pity.</p><p>Akechi fought the urge to curl his hand into a fist, let it land square in the face of that so-called teacher.</p><p>“Meet me before you leave class”, Aragaki-san said calmly and stood up.</p><p>Only now, as Aragaki-san looked around them and dismissed the other pairs, Akechi realized that they had stopped their motions and had been watching them.</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>Haru said next to him, sweet and sincere. An apple ripe for picking.</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>“For trusting me to respect your boundaries”, she said and smiled at him.</p><p>He couldn’t accept her lie easily, as white as it was. It was as if she knew that he was planning to ruin her life in a few weeks. As if she was trying to guilt-trip him into giving up on his plans, asking him to find something like a conscience.</p><p>But he wouldn’t slip up. This was just life playing a trick on him, trying to make him think people are just what they seem.</p><p>“I see”, Akechi said and they both stood up, rising into the spotlight the whispering students around them created. “Thank you for respecting them, then.”</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>While he was changing out of his training outfit, it was weirdly calm around him, like no one dared to approach him, even though he kept his smile easy and inviting. Or at least he thought of it that way. His hands moved a lot slower than other days, as if he was just learning how to use them. His limbs felt heavy, and yet he felt like he was searching for a release for the strange energy that was still buzzing through him. The other students left the changing room one by one, and he still had his jacket hanging around his hips. He didn’t even notice when Ren left.</p><p>The only thing that pulled his attention away from himself was Haru speaking on her phone. Akechi had experienced many people talking about sensitive information over their phones, and who’s to say she learned to be cautious? It ended up just being a bit of banter with someone named Makoto, a promise to meet, a friend or a lover.</p><p>He rubbed his wrist. He could still feel Aragaki-san’s cold, big fingers closing around it, and his face flushed with shame. Why did he yell “no”? Why couldn’t he simply say “red” like he was supposed to?</p><p>It was so easy, yet he failed. He bit back a frustrated sound.</p><p>The curtain opened a little. “Akechi-kun, should I wait for you?” It was the concerned voice of Ann.</p><p>Akechi shook his head. “Go ahead without me. Call time is at six-thirty.”</p><p>“I know. It’s way too early for me. But …” Ann moved her eyes around the room. “You can still write to me, okay? This lesson was pretty weird.”</p><p>“Weird? I guess we still need to get used to training like this, but I wouldn’t exactly call it weird” Akechi said, trying to sound as reassuring as possible, “but if there is something troubling you, tell me and I’ll make sure we can get rid of it.”</p><p>Ann let out a big sigh and stepped into the room. “I knew it. You are mad.”</p><p>Akechi pulled his shirt over his head. “Not at you.”</p><p>“Akechi-kun … I know when you’re preparing to go savage. But I really wish it was directed at another annoying stranger, not our acting teacher.”</p><p>“I haven’t done anything yet. But I wish I did.” He let some bitterness spill into his words - if Ann knew him that well, she could handle it. “Be honest. Has he taught us anything useful so far?”</p><p>The lessons felt more like driving cattle back into their cages, making them realize their limits, spitting on them for trying to get out. In the first lesson Akechi had actively worked on making the scene hard for Ren, but seeing as the lesson came to be <em>this</em> dissatisfactory a second time, he felt like he just strengthened the seeds of doubt Aragaki had sown.</p><p>“Actually, yeah …” Ann turned around, ready to leave. “It might not be anything special for a seasoned actor like you, but I feel like I’ve learned a lot already.” She looked back at him again, but the second their eyes met, she turned away, struck by an unseen force. “See you tomorrow, Akechi-kun.”</p><p>Akechi felt hollow as the sound of her steps got smaller and smaller. It was foolish of him to think of Ann as anything but a colleague to exchange silly gossip with, after all.</p><p>He continued to put his clothes on and finally went back into the empty hall.</p><p>Empty, save for Aragaki-san leaning against the wall next to the door, staring at him.</p><p>“You’re still here?”, he asked.</p><p>“I just had to take a bit longer to put in all of my belongings. You don’t have to feel obligated to talk to me.” Akechi had hoped Aragaki-san would simply forget about talking to him if he took long enough, but it seems this time he was not as lucky.</p><p>“Nah, that’s not it.”</p><p>Aragaki-san’s tone was sharper than he expected, and Akechi looked up from his phone.</p><p>“Today must have taken a toll on you.”</p><p>Akechi let out a small laugh. He needed to be less obvious. Or maybe Aragaki-san was really just one of those acting teachers that liked to make their students feel like something happened even though nothing did, causing more confusion than necessary.</p><p>“The touch-exercise is just very new to me. I’m sure we will get used to it.” He pulled on his gloves, glad for the familiar leather hiding his shaking fingers. “As for now, I need to stick to my old acting approach for Robin. I can’t make big experiments during production, but I’ll gladly take those tips onto the next series.”</p><p>“Do you remember what we talked about last time?”</p><p>A sharp sting. “Of course I do. As I said, the sense-memory exercise is very different from my usual approach, that’s why it didn’t work for me. But I’ll make sure to include it in my self-study so I can deliver satisfactory results.”</p><p>“I couldn’t care less about you delivering results”, Aragaki said.</p><p>“Well, I do care about presenting a respectable performance that makes my character tangible and the story compelling.” Akechi felt like he could hold his own in this conversation. But that was because it was something Robin would say. “It is less about me and more about making the material work.”</p><p>“I asked you about the sense-memory exercise because I have seen faces like yours. Faces that are unable to show what is going on inside of them because they can’t access it. Their body isn’t allowing it because it is too excruciating to face.”</p><p>Akechi’s mouth turned dry. That was exactly what was happening with him in the sense-memory exercise. His brain went into overload, unable to access anything that could be called a sad memory.</p><p>Or a happy memory, for that matter.</p><p>“I know what it’s like to be afraid of what you’ve done. Of what you’re capable of.” Aragaki-san’s eyes left him for a second, staring into a point that was much further away than this room. “What the world makes you do. You have to understand that before you can move forward.”</p><p>Akechi shook his head. “That is unnecessary. I've chosen my own path. That's all there is to it.”</p><p>“Look, I don't know your life, but let me just say this. I've done a lot of bad shit. Wish I could undo some of it. But since I can't, I try to live with no regrets."</p><p>Akechi stood still for a second, waiting for an answer to come up. But there was that wall again; a curtain of iron pulling around his mind. The only thing able to move were his feet where it didn’t reach, walking towards the door.</p><p>He turned around one more time, spine bending into a perfect, polite bow before coming up again. "I really am sorry ... But I don't understand why you are telling me this."</p><p>Aragaki-san held his gaze. He lifted his eyebrows, but Akechi refused to say anything more.</p><p>"Well, that's all. See ya next week."</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>As the door behind him fell closed with a loud <em>bang</em>, Akechi felt as if the strings that held him together were cut off in one swift motion.</p><p>The pressure swelling under his skin threatened to crawl out - his body was a sea, with millions of shipwrecks struggling to get to the surface, pulling his limbs apart at their seams.</p><p>He felt his breath quicken, eyes darting around his room. No.</p><p>The face of Featherman Red stared back at him. Yes.</p><p>It merged into the face of Ren.</p><p>No.</p><p>Something else. Push it away. Okumura. The Okumura girl. He could use that.</p><p>He pulled out his laptop and opened the files he had collected on the Okumura group. The company was known as a black kigyou, a company that engaged in various illegal practices and didn’t care about the health of its staff. Shido’s people had been looking for a way to use that information to their advantage, but Ooe suspected that the effect of the revelation wouldn’t be big enough and that it would be nothing you could pressure Okumura about, as it was pretty much an open secret. That’s where Haru came in.</p><p>As he stared down at the screen, the texts and tables started to blur. There was a dull pain emerging from the back of his neck, a hand pressing his head down.</p><p>A family member like Haru might provide some more opportunities to tackle the issue. Find out about other malpractices, find out private info about Okumura that would put him into dismay, find out something about Haru that Akechi could bribe him with if it was revealed to the public, or use Haru in some other way against him.</p><p>He put one hand over his neck, pressing against the pain to alleviate it, but it just seemed to shift to the front of his head. His tongue was numb and heavy in his mouth, a taste like dust on its tip. Why now?</p><p>There were three images he carried around. They’ve been around long enough to make some dents in his body that couldn’t be repaired. Pictures that assaulted him when he was empty, in between the spaces when he breathed. When he was occupied, they were a frequent visitor, but they didn’t do more than walk past the museum of his thoughts.</p><p>He held his fingers up to his lips, bit into them. Why didn’t Ren talk to him today? Did he even want Ren talking to him? No, he hated Ren. But he wanted Ren to talk to him so he could get closer to him, to strike him down.</p><p>Akechi sank down in front of the laptop, the skin of his fingers still between his teeth. On the wall next to him was a poster of one of the early Featherman Series. The main character held up a ray gun. Akechi knew he still had the toy model somewhere around. It had to be.</p><p>He let go of his index finger, looking at the new dents in them like guiding marks for a way forward. He suddenly felt like vomiting.</p><p>Slowly, he rose to his feet and walked towards the bathroom, the room swaying with his steps.</p><p>He didn’t bother to flick the lights on as he put one hand to the cold tiles, increasing pressure with every breath so he could feel the pain of resistance.</p><p>He saw himself standing in a black void, a single white spot on him. The images he saw were never realistic, they were completely fictional, yet they were whole, like a vision of a lucid dream that inhabited his body. Parasites. From the void, he started running. He was running away, but there was no way to know from what.</p><p>With every step he took, he shed his skin. Flaps of meat pulled away from him, fell down to the floor without a sound, vanished as if they’d never been there in the first place. Only his own breathing swelled, until it had to vanish with the last speck of his bones as they disappeared into the void.</p><p>The second image was the hands. They were the ones that accompanied him the most lately, thousands of fingers tearing at his limbs, pulling him apart with force, calling his name in a steady rhythm.</p><p>
  <em>Akechi. Akechi. Akechi. Akechi. Akechi. Akechi. Akechi.</em>
</p><p>There was no place for his own words.</p><p>
  <em>Akechi. Akechi. Akechi. Akechi. Akechi. Akechi. Akechi.</em>
</p><p>No place for his own thoughts.</p><p>
  <em>Akechi. Akechi. Akechi. Akechi. Akechi. Akechi. Akechi.</em>
</p><p>He didn’t know how his skin felt like when it was only the wind grazing it.</p><p>The nails cut in deep.</p><p>
  <em>Akechi. Akechi. AkeCHI—</em>
</p><p>The third picture.</p><p>He was alone.</p><p>“Not<em> NOW!</em>”</p><p>His own voice echoed back from the tiles.</p><p>The scream had done it. Heroes never lost. He couldn’t help but smile.</p><p>He had sunken onto the floor, his clothes sticky with sweat. His breathing was heavy and unbearable. But he was still the stronger one. And he would continue to prove his dominance. He hummed a tune, savoured in how it flew back to him from his surroundings, much sweeter than a scream. Heroes rose to the occasion.</p><p>He rose along with it, moved back to his room, towards the light blue of the laptop screen, the only light source he allowed.</p><p>He drafted a mail to Ooe, informing him of a possible new connection to Okumura, asking him to provide additional information on his personal life. Heroes keep moving when everyone else gives up. Right after he heard the sharp ping of the sent mail, he opened the texts for tomorrow’s shoot. They would be shooting two scenes involving Robin, one in his Persona outfit. Robin was helping the Phantom Thieves get into a palace, figuring out how to solve the riddles they were encountering in a palace.</p><p>Akechi attached an inner and an outer action to every line, little steps that would bring Robin closer to his goal.</p><p>Heroes will never be the victims.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Another Lesson</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Alternative title: Cooking with Hegel!</p><p>This chapter includes explicit sexual content. If you want to skip it, I recommend moving ahead to the next chapter after the line "It starts with undressing you."</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>I’m alone right now, </em>Akechi’s message read.</p><p>Ren almost spit out the coffee he just poured himself.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Ann asked, looking up from her script.</p><p>“Nothing” Ren said and slipped his phone back into his pocket.</p><p>Ryuji was sitting next to her, fidgeting with the pages of the scene they were working on. “I just don’t get why he acts that way!”</p><p>“Really? I thought you’d understand how Kouji works, he’s pretty much like you.”</p><p>“Like me? No way!”</p><p>After their shooting today Ann had agreed to come over to LeBlanc for a quick coffee and a hearty meal, and they invited Ryuji over as well, since Ann was convinced she could remember her scenes with Kouji much better when she tried to read through them with Ryuji. Ren had to admit, they were kinda similar, just like Ann and her character, Cherry.</p><p>Masa, the actual actor that was portraying Kouji, was the polar opposite of the rowdy character that was Skull - he was a very disciplined young actor, and though he came off as cold sometimes, he was always willing to help. While the acting lessons of the last few weeks pushed Ren over his limits and made him uncomfortable, Yukari, the director, did an excellent job of making him feel like he could do anything on set. And Masa was always providing him with interesting approaches he could use in his acting or thoughts about Joker himself, as if Masa didn’t just get a good grasp on Kouji, but every other character in the script as well.</p><p>Then there was Akechi, undoubtedly an excellent actor, but Ren sometimes didn’t know if he was acting with him or against him. When he entered the scene, he created an irresistible pull, a magic that could throw Ren off or force him to surpass himself. It was the moments where he really felt like Akira, like Joker, facing impossible challenges and searching for ways on how to deal with them.</p><p>When the studio lights turned off, the actor stayed on his mind. He had invited Ren to grab a coffee or hang out at a game center several times now, though they only had very short encounters because the shooting days were long and Akechi still had his work at university. It always had been refreshing, leaving Ren flushed and longing for more, wondering if the tension he felt was just a fleeting piece of his imagination or actually tangible. And even though their meetings had been enjoyable, it never had been as intimate as at the photo shoot, never as intense as during the audition. Never as challenging as shooting another scene as Akira and Robin, as Joker and Crow.</p><p>Now the man’s message blinked on his phone with an attached photo, and his mind made an extra effort to expand on the possibilities of what the photo could include. <em>I’m alone right now.</em></p><p>He excused himself to the bathroom and opened the message, but the photo attached was just a picture of groceries. Ren smiled and wrote a reply.</p><p>
  <em>Come over to LeBlanc? The shop is closed</em>
</p><p>Akechi said when they had their dinner duel he would take some more time for Ren. He sincerely hoped that when they spent a bigger portion of the night together, he would be able to answer some of the questions he had hidden within himself.</p><p>
  <em>I’m on my way.</em>
</p><p>Ren jumped out of the bathroom with a bit more force then intended, prompting Ann and Ryuji to look up to him, baffled. No, there are no cockroaches under the sink this time!</p><p>“I need you to Akechi is.”</p><p>“What?” Ryuji said.</p><p>“I mean, I need you to leave, Akechi is coming over.”</p><p>“Oh. Right.” Ryuji immediately got up and pushed his stool back to the bar. He wasn’t a big fan of Akechi, but Ren suspected it was just because they didn’t have the chance to talk that much yet. In a way, he was very much like Kouji towards Robin.</p><p>Ann, on the other hand, couldn’t contain her excitement. “So the dinner duel is finally happening? You need to tell me <em>everything.”</em></p><p>Ren laughed dryly. “I will.”</p><p>“And send pictures!” Ann poured the last bit of coffee down her throat, put the script back into her bag and followed Ryuji to the door. “See you on set tomorrow!”</p><p>Ren waved them goodbye, and with the sound of the door closing, he was on his feet, scrambling about to get the kitchen and the tables as clean as possible. He collected all the dishes that customers left lying around - he had neglected them because he wanted to spend time with Ann and Ryuji, but obviously the priorities had shifted now. Then he decided the floor needed a good cleaning as well and picked up the broom from the dark corner in the kitchen.</p><p>He collected dust on the ground and recipe ideas in his head, considering making his attic a little more presentable as well, but the dinner was his priority.</p><p>He would win that duel, and even though he knew he would be able to put something together no matter what they had in the fridge, he decided to take a short trip to the grocery store after deciding on cooking Szechuan mapo tofu. Akechi had taken the time to buy groceries as well.</p><p>It was just fair that they both started their duel armed, even though their weapons might be different.</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>Toast, ham, flour, milk, a package of grated cheese, mustard, a stick of butter, nutmeg, herbs, salt.</p><p>“What are you even making?” Ren asked. “The salt we use in LeBlanc is perfectly fine, by the way.”</p><p>Akechi put a piece of cheese on the counter that still had the 2335 yen price tag on its plastic wrapping. They were standing behind the counter, at the spot where Ren usually made coffee for customers, the groceries all lined up for invisible guests.</p><p> “Croque-Monsieur.”</p><p>Croque-Monsieur? Ren was not sure if he just got insulted. Maybe it was just a European saying or something. He was still way too distracted by Akechi’s outfit - he had put his hair up in a small ponytail again and wore a sleek black button up along with very tight, black pants.</p><p>“Wait, is this something about Hegel?”</p><p>Akechi chuckled. “Everything is about Hegel.”</p><p>“Thesis and Antithesis?” What the hell was he babbling about? Why didn’t Ren think of changing his outfit? Could the magic of mapo tofu save him?</p><p>“So you’ve done your research,” Akechi said, though Ren did little more than looking the basics up after they shot the talk show scene. “One slice of the bread will be coated in béchamel sauce, then I will put sliced ham and cheese on the other one. Once I’ve assembled the sandwich, I will sprinkle grated cheese and herbs on top of it before baking.”</p><p>Oh. So it’s the recipe Akechi is making. Ren congratulated himself on being so vague in his answers.</p><p>“It’s easy enough so my fan can learn how to do it herself, but fancy enough to make an excellent impression. After all, her parents will also be there.”</p><p>Herself. So he has chosen a female fan for the giveaway. Ren wondered if he’d share the photos of the dinner or if they’ll keep it private for her sake.</p><p>“I’ll be making mapo tofu,” Ren said. “It shouldn’t take long, about half an hour. And I just need one stovetop.”</p><p>Akechi pulled up the recipe on his phone. “I’m fine with one stovetop as well. But I will try to finish earlier than you.”</p><p>“We get bonus points for speed?” He knew from their game-center outings that Akechi was rather competitive, and Ren <em>did</em> like to challenge him, but he wondered if the kitchen was the right place for shenanigans like that.</p><p>“I’d argue a meal that is quickly prepared has much more benefits than something that takes away a good stretch of your time and attention. But first, you need to tell me where the kitchen utensils are.”</p><p>Ren showed him where to find everything he should need, creating a plan for how to cook his mapo tofu most efficiently along with it. “When you taste my mapo tofu, you will wish you’d have put in some more minutes for taste.” He couldn’t help but smirk.</p><p>“Oh really? Then I’ll be looking forward to it.”</p><p>He wouldn’t be disappointed. Ren was glad to finally have something to offer that he felt confident in. He entered 30:00 on the kitchen timer, locked eyes with Akechi and hit “START”.</p><p>Akechi immediately rushed towards a shelf Ren just showed him to take out a cutting board and a knife, while Ren decided to gently place a bowl in front of himself, starting to mix the different pastes and spices he needed as base for the mapo.</p><p>The utensils Akechi had brought out remained abandoned while he tried to light up a stove, struggling with the gas to get the fire going.</p><p>“Let me,” Ren said and opened his hand, ready to take the lighter. “Your persona doesn’t know any agi skills.”</p><p>“I’ve barely showed you everything I can do.” Akechi continued to turn the dial, waiting for the flames to answer his call.</p><p>Ren shrugged his shoulders and decided to start cutting his ingredients. He wanted to mix ginger and garlic into the base and minced them delicately, then returned to the stove to let them sizzle happily in the pan.</p><p>Akechi managed to get the stove fired up by now, but there was nothing in it, as he was still measuring out the amount of flour he needed. What was Croque Monsieur even supposed to be?</p><p>Ren opened the fridge, basking in the sweet cold for a bit. There was a certain satisfaction to showing off that he had no need to rush. He couldn’t help but grin as he saw Akechi hurling a peevish look towards him as he took out the ground meat, silken tofu and spring onions. The only ingredients left he had to prepare before everything could happily cook away in his pan.</p><p>He let the ground beef join its spicy friends and looked into Akechi’s pot that seemed to include clots of a yellowish mixture that slowly started to turn darker. Akechi looked at his phone and back again at the pot, trying to whisk away the big clots, adding milk in between.</p><p>Ren added the spices he mixed in the beginning to the ground meat, garlic and ginger in the pan, taking care to gently mix them. Now he just had to let it sit for a while before he added the silken tofu and garnished with the spring onions so these fresh ingredients wouldn’t break apart.</p><p>The clots in Akechi’s pot turned black.</p><p>“I’m going to make coffee,” Ren announced, still grinning. “Do you want some too?”</p><p>He could’ve sworn he heard Akechi cursing under his breath. “… Yes, please.” He shut down the heat, moving to his cutting board again.</p><p>“Do you want a simple coffee?” Ren tried to check-in on what Akechi is doing, but his back hid the cutting board; only the dangerous sound of the knife being pressed a little too harshly for Ren’s taste moved through the kitchen. Ren took the chance to take in the curve of Akechi’s ass, perfectly accentuated by the tight pants he wore. “I could make a latte or a cappuccino as well. Or a flat white.” He tore his eyes away, expecting his wandering mind to do him little good during the duel. “Since we are called LeBlanc, I established it as our new signature drink.”</p><p>“Whatever,” Akechi said, voice low and sharp like his cuts. “I mean,” his tone immediately shifted, a layer of sugar thrown over the lava, “a latte would be nice, thank you.”</p><p>Ren hadn’t seen this kind of fire in Akechi yet - even when he lost in their game-center meet-ups, it always was just a sheet of ice thrown over his words and face, never that fiery rage.</p><p>Ren realized that he liked it very much.</p><p>As the espresso poured down into the cups, he stirred up the food in the pan once more, adding in the silken tofu and finally turning the heat off. The residual warmth would be enough for the new addition.</p><p>Akechi had lined up a toast, a slice of cheese and ham, then a slice of toast again, ham, cheese, toast. Ren wondered if the dinner date he gave away was just an excuse to participate in a competition for the driest sandwich on this planet.</p><p>Ren got back to the coffee maker, foaming up the milk for Akechi’s latte.</p><p>Akechi on the other hand started disassembling his sandwich again, pouring a handful of grated cheese in between every slice of cheese and ham. Ren really wondered where he was going with it. Now he was adding the mustard to one slice of toast. Okay, maybe not that dry. He added the slice of toast with mustard to his little tower, put it away again, looked at it against the light of the café, put it down again with a kind of precision that caught Ren’s curiosity. But the milk was foamed and the latte ready to be served.</p><p>As was his dinner.</p><p>Ren set aside two plates, put some rice from the rice cooker onto them and added his mixture from the pan, sprinkling some spring onions on them. It wouldn’t just <em>taste</em> good, no - it <em>looked</em> mouth watering as well. The rice was firm, yet gently accepting of the spicy mixture that he made, the brownish sauce coating the grains gently, and along with the silken tofu and onions hovering on top, it was a green-white-brown symphony. He placed the plates next to each other on the counter, set down cutlery and walked around the counter to grab the coffee and the latte he had prepared.</p><p>Akechi looked around the kitchen, the cutting board where he made his sandwich tower in hand. “Where’s your oven?”</p><p>“Oven? We don’t have an oven.”</p><p>Akechi’s gaze fell down to the meal in his hands. He had sprinkled grated cheese on top of it and added some herbs. His cheeks had turned slightly pink, and his lips were pursed. His expression reminded Ren of one that a certain child at the kindergarten always made, a little boy who had the saddest face when he realized the puzzle he just completed got destroyed by another child running right through it. With the boy, Ren always got anxious and braced himself for big tears to start streaming down the child’s face next; with Akechi, it just made him very kissable.</p><p>“Maybe you can do it in a skillet instead? You didn’t ask me if we had an oven.” To be fair, Akechi didn’t even ask about fucking <em>salt</em>. </p><p>“… I forgot.”</p><p>Akechi put the cutting board down on the workspace. He finally looked up to the counter, his eyes widening as he saw the two plates with Ren’s mapo tofu.</p><p>“I guess I won,” Ren said, placing the coffee and the latte next to the food, sitting down on the stool on the left.</p><p>“We’ll see about that,” Akechi said, but his eyes tracked the mapo tofu as he approached his own stool. Surely he wouldn’t be able to resist that magic. “By the way, it seems like one of your pots got destroyed during the battle. I apologize and will organize a replacement as soon as possible.”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it”, Ren said, though he didn’t know how Sojiro would react if he saw what happened to one of the pots he had been using for a decade now. “Let’s eat first.”</p><p>Akechi stared down at his plate, stirring through the rice with his spoon. “When did you make this?”</p><p>“Probably just when you sealed the fate of that pot. Why?”</p><p>“No, I mean the rice.” When he looked at him, Ren could spot stern lines between his eyebrows. Uh-oh.</p><p>“We always have rice ready for the customers”, Ren said.</p><p>Akechi let out a sigh, replacing the stern lines with a smile. “You’re disqualified for using prepared food. I guess we’re even.”</p><p>What? Usually Ren was the one who prided himself on bringing <em>the audacity</em> to the table. Akechi didn’t even get to serve anything.</p><p>Ren put the spoon into his mapo tofu and held it up in front of Akechi’s face. “Take a bite.”</p><p>Akechi took the spoon from his hand and put it to his lips, looking at Ren for a split second before closing his eyes, savoring the taste. He made a small, pleased sound, a drop of honey for Ren’s ears. “… It’s … it’s very delicious.” Akechi handed Ren his spoon back and took up his own. “It’s been a while since I had mapo tofu, but …”</p><p>Just when he tried to scoop up some more, Ren removed the plate from underneath Akechi’s nose.</p><p>“You sure you want to eat food that’s been disqualified?”</p><p>“You …” Akechi bit his lip, the heat spilling into his face again. “… It would be an utter waste not to eat this.”</p><p>“I’ve talked to the food, it’s still offended.”</p><p>Akechi’s eyes darkened as he grabbed onto the plate and tried to pull it towards him.</p><p>“Say please”, Ren said, refusing to let go.</p><p>“Please refrain from such childish activities if you use it to waste perfectly fine food.”</p><p>“You still have your sandwich.”</p><p>Akechi blushed again, his eyes darting away to the side. “Please let me eat that.”</p><p>“See? It wasn’t that hard.”</p><p>Ren wondered if he went too far, because Akechi spent the rest of the meal chewing his mapo tofu slowly, his face a deep shade of red, eyes never leaving his plate. Yet if he could turn back time and do it again, Ren wouldn’t change anything. There was a certain way contentment rose into the redness of his face, softening his lines. That was the power of good food.</p><p>Since Akechi told him in a previous encounter that he had lived in foster homes for a long time before moving into his own apartment when he started acting work, he had somehow assumed Akechi knew how to cook for himself.</p><p>When Akechi finally put down his spoon and picked up the latte, Ren decided to put away his dish as well, even though there was still some rice left.</p><p>He wanted to make space for conversation after their intense battle.</p><p>“So the sandwich was supposed to go into the oven?”</p><p>“Yes, but it seems I’ve already failed in creating the béchamel that was needed to make the recipe work,” Akechi said, a smile lightening up his face. “Do you mind sending me the recipe for the mapo tofu? I’m afraid it’s a lot more fitting for a family dinner than what I attempted to create.”</p><p>Ren nodded, but seeing Akechi move through the kitchen, he was still afraid for the family. Maybe he could convince him to take some cooking classes. With Ren as the instructor. Maybe then he’d at least stop on using recipes that needed an oven even though he had no access to them. “Do you even have an oven in your apartment?”</p><p>If Akechi expected Ren to have an oven, he must have a pretty high-class image of Japanese homes. Ren couldn’t blame him, it was normal to take oneself as the standard, and the standards of one of the most wanted young actors in Japan must be very different from the common Japanese apartment. Most only had a small grill under the stove after all.</p><p>“To be honest, I don’t remember”, Akechi said, “I rarely cook for myself since I’m always working somewhere else and usually get food on the way or try out some trendy spot in the city.”</p><p>Akechi ran his finger over the top of his coffee cup. Ren wondered how he could make even small gestures like this seem sensual. “Just like when I tried out this café.”</p><p>“I have to thank Ann for recommending it to you.”</p><p>“I have to admit she gave me a whole list of cafés. But this one caught my interest because of its extraordinary name. How long have you been working here?”</p><p>Ren had to think back to when he first came to Tokyo, then subtract the few months he spent back home again. “About 6 years, I think.”</p><p>“Who else is working here besides you and Sojiro-san?”</p><p>Ren was surprised Akechi even remembered Sojiro’s name since he just talked about him briefly once, but on the other hand, Akechi was the type to even remember the smallest of details. “I’m the only one. I guess he’s expecting me to take over one day, but …”</p><p>“But acting has won you over?” Akechi sighed, smiling. ”Even if it hasn’t, it’s the responsibility of being a hero. Suddenly a whole world of opportunities opens up, and you’re expected to take your chance.”</p><p>Ren did feel as if his whole world had changed after they started shooting, and especially after the first episode aired - but it was not like it was recognized on the street yet. He could still lay low, it was just a very demanding job.</p><p>“Actually, no. There’s something else.” The words sounded more severe then he intended to, and he saw Akechi looking at him, curious and just slightly alarmed. It was time.</p><p>“I’ve read up on Ivana Chubbuck.”</p><p>Akechi put his hand to his chin and leaned into it. “Oh yeah?”</p><p>Ren took a deep breath, collecting the words for his recital. “To create emotional chemistry between two actors, it’s important to find an emotional connection through a mutual trauma or insecurity, something that heightens your inherent understanding of each other.”</p><p>Akechi kept looking at him.</p><p>“And ... I’m sorry.” Ren said. “I haven’t been talking about myself as much as you did. Even though you …” When Ren got the pages from Masa about creating an emotional connection, he immediately thought of Akechi’s openness about his past in foster homes, about the way his mother was treated. The anger he felt towards his father who got away before he was old enough to even remember him. And Ren simply sat there, listening, even though Akechi must’ve been waiting for him to share something as well.</p><p>But Akechi shook his head. “I don’t know why I told you about my family situation. I was just glad you didn’t mind the conversation turning so depressing.” He shifted in his seat, and Ren felt his heart jump as he was leaning just a tad towards him. “But if that prompted you to talk about something similar - if it’s something that connects us - I guess Chubbuck’s approach is right, and we are very similar deep down.”</p><p>Of course Akechi immediately got what Ren was aiming for. That made it easier. “It might be. Because, uhm … The reason why I think I will be unable to take over the café is my criminal record.”</p><p>At least, it definitely would make it harder for him to get property rights and to enter the commercial register.</p><p>“Criminal record?”</p><p>“Yeah. In my hometown, I saw a woman getting harassed by a man and tried to protect her.” He had told the story to his friends so many times that he didn’t stumble over his words anymore, but there was still the tiniest hint of a knot in his stomach, the ever-shrinking, never-fading horror of the situation. “The man stumbled and was hurt in the head. He took the case to court and in the end, the woman I saved testified against me. I don’t blame her. The man is an influential politician and she probably didn’t have any other choice.”</p><p>Akechi stared down into his coffee cup. “That was before you came to Tokyo, right? Did the authorities ever realize their mistake?”</p><p>Ren shook his head. “I guess I could roll up the case with what I know now, but it’s hard to get a hold of the woman.” And the politician, Shido Masayoshi, was basically untouchable.</p><p>“I see.” Akechi said. “Thank you for sharing. Did it ever come up when you had to sign the contract for Persona?”</p><p>“Yeah. But they didn’t follow up on it.” He had been so anxious when he had to include a certificate of conduct in the application process, but they didn’t seem to mind him having a criminal record at this. Maybe they considered it helpful, since his character, Joker, also had a history with getting accused of stealing things.</p><p>“I hope it helps with our …” he struggled to say romantic, “… emotional connection.”</p><p>“I can definitely see that we both have been disadvantaged by the hierarchical systems in our society.” He closed his eyes for a second. “And that we have to take care not to fall into the same traps as we get older. But …”  Akechi looked back at Ren. “It does make me curious about how you became friends with the daughter of the Okumura empire.”</p><p>“Haru?”</p><p>“You don’t seem like someone who would take such an exploitative company very lightly. Even considering the binding of capitalism, they’ve tested the limits.”</p><p>Even though there were a lot of situations where he profited from Haru’s privileged status, he never thought about the problematic origins of her wealth. It just seemed to be in a completely different world, far away from the Haru he knew. But he couldn’t simply share the problems she had with her father with Akechi, even though he seemed trustworthy enough.</p><p>“It’s kinda complicated. She was my upperclassman in high school, but I barely talked to her back then. But ever since two years ago, she's been the girlfriend of someone who had been student council president at that time, and I became friends with the president when I was forced to enter the student council to improve my reputation. I don’t know if it did a lot for me, but Makoto and Haru definitely became good friends.”</p><p>Akechi moved his fingers to his lips, thinking.</p><p>Ren continued talking, driven by a slightly nervous pull. “Okay. To be frank, I never connected her to the exploitation of the Okumura company. She was always just Haru to me.”</p><p>“Makoto as in Makoto Nijima?”</p><p>Ren’s coffee cup froze in midair with him. </p><p>Akechi laughed. “Don’t worry. I just happen to work with Nijima-san’s sister, Sae-san, and remember her coming to the office one day and telling me that she ran the student council. I guess it was a weird way of trying to prove her worth in front of me and Sae-san. But the secret is safe with me. As long as my life’s not on the line.” Ren thought that was a weird way to put it, but Akechi said it nonchalantly, folding his hands together. “I know the president of Okumura foods isn’t well known for particularly liberal attitudes.”</p><p>“Thanks.” Ren said, but he still felt bad about it. He was just so loose-lipped because he didn’t expect anyone to actually create an image of their relationship in their head, ready to go round and about with it.</p><p>“I can see that you’re still worried.” Akechi said, the remnants of his laugh still flashing in between his words, and Ren relaxed a bit, knowing he had taken the issue too seriously.</p><p>“I won’t tell anyone. I promise.”</p><p>Ren felt a tender touch on the back of his hand, and his eyes met Akechi’s, the dormant red in it rising to the top.</p><p>He felt heat rising to his cheeks. This was not just a friendly, reassuring touch.</p><p>Akechi’s fingers pressed down, as if to lock Ren in place. “Let’s not waste time on Haru. What else have you learned about Chubbuck?”</p><p>He knew that look on Akechi’s face. It was the look of someone who didn’t like to lose, but there was something else beyond it. It felt like his lungs were unable to take in anymore air, stopping him from taking a leap away. A leap he desperately needed to get away from the temptation rising though his limbs. Had there been something about touch in the pages Masa-kun had sent him?</p><p>“I have to admit most I’ve heard from her just felt like fancy rebranding of approaches that were already established in the industry.” Akechi put the cup of coffee to his lips with his free hand, steam still rising right into his hair, yet it was Ren’s vision that got clouded. “Nevertheless, the technique she developed for sexual tension caught my interest.”</p><p>“I … I don’t remember what was there.” Ren managed to say while his mind forced him to keep staring at the man in front of him, tracing the lines of his hair, his cheekbones, his neck.</p><p>“Too bad. It’s right after the pages on emotional connection.” Akechi said.</p><p>The way his lips parted and closed after every word. “Do you … do you think Joker and Crow should have sexual chemistry?”</p><p>“It’s not about what I think, it’s about what the audience wants.” Akechi leaned back slightly, the ponytail on the back of his head swaying. “And being able to create a chemistry that strong will inevitably create a kind of dynamic that will entice the audience and invite them to come back. They will long for release.”</p><p>Ren didn’t dare to move. He felt as if a weight was pressing his shoulders back, tensing him up. “What did she say?”</p><p>“I will try to describe it as accurately as possible. Imagine the actor you’re playing with, the one you need to create a connection to.” Akechi pulled his hand away and his tone turned light as he was gesturing. Ren felt like he was back in the talk show setting, Akechi putting out his sweetest Robin smile, winning the people over with his charisma.</p><p>Ren did not have to imagine anything, he had the real deal right in front of him.</p><p>“Now, take your wildest sexual fantasy. The more specific it is, the better.”</p><p>
  <em>It starts with undressing you.</em>
</p><p>“Something that is unique to you, pulled from the depths of your deepest, most dangerous desires. That will inevitably be more erotic, yes?”</p><p>“Okay.” Ren said, his mind already passing the emergency shut-down threshold.</p><p>“Use your imagination to sexually fantasize about the other actor.” Akechi held up a finger. “And you cannot use a substitute, or it won’t work.”</p><p>Ren felt his mind grasping at straws, looking for anything to say, every thought slipping away from him like icicles that just started melting in the unbearable heat. If he looked only as slightly disheveled as he felt, Akechi would laugh at him in no time. Or he was just forcing himself to stay serious despite this clownery Ren probably presented right now. The power of acting.</p><p>Acting. Akechi was just acting? Maybe Ren could say that was simply too advanced for him. Maybe Akechi was just playing with him. For him? With him?</p><p>Somehow he managed to force words out. “Can I just imagine Crow and Joker or does it have to be you and me?”</p><p>“Is there a difference?”</p><p>There would be. Joker wouldn’t be sitting there, his mind blank, trying to process what was happening in front of his eyes, waiting for Akechi to nudge closer. Joker wouldn’t just fidget around, Joker would think of a plan and act on it. Joker would only trace Akechi’s lips to make it a target. Joker would assess the situation and look for a way to turn the tables.</p><p>Ren tried to imagine Joker’s coat around his shoulders, the collar turned up, the thing that made him think of a vampiric count. But he was not flying through the night to suck blood, but to suck the poison from society. Stealing hearts and changing the trajectories of many lives in the process.</p><p>Red gloves over his fingers. He wouldn’t leave any fingerprints. He could move around freely.</p><p>The mask over his eyes. The elegant, simple black and white that was suited for a masquerade, suited for kidnapping the prince that had snuck onto the guest list with a fake name.</p><p>And when he ripped it off —</p><p>The screech.</p><p>The screech of metal against wood.</p><p>“I apologize. It seems like I overstepped my boundaries.”</p><p>Akechi, clad in the black of Crow’s true form, had stood up, pushing his stool back against the counter.</p><p>“Thanks for the dinner. It was excellent.” His tone was just as light as before, but the last word frayed on its edge.</p><p>Something rough to hold on to. Ren jumped from his stool.</p><p>As Akechi turned to the door, he grabbed his wrist, imagining his gloved red hands enclosing it.</p><p>Joker was a gambler. The greater the risk, the greater the temptation.</p><p>He sunk his hands into the sides of Akechi’s torso, slamming his back towards the counter, pressing his own body flush against Akechi’s, earning a sweet, <em>sweet</em> surprised yelp.</p><p>“Ren, wha—”</p><p>Akechi’s lips had the familiar taste of the coffee he’d made him, as if he was already his. He felt heat rushing from his heart to the ends of his limbs, up to the ends of the fingertips he pressed into Akechi’s shirt.</p><p>Ren only separated from him when he came up for air, a brief moment where only the sound of Akechi’s breath was caught between them before his body guided him back towards him, pulled in by hunger and necessity.</p><p>His skin tickled with the touch of Akechi’s hair, his head drowning in the soft jasmine scent, a spark of citrus stirring him up. Their tongues intertwined, Akechi’s hand moving underneath Ren’s shirt, nails grazing his skin.</p><p>He couldn’t help but moan into his mouth, almost disgusted by how needy he sounded. Instinctively, he pressed his crotch against Akechi’s, stimulated by friction and possibility.</p><p>Akechi ran his hands down his sides, sending a pleasant shiver right through his spine. Ren let his own hands slide down the back of Akechi’s body, cupping his firm, ample ass.</p><p>“Nh-” Akechi’s mouth moved to the side of Ren’s face, his nose flattened against his cheek. “Ren, wait.”</p><p>Then, he pushed him away at the hips. Ren almost stumbled backwards, the sudden loss of heat and touch sending his body into disarray.</p><p>Akechi moved a hand against his own breast, breath heavy and head sunken.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Ren sounded, his feet already shifting towards Akechi again, unable to keep distance.</p><p>“No, it’s just …” Akechi looked up, his lips adorned with a soft smile. “It’s a fantasy, right?”</p><p>Ren felt his heart lunge. “What do you mean?”</p><p>Akechi straightened his back and took a sudden step towards him. Ren felt himself walking backwards, pushed by an invisible force, yet his eyes could not let go of the storm that was brewing inside Akechi’s eyes.</p><p>“I say we act it out. Properly. Take off your glasses.”</p><p>Ren moved his hand to his face, his fingers shaking from the prospect of what was about to come. He slowly lifted his glasses, reaching his hand back and putting them on the sofa behind him.</p><p>The corners of Akechi’s mouth turned up a little more, pushing something dark into his eyes.</p><p>“Lay down on the table.”</p><p>Ren felt his erection growing harder as Akechi took another assertive step towards him.</p><p>“Y-yes,” he stammered, moving backwards until his ass hit the wood, lifting his heels, but Akechi already moved up to him, one arm-length away.</p><p>Two arms pushed him down, his ass and back on the table, feet still dangling. A shadow rose above him, a force made of lust and danger.</p><p>Akechi put his lips to his ear. “Close your eyes.”</p><p>“Yes.” Ren’s voice sounded lighter than usual, pushed into heights by his eagerness to obey.</p><p>Akechi pressed a kiss to his jawline, his hands pulling Ren’s shirt up to his shoulders. His nipples stiffened as the air of the café hit them, and Akechi followed with a touch of his own. His lips moved down Ren’s neck, past the cotton hiding Ren’s collarbone, rejoining the skin at his breasts, sending his thoughts into oblivion.</p><p>Ren opened his eyes just a little, watched Akechi’s hair trail down, kisses and hair tickling him, joined by the sweet pain of grazing teeth every now and then. His hands laid stiff on his side, tensed up by his efforts to stop himself from jerking up at yet another electrifying peck against his skin.</p><p>He heard the hard clicking of Akechi’s heels hitting the floor of LeBlanc again, his hands settling at the seam of his pants.</p><p>“What are you doing?” Ren couldn’t stop himself from propping himself up on his elbows, watching Akechi fumble with his belt.</p><p>Akechi simply stared up at him, eyebrows raised, disappointed by Ren not recognizing the inevitable.He licked his lips as he pulled his pants down, although they were already glistening from the kisses he spent on Ren’s skin.</p><p>Ren could feel his dick twitch the moment Akechi laid his eyes upon his erection pressing against his boxers.</p><p>“Enchanting”, Akechi said, pressing his palm against his dick. “You’re pretty turned on for someone who’s at my mercy.”</p><p><em>Not mercy</em>, Ren thought, <em>because of you</em>, but he only managed to produce a small gasp, watching Akechi pull his boxers down.</p><p>As his dick sprang free, he tried to collect himself in a small corner of his head, lowering his chin to take in Akechi’s reaction.</p><p>He felt Akechi’s breath on his skin, a soft tingling that was already threatening to send him over.</p><p>“What a lovely sight”, Akechi said, looking up to Ren. He put his hands on his thighs, pressing against the force urging Ren towards his face. A smile spread on Akechi’s lips, frisky and forceful. “I can’t wait for you to fuck me.”</p><p>Ren couldn’t stop his hips trying to jolt up.</p><p>“Easy”, Akechi said softly, pressing his tongue against his shaft, gracing him with a languid lick along his length.</p><p>This was surreal.</p><p>Ren tried to tense up his thighs, his abdomen, anything so he would not come right away. Akechi put his lips on the head of his dick, his tongue swirling around it.</p><p>A beep sunk into the silence between Ren’s ragged breaths —</p><p>A beep?</p><p>“Tch. Why now?” Akechi moved his head away, his eyes lit up by the light blue shine of his phone screen, then slid his phone back into hiding. “Sorry, I got an urgent notice from work.”</p><p>He removed his hands from Ren’s thighs, and Ren simply looked down at himself, overwhelmed and empty. Didn’t you do stuff like that at night especially because you couldn’t get called up by your work? Frustration already crept up his back, but it didn’t ease his erection.</p><p>Akechi chuckled, stroking his knee lightly. “Rest assured. I can satisfy you and still look presentable after.” He motioned towards Ren to come to him, and Ren interpreted it as a sign of sitting up. As if he wouldn’t do anything to get closer to Akechi.</p><p>Akechi joined him on the table, running through Ren’s hair with his hand, slightly pulling at his roots. He lowered his lips to his ear. “It’s not very hero-like,” he told him, his words ruffled with reproach, “to succumb to the villain that easily.” His other hand enclosed Ren’s dick, slowly pumping up and down.</p><p>“You’re...” Ren managed to press out, trying to pass his voice hitching in his throat, “you’re just too good, Akechi, you’re …”</p><p> “Use my other name”, Akechi said, tightening his fingers.</p><p>“Goro?”</p><p>Akechi nibbled at his earlobe with a pleased hum.</p><p>“You’re just too good, Goro …”</p><p>“Yes. Like that.”</p><p>“Goro …”</p><p>A low growl. An invigorating sound that made Ren entertain the idea that Akechi was just as turned on as he was.</p><p>“Goro …!”</p><p>Akechi was everywhere. His hand stroking him relentlessly. His hair tickling his neck. His breath against his ear. His scent still rich in his nose.</p><p>He had to let go. He felt his body trembling and tingling and the overwhelming sensations made him want to scream. He felt his lungs expand, his fingers reading for a part beyond his skin, then implode as he released. Ren slumped against Akechi’s shoulder, feeling lightheaded.</p><p>For a few seconds, the only thing they heard were each other's breaths; Ren’s exhausted pants, and Akechi’s soft inhalations, a song of vigor and prospects.</p><p>Akechi’s hand, that had closed around him as he orgasmed, was sticky with his come.</p><p>“I’m … I’m sorry …” Ren mumbled, his body still shivering, his vision hazy.</p><p>“It’s fine,” Akechi said, a simple smile sneaking into his words. He lifted his hand to his face, spreading his fingers only to reach with his tongue around them, slowly licking up the sap.</p><p>Ren gulped. He could already feel pressure rushing back to his loins. “No, I mean, because you didn’t —”</p><p>“I can take care of myself, Ren.”</p><p>Akechi already went to the sink, the sound of water rushing bringing Ren back to his reality. He pulled up his pants, deciding he would take a late night bath trip after he cleaned up the shop.</p><p>Akechi dried his hands and pulled out his phone, rearranging the hair that got disheveled during the make-out session.</p><p>“If you want, you can come back when work is over.”</p><p>“Thanks for the offer, but it’s not that easy.” Akechi grabbed his coat from the hanger and opened the door to the cold streets of Yongenjaya. “You will understand once you’ve spent a few more years in the industry. Remember, call time is at 7 tomorrow.”</p><p>And with that reminder of their shooting schedule, Akechi vanished into the night, the door closing with a loud <em>tack</em>.</p><p>Ren still felt hazy, as if his body was turned inside out and coated with honey; some kind of sweet that made you high but unable to enjoy anything else for a while.</p><p>His glasses were sitting on the bench beside him, completely oblivious to what just happened on the table next to them. The table that he wouldn’t be able to look at without turning red anymore.</p><p>The realization of what happened - that it wasn’t a dream, that he could still somehow trace Akechi’s movements on his skin - slowly settled in, spreading out on his face in a huge grin.</p><p>High risk, high reward.</p><p>He wanted to ask Akechi if he should call him Goro from now on.</p><p>But maybe that was just part of his fantasy. He took the glasses into his hands, looking down at the clean black frame. They were not unlike the ones he wore as Akira Kurusu.</p><p>Having Ren take them off was definitely a part of his fantasy, right?</p><p>So …</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Where could Akechi be headed so late at night?</p><p>I will try to include a little cute Makoharu scene later in the series!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Scene 24C, Take 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Joker!” “Panther!” “Skull!” “Fox!” “Navi!” “Queen!” “Noir!”</p>
<p>“Okay, let’s do this!” Director Yukari had moved her hands to the middle of their circle, and Ren and the other actors had laid their hands upon hers, releasing them into the air with a loud “Yeah!”</p>
<p>After they finally finished up shooting the first half of the engine room battle yesterday, they would start to go into the conversations that happened in the scene today. Yukari gave them a little pep-talk because they had been starting super early today - call time was at 5 because they had to reshoot an interrogation room scene with Ren for the episode that was airing in two weeks.</p>
<p>Yukari told them to try to enjoy themselves even though the scene would be very emotionally demanding. She asked everyone to speak up when they feel like they are reaching their limits so they could take a break before it gets worse.</p>
<p>They took some shots with reactions from the Phantom Thieves standing in the engine room, trying to look shocked at a form of Crow that was not there. Akechi had been shooting some CGI for his transformation to Black Mask with the second unit even before they got together and had just been able to remove his mocap suit half an hour ago. He was now in the dressing room getting turned into the princely Crow, but that was a shot they could take without him.</p>
<p>Or so Yukari had tried.</p>
<p>“Okay, so, Joker, how do you feel right now?”</p>
<p>“I’m devastated. I’m devastated because …” Ren added, because Yukari was always asking for a follow-up, and it always helped him to unpack that. Luckily, he had learned to prepare his scripts accordingly and get into the scenes with a bit more preparation then he did a few weeks ago. “… Akechi is not the one I thought he was. Of course I already knew he was working with the enemy, but it’s still jarring to see him so engulfed in his own anger and hatred …”</p>
<p>Risa, the actress playing the navigator of her Phantom Thieves, let out a small laugh.</p>
<p>“Risa!” Yukari scolded and looked at Ren again. “Go on.”</p>
<p>Ren was a bit irritated, but Risa must’ve laughed about something unrelated. “And that’s why despite all the problems the Phantom Thieves are facing right now, we would …” Ren wanted to say ‘we would still welcome him’. But was that <em>really</em> what Joker was doing? In that scene, Akechi was a threat for the Phantom Thieves, and protecting them was more important than saving him. Masa-kun gave him the tip that he needed one main goal to decide on for each scene so he had a clear direction he could act on with Joker’s decisiveness, but it was kinda hard to think of ‘saving Akechi’ as a secondary goal …</p>
<p>Just as he wanted to ask Yukari about that approach, Akechi stepped onto the soundstage, clad in his princely Crow outfit, ready to continue where they had left off yesterday.</p>
<p>“Okay, I think with Akechi here that will be a lot earlier. Glad you’re back, Crow.” Yukari said and an assistant stepped towards Akechi to show him where to place himself on that stage so they could have a neatless transition with the shots yesterday.</p>
<p>“Oh, and Ren,” Yukari said, walking up to him. “Take care not to mix the actors and their roles that much. If you’re thinking about motivations, it should always be in character first.”</p>
<p>“Huh?” Ren went through what he said, remembered Risa’s short-lived laugh. Shit. He had been subtituting Akechi’s name for Robin. “Right. Sorry.”</p>
<p> They took the shots they had already set up and didn’t have to change the lights for, as well as some reactions and some wide shots of their stances from when the Phantom Thieves were facing Crow after the first part of his battle. After what felt like an hour of standing around looking around distressed, they were finally dismissed to take a short break.</p>
<p>The clock was only striking 8 am and Ren could already feel the afternoon slump creeping up on him. He sat down at the catering table, lowering his head onto his crossed elbows. Despite the call time being super early anyway, his thoughts had taken on a particularly unforgiving frequency at night. He was sure it was the buzz from the dining duel just two nights ago moving through him, so he just hoped it would die down eventually. He didn’t want to get cast in Zombieland next.</p>
<p>Ann and Risa sat down across from him, opening the bento boxes that had been prepared for them. He felt his stomach growling as the smell of karaage invaded his nose and pulled his own box from the stack, sitting up with a tired groan. </p>
<p>“I swear I’m so happy we’re not doing any fighting today.” Ann leaned back against her chair, stretching her arms. “I was so exhausted yesterday, I couldn’t do anything but fall into bed. Not even check social media. I couldn’t be vertical anymore.”</p>
<p>“Same for me. I mean, I actually checked social media in bed, but my phone kept falling against my head because my hands were so weak. Man, I felt like I had to tell Keiko-san to touch up my forehead a bit more because I feared I had a big dent or something.”</p>
<p>“Hm,” Ren started, dangling a piece of tamagoyaki in front of him, “did you see anything about Akechi’s giveaway?”</p>
<p>“Giveaway? Oh. You mean the dinner he had with a fan?” Risa asked, and Ren nodded, the savoury sweetness of the tamagoyaki coating his mouth. “Yeah, I saw the pic yesterday night. I was like: Fine. Show us that you’re still able to go out and put on a pleasant smile for your fans while the rest of the cast is fucking dead from exhaustion. I almost died again from realizing there are seriously people that can do this.” Risa threw her hands into the air. “It just makes me feel bad about myself.”</p>
<p>“Oh Risa, there’s no need to feel that way.” Akechi pulled out the chair next to Ren and joined the happy circle. Risa looked like she was ready to punch him into his face. “I’m sure it’s just a matter of experience. And yesterday was still exhausting for me, I just felt the need to take responsibility and show up as my best self for my fan.”</p>
<p>“Hey, I want to focus on what’s going on today. I mean, most of the difficult parts will be Crow’s monologue, but some of Panther’s reactions are still hard for me,” Ann interrupted, trying to loosen the tension that seemed to prepare Risa for an actual fistfight with Akechi. “<em>Will you please stop? You’re fighting the wrong people! We both hate the same guy! Why do we have to go against each other?!”, </em>Ann recited in a whiny voice, then shook her head. “No. Not feeling it. It sounds like I’m talking to a friend that I share a toxic ex with, but she somehow still has feelings for him and acts on them in a very distorted way.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, it sounds way too corny if you put it like that. But it will be alright in the scene.” Risa pointed her chopsticks towards Ren. “Do you think this guy once thought that saying something like <em>Showtime! </em>was not corny? You gotta embrace that in a series like this.”</p>
<p>“After all, these corny lines do have some truth to it,” Akechi said, his gloved hands laying flat against the table, “but unless the heroes are the one to deliver them, we’re unlikely to derive hope and meaning from them.”</p>
<p>“Sure, nerd”, Risa said, letting her chopsticks fall into her finished bento.</p>
<p>Ren expected Akechi to send a well-mannered quip back at her, but his attention was drawn away, his red-brown eyes looking towards the soundstage. Yukari and a stage assistant were walking along the fake engine-room floor, checking marks that were indicating their position in the scene along with a stand-in for Akechi.</p>
<p>“By the way, how was your dining duel?” Ann asked him. “You promised to tell me everything about it. Ren won, right?”</p>
<p>“We had a good time”, Ren said, looking away so Ann wouldn’t see his goofy grin. “And yes, I did win.”</p>
<p>“Well, to be precise, no one won,” Akechi said, a fish reeled in by the most obvious bait ever, “Ren’s dish was disqualified because he used prepared food. As for me, I unfortunately made a minor mistake which rendered me unable to finish my meal within the time limit.”</p>
<p>Ann seemed like she was working her brain to figure out what minor mistake Akechi could’ve made. Ren wanted to grab her shoulders and shake her. <em>There is no minor mistake! Hide your kitchen supplies!</em></p>
<p><em>“</em>But you were satisfied?” Ren asked Akechi, trying to focus on the positive side of his dish. And maybe, just maybe (most certainly) planting the seed of an idea in his head.</p>
<p>“Hm? Of course not,” Akechi said, causing Ann to knit her brows together, probably wondering what exactly had happened that made Ren say they still had a good time. “But if we went any further, we'd both go beyond the point of no return, wouldn't we?” He flashed his polite, charming smile at Ren. Nothing special to see here.</p>
<p>Akechi left the table and went to the soundstage. Checking the markings was one of the last things Yukari liked to do before she started to shoot again, so Ren also got up and moved towards his waiting seat, picking up the script for the scene to read through it one last time. He had few lines, but Akechi’s … <em>Crow’s</em> lines were mostly addressing Joker, so he had to stay very focused and ready to react.</p>
<p>He put on Joker’s mask and got ready to be placed on the stage, microphones and cameras moving along with the Phantom Thieves, Crow standing in front of him. Yukari explained they would be doing the whole conversation before the battle as one long take a few times to get a clean safe shot with usable audio, then move into different angles and try out some more nuances line-by-line. Fortunately they didn’t have to block out a lot, since the intensity and dynamics would be mostly created through light, camera angles and their acting, not with their movements across the stage. Yukari said it would create a satisfying contrast to the motion-heavy fighting scenes they had in between the conversations.</p>
<p>“Pictures up!” The assistant director, Fuyumi-san, gave the crew her go.</p>
<p>After they cleared up the last few questions and were once again instructed not to step on the CGI-marker on the ground that they would use to insert Morgana later, Yukari went into a little booth from where she could monitor the scene and give direct orders to the multiple cam operators to change some things up during the recording.</p>
<p>“Finals are done!” said the woman who just went through Ann’s hair again, hiding one of her blonde locks under the pink wig she was using.</p>
<p>“Cameras ready?” The cameras 1-4 replied with their number and a short “ready”.  Ren closed his eyes for a second. This was his last chance to focus, to lay out a path in his mind for Joker to walk on.</p>
<p>"Lock it up."</p>
<p>"Roll sound!"</p>
<p>He opened his eyes again. Akechi - no, <em>Crow</em> had one knee on the floor, his hands stabilizing him after he jumped down from an upper platform in front of the Phantom Thieves.</p>
<p>"Sound is speeding."</p>
<p>"Episode 10, scene 24A, Take 1."</p>
<p>Joker did expect Crow to show up eventually after betraying him, but he didn’t expect it to happen right after they secured the route to the treasure of Fujinami’s ship, the palace of the corrupt politician.</p>
<p>"Set."</p>
<p>“Action.”</p>
<p>Crow slowly rose, and something like fear made Joker tense up, washing over the rush of adrenaline their success in securing the route gave him. He walked towards the Phantom Thieves, and he could feel Panther freezing up behind him.</p>
<p>“Long time no see.”</p>
<p>Skull and Navi seemed surprised to see Crow, but Joker’s mind was already moving ahead, looking for the places he could connect to the darkness and warm it up instead of the things that they wanted to bring to light.</p>
<p>“Under different circumstances, we could’ve been great rivals … or perhaps even friends.”</p>
<p>“It’s not too late,” Joker said, his voice clear and calm.</p>
<p>Crow started laughing. It was a deranged cackle, a sound that made his body go into flight mode. “Oh, how wonderful.”</p>
<p>He started to praise Joker, but every word was delivered with such cold hatred, it was as if he continued cutting into his own skin with every word that left his mouth, starting to bleed. Starting to hurt.</p>
<p>Then, Ren felt a visible shift in atmosphere.</p>
<p>It was so potent, he lost his connection to Joker immediately. It was as if the strings connecting him and the other actors had been severed by an invisible hand. </p>
<p>“Remember I said before how my mother had been in a relationship with some good-for-nothing man?” Akechi spoke up, his demeanor completely changed. His words were a lot clearer and more straight-forward then the Crow that laced his words with resentment. As if it has been replaced by something less spectacular, a calculated indifference.</p>
<p>Ren didn’t get where he was going with this, but he had to stay in character. He had to get back to Joker!</p>
<p>He tried to see past the Akechi that was simply reciting the lines, thinking about Crow doing it, desperately trying to connect the dots between performance and context.</p>
<p>Akechi started to chuckle, just as detached as before. It was not the dangerous laugh anymore, it was something much more mechanic, his hands raised into the air robotically. “That’s when it happened —”</p>
<p>“Cut!”</p>
<p>“We’re cut.”</p>
<p>The sound from the booth echoes through the stage, prompting a collective exhalation.</p>
<p>“Standby.”</p>
<p>Yukari went out and walked towards the Phantom Thieves, clasping her hands together. “Sorry everyone, I’ve made a mistake. That was pretty good, try to keep in mind what you were experiencing, especially in the beginning of that scene. You can take a short break.” The mumble of the crew members started to turn into a low buzz. “I’ll try my best to fix it right away, so stay in position.”</p>
<p>She put a hand on Akechi’s shoulder and he flinched back like a frightened animal, causing her to quickly apologize. “Akechi-kun, do you mind chatting with me in the booth? I need to ask you something about your performance.”</p>
<p>He just stared at her for a few seconds, completely frozen. Then he nodded and they walked towards the booth, the sound of their steps drowned out by the crew exchanging alarmed concerns.</p>
<p>“I can’t believe this.”</p>
<p>Just as Ren was wondering if they might be complaining about their work schedule getting out of hand again, the conversations turned more urgent.</p>
<p>“I’m scared.” </p>
<p>“They aren’t sure what happened yet!”</p>
<p>Ren walked up to a camerawoman and her assistant that looked down at his phone as if he was reading something particular disturbing.</p>
<p>“Is something the matter?”, he asked.</p>
<p>“Oh, Joker, I mean Ren,” the camerawoman said, “It’s in the news. It’s horrible …”</p>
<p>“What? Oh my god, I think a friend of mine is always taking that train”, Risa’s voice reached his ears. “I’ll try calling her.” She was walking up and down the waiting area, putting her phone up to her ear.</p>
<p>“What happened?” Ren asked again, having abandoned his phone in the distant dressing room.</p>
<p>“There’s been a problem with a subway train.” Masa said, walking up to him. Ren was used to him being extremely serious and formal outside of acting, but there was genuine concern showing up on his face. “It derailed and crashed into the stations. There hasn’t been a lot of official information yet, but a lot of people have been hurt.”</p>
<p>“I’m scared,” Ann said, holding her own arms. “They say it could be an act of terrorism.”</p>
<p>An image of Tokyo in shambles shot through Ren’s mind. His new home broken and taken away from him, curling his stomach into an anxious knot. And they had a terrorist act caused by a curse of a Persona in their series as well, which added a twinge of guilt on top of it.</p>
<p>Masa shook his head. “There’s no use listening to rumours right now. We need to wait for more confirmation.”</p>
<p>“Oh yeah?” Risa joined their little circle, fingers balled into a fist. “Then stop these shitty politicians who already made statements because they saw something they could complain about. They are the reasons rumours like that spread so easily and people are scared!”</p>
<p>Masa raised his eyebrows. “Who in their right mind would comment on something this early?” Then his eyes widened with realization. “Oh.”</p>
<p>“I fucking hate this Shido,” Risa hissed through gritted teeth, “people are dying, let’s complain about infrastructure. Great, who exactly are you helping right now?”</p>
<p>“Risa”, Ann said, “try to be a bit more understanding. I know it’s frustrating - heck, I’m super frustrated too - but think of the mood on set. Akechi is working for Shido.”</p>
<p>“I don’t care if Akechi is in his agency or not, you can lead a successful media agency and still be a piece of shit.”</p>
<p>The door of the director’s booth opened, Yukari walking out with a blank-faced Akechi behind her. For a split second, the sight of him made Ren ache, a taste like the bitter reality of unripe fruit.</p>
<p>Risa pointed towards him. “And you can be financially dependent on a company and still know they’re doing horrible stuff in a human sense. Everyone knows the Shido Co. is fishy as fuck.”</p>
<p>Yukari called out to them, telling everyone to get back to their positions. The crew settled back into the workspace, the air still filled with a nervous energy.</p>
<p>Akechi got back on his red X made of tape, sinking on his knees. Ren felt weird seeing him on the ground again, deciding to crouch next to him before they started again. “Are you alright?”</p>
<p>“Yes. We’ll start again at the point where Crow was already struck down, that’s why I’m on the floor.”</p>
<p>Calm and professional. It seems like Ren’s worry was for nothing. But the ache he felt upon seeing Akechi stepping out of the booth was real, and he couldn’t let it go. “If you want to talk about anything, I’m here.”</p>
<p>“What?” Akechi asked, his voice a surprised whisper.</p>
<p>“Because of the train incident, or anything …”</p>
<p>Akechi simply stared at his face for a moment, slightly startled. “Ah yes, the incident. Yukari and I read about it in the booth … It’s truly devastating. I hope the authorities will move on quickly with their investigation.”</p>
<p>It seems like Akechi really just wanted to concentrate on the scene, his headspace already given to Crow. Ren was kind of disappointed and immediately felt bad about feeling that way. He had secretly wished for the news to have scratched open an unknown side of Akechi for him to explore, and now that he was denied it, desperation was taking hold in him.</p>
<p>Ren got back into his position, trying to settle into Joker’s skin.</p>
<p>Him still feeling horrible would do little good for the shoot. But he couldn’t deny the reality of it. He knew he still could play it cool, but this whole need for Akechi was slowly messing with him.</p>
<p>“Okay, everyone.” Yukari had placed herself on stage, looking around into the faces of the crew and actors, already weary from today’s events. “I know the news was horrible, but we cannot do anything about it at this point. Let’s try to channel our energy into something that will enrich the ones trying to save the lives of the ones hurt in the accident, the ones trying to figure out what actually happened and preventing something like this to occur again.” She took a deep breath. “Let’s create something they happily come home to after a long day of work. This is the kind of magic we can cast.”</p>
<p>She walked up to the Phantom Thieves. “We’re skipping the first conversation for now. I want to try something out with the middle part, the conversation that takes place between the first and the second battle scene, right before Crow’s transformation. Do you have any questions or need to go through lines again?”</p>
<p>The cast shook their heads; they all had prepared the complete scene for today anyway. Some started to shift their stances with the help of the continuity supervisor, going into the position they would land on at the end of the first fight scene. Since Joker’s got a cut by Crow’s saber in the first battle, they gave Ren the damaged version of his coat to put on for the newly scheduled shots.</p>
<p>After the departments completed their check-ins, Yukari looked into the actors’ faces one last time, smiling.</p>
<p>They could do it.</p>
<p>"Episode 10, scene 24C, Take 1."</p>
<p>Joker was looking down on Crow, the one he had just struck down. Defeated in battle. The one he had —</p>
<p>“Action!”</p>
<p>“Damn it!” Crow was slamming the ground with his fists.</p>
<p>The assistant director read out the lines for Morgana. The exhaustion from the fight making their lines more airy than usual, Navi and Queen shared their observations about Crow's curse, the secret power of his Persona that drove people to despair.</p>
<p>Crow tried to stand up, but toppled forwards instead. “Tch … I’ll kill you …” The mad growl of a ticking time-bomb. “You’re all gonna die …!”</p>
<p>“Will you please stop? You’re fighting the wrong people!” There was nothing corny about Panther’s line - she was suffering with him, dreading the future that laid in front of them. “We both hate the same guy! Why do we have to go against each other?!”</p>
<p>Queen, Skull and Navi tried to convince him that fighting them was useless, that there was still hope for retribution. Fumiko read out Morgana’s next line. “And you don’t really hate Joker, do you? That smile before we fought … isn’t that how you really feel?”</p>
<p>Crow grinded his teeth together so hard, Joker’s own jaw clenched upon hearing it.</p>
<p>“Follow your true feelings! Even if you think people hate you or don't want you around, that's --"</p>
<p>"Shut up, shut up, shut up!"</p>
<p>Crow suddenly lifted one knee, pulled up by a dangerous force. His fingers were curled like claws, tense and sharp.</p>
<p>"Teammates?! Friends?!" The words were pushed out with force, vicious balls of bile, spit landing in front of the Phantom Thieves. He straightened his back, lifting his chin just to look down on them through the opening in his red mask for a split second before his body threatened to fall forward again. "To hell with that!"</p>
<p>Joker felt his eyes piercing through him, and his heart skipped a beat. They were unlike anything he had seen in his life, a fire that only knew how to cremate, watery drops of hurt sizzling away at the touch.</p>
<p>Joker involuntarily raised his arm. Ready to protect himself.</p>
<p>Open for an embrace.</p>
<p>“Why am I …”</p>
<p>Crow pressed his lips together, opened them again with a groan.</p>
<p>Joker could feel Crow’s aura tearing at the line between them, trying to force him closer and to rip him apart.</p>
<p>“Why am I …”</p>
<p>His fingers started shaking, his breath loud and ragged.</p>
<p>“Why am I …”</p>
<p>He sunk down on his knees with a loud, painful-sounding <em>thump</em>, raising his hands to his mask. Still shaking, his nails clenched into his hair, pulling at the roots.</p>
<p>A deformed hole opened right under the mask, releasing a damaged scream, cut with slashes of something inhuman.</p>
<p>“Cut!”</p>
<p>“We’re cut!”</p>
<p>The door of the booth slammed open and Yukari called out to Fumiko. “Get the set medic, now!” She ran over to the stage. “Akechi-kun, we’re cut!”</p>
<p>Ren felt like he was slipping out some kind of dream. Akechi was crouching on the floor, his hands still pressed against his mask, emitting a slow, steady wail that reminded Ren of a hurt animal, waiting for another clean shot to end its suffering. He rushed towards him, but his hand stopped in midair before his fingers could press against his shoulders, feeling like Akechi was caught in an invisible cocoon he had no right to enter.</p>
<p>The medic appeared at Akechi’s side and sat down beside him. “Sir, are you alright?”</p>
<p>Ren felt a hand on his arm. Yukari shook her head, pulling him away from the scene. Ren let himself get dragged around; he still felt kind of hazy and light in his feet.</p>
<p>Yukari announced that they were wrapping up shooting for today - she couldn’t seem to give the right orders with everyone broken up over the news situation and deeply apologized for her inability to deal with the current circumstances. Fumiko ensured everyone would get cabs to get them home as the situation on the public transport was still unclear.</p>
<p>When Ren left the dressing room, his head was still buzzing with thoughts. The cold Akechi in the first conversation didn’t feel like Crow at all. But the broken down Akechi in the second one did still fit with his image of the character. It was as if Akechi only acted out another logical conclusion to the previous scenes, but the script wanted him to follow the furious path because it was the more interesting one.</p>
<p>He looked down at his hand, it felt pale and naked without the red glove. He wondered if he’d influenced Akechi by raising his arm in the scene, but it was not like he had planned it. It had simply been a natural reaction to Akechi’s action, a pull of a string directly attached to his heart.</p>
<p>Ren tried to speak to Ann on their way to the cabs, but her eyes were glossy with tears, and he couldn’t do anything but offer her a shoulder to cry on. The day had been demanding in more ways than one, and there was no end to long shooting days in sight. Especially now that they had to move the scenes they couldn’t work on today somewhere into the rest of the schedule.</p>
<p>Inside the cab, Ren only realized how hot his face was when he pressed his forehead to the cold window. He almost jolted as his phone rang.</p>
<p>It was Yoshida. One half of his mind still hanging in the scene, it felt strange to see the name of the politician show up on screen. But he had to move forward. They’ve greeted each other briefly, both of their words still heavy with the news from the morning.</p>
<p>“It’s best if you stay home today. Whether this was an intentional act or not, we always have to consider the possibility of copycats being driven to action by these incidents.”</p>
<p>“I’m on my way home now,” Ren said. “You still have to work, I suppose?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. I would rather not. They expect us to give out statements already, but there’s nothing to give but condolences. Other parties are moving along with loaded accusations already. The United Future Party didn’t think twice about attacking the ministry of transportation, even though the investigation of the incident hasn’t even started yet!”  Yoshida sighed. “Sorry for getting so agitated. I just can’t believe that there are people in the parliament who see incidents like this happen and only think of their own gain.”</p>
<p>“You can vent to me all day long,” Ren said, and it was true. It kept his little flame of hope towards politics alive to hear Yoshida talk like this.</p>
<p>“I actually wanted to call you because of an unrelated issue. But of course you cannot talk about problematic issues in politics without bringing up The United Future Party lately, so …” Yoshida cleared his throat. “Do you remember the incidents with the politician I told you about?”</p>
<p>“Of course,” Ren said, “The one that was bribed, right? But I haven’t asked Futaba about it or anything like that yet.”</p>
<p>“That’s alright. I said I would come up to you if I think it would be helpful. And I have some information which makes it indispensable to research further.”</p>
<p>He told Ren he was able to connect to a person that was excluded from the United Future Party a bit more privately who admitted that he had been blackmailed into confessing his misdeeds and giving up his position. And even though he wasn’t specific about it, Yoshida could tell from their conversation that the person that blackmailed him was working closely with the media.</p>
<p>With the media. Huh. That was still a very wide net to cast, but Ren already had an idea on how to go about it. He expected the additional task to make his mind heavier, but instead it felt like Yoshida had poured him a refreshing cup of juice. “I’ll look into it and get back to you.”</p>
<p>“You have my deepest gratitude, Ren-kun. Be sure not to endanger yourself, alright? Your condition is more important than some shit we could get on Shido. You still need to play the hero.”</p>
<p>Ren was pleased to hear him talk about <em>shit they could get on Shido</em>. Yoshida really didn’t mince his words when he was talking to him privately. Yoshida would have to be cautious when their relationship continued so he wouldn’t ruin his public image again. “I’ll look into it.”</p>
<p>Fortunately, Yoshida had managed to get the politician to tell him on which date he was blackmailed. Ren would ask Futaba to get his cellular location data and figure out where he had been that day and if he could’ve attended any events that might’ve been a point of interest for media people as well.</p>
<p>Ren couldn’t imagine any politician doing movements like that being so careless, but it was worth a try to search for a direct connection to Shido.</p>
<p>He wondered how many other politicians had their own media agencies.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I struggled with this scene so much, I hope it ended up somewhat readable! &lt;3<br/>Congrats for making it through, you are ready to have long workdays on set now</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Bare Necessities</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter contains explicit self-harm. If you want to skip this content, I recommend moving ahead at the line "The debris might suffocate him one day. Still, he was grateful" and rejoin after the scene break line.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On the cab home, the conversation he had with Yukari during the break kept replaying in his head.</p><p>She had been rather diplomatic, told him he’d gone in a different direction than she had expected with the scene, and asked him to explain. He merely said he’d wanted to try another approach and apologized for diverting from what they had agreed on when they went through his lines. Yukari tried to seem understanding, but Akechi felt the poison called disappointment seeping into the air. What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t admit that the moment he touched upon the lines in the way he thought Crow would, his own heart seemed to split, leaving him unable to move through the scene.</p><p>Of course, the second half had been even worse. Akechi was confident he could make a solid case for Crow’s motivation during the scene to keep him on track, fueled by anger rather than something more intimate, but the breakdown had not been intended.</p><p>His face was still growing hot with shame. He had completely lost himself for a few seconds, and still felt repulsed by the sounds he’d made. It was as if he’d left his own body for a few seconds, looking at himself, laughing about how ridiculous this was, yet he was unable to stop, the cries pushed out by something greater than himself.</p><p>He never wanted anyone to see him like that - hell, if someone else acted like that in front of him he’d probably avoid that person for a lifetime - and while he thought he was able to convince Yukari that he just had gotten too invested in Crow’s emotional state, her eyes seemed to tell a very different story than her reassuring words. They were the tired eyes of someone who’d realize they had gotten someone who they wouldn’t be able to work with, someone who would turn every carefully planned step of their plan upside down. A nuisance.</p><p>It would be hard to restore his reputation for being an excellent actor now that he broke down in front of so many other people who had relied on him.</p><p>The radio program was interrupted by yet another news update. As of now, 80 people had been injured in the train wreck, some of them with life-threatening consequences. Akechi swallowed the bile rising in his throat.</p><p>Maybe he was weak after all. He couldn’t be an agent of actual chaos and a puppet in a play at the same time, dancing around only to be shot down by the hero.</p><p>The news anchor was bringing up the problems with the deteriorating train tracks and the ATC systems. Shido’s quick response had been very smart - he was already controlling the narrative.</p><p>But Akechi would write the last page of his story.</p><p>He balled his fingers into a fist. They had finally stopped shaking.</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>His hands stopped shaking, but his mind and body still felt riled up, his mouth raw. Back in his dark apartment he immediately poured himself water from the tap, downing two big glasses right after one another. The drugs he got from Kawasaki had passed his throat for three days in a row now. Even though they really helped him stay awake and work past his limits, and the repercussions had been much less aggressive than with cocaine, he was ready to note down being irritated as a side effect.</p><p><em>Stop being such a whiny asshole, </em>he told himself, <em>you cannot get rid of your failures by pushing the blame around.</em></p><p>A waste of humanity, that was what he was.</p><p>He should be grateful that Kawasaki even had offered him the drugs. Of course they would work excellently - he had based them on the research that Wakaba did, the great Wakaba, because of course - like an actual human being that was worth living on this earth - her legacy still had merit up to this day, even though she died so many years ago.</p><p>
  <em>Because I killed her</em>
</p><p>The drug he had administered to the train conductor had been based on her research too. No one would be able to develop something as precise in both timing and effect without remarkable efforts.</p><p>
  <em>It was an accident I was</em>
</p><p>Tasteless and transparent, just a few drops. Akechi had to supervise the glass of beer the whole evening. He had been ready to punch it out of her hands if the mother would’ve attempted to raise it to her lips.</p><p>
  <em>happy when she was dead she said herself she wanted me to determine the dosage she trusted me and I still killed her she used me Shido used me I did</em>
</p><p>The girl was shining like the sun when Akechi came in. For a split-second, he entertained the lie that he could actually move people, make them happy. Then he saw his face in the mirror of the hallway, the face that was all his and an utter disgrace to the truth.</p><p>
  <em>offer my help every decision is my own would I am my own person would mother be</em>
</p><p><strike>Her dad</strike> The target seemed very caring, he was trying to be home a lot since her younger brother was born a few years ago. Their father would’ve left them eventually anyway, it made little difference if it was through death or being jailed in a psychiatric ward for the rest of his ruined life, Akechi just sped up the process. They would survive, the girl with the bright eyes and her brother, they would survive, they would be loved, they still had a mother after all, a mother that would be</p><p>
  <em><strike>alive</strike> proud of me if I weren’t such a failure I was devastated I was free she kept pushing me Shido said it was better this way I needed more time to act I was free she didn’t seem like she was dead she looked like she was sleeping I didn’t do anything wrong but I should’ve known it was just like this with —</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Just like — she had been —</em>
</p><p>kind to them, and caring. Akechi wondered if his own mother had been like that as well. The few memories he had were warm and hopeful, leaving him starved every time he noticed that they slowly began to vanish. He still dared to find solace in it, but you couldn’t make a case with this little evidence.</p><p>Memories were made to be distorted, becoming replaced with little fragments of imagination every time they were recalled, a bleeding ship of Theseus.</p><p>He had been so happy about the pink bath water when he first saw it. Excited, even. Mama had liked to surprise him when he didn’t expect it.</p><p>When he brought his fingertips to his cheeks, they came away wet.</p><p>Disgusting.</p><p>He was standing over the sink, hands gripping the sides, waiting for the drops to slide down his chin, vanishing in the drain.</p><p>In his mind, it was the void again. The third image he carried around.</p><p>The spot shining on him. The empty stage.</p><p>A safe place. An anchor to anguish.</p><p>He sat on the floor, crouching.</p><p>A cold finger settled where hair was supposed to guard his neck.</p><p>The silver barrel of a gun.</p><p>He didn’t need to turn around to know who held the gun. He’d recognize his own despair anywhere.</p><p>The images all had their own, individual taste. Different colored markers. Even when he shoved them away, they clung to him, coated his skin like old chalk marks.</p><p>The debris might suffocate him one day. Still, he was grateful.</p><p>They had replaced much worse. His mind was doing an excellent job, he decided.</p><p>He still needed to get rid of them.</p><p>So he did what he had learned was the quickest and most effective option to release the pressure inside himself.</p><p>He opened the kitchen drawer, took out the knife he had cleaned the night before. He might be desperate, but he did not want to end up in a hospital with an infection and answer nosy questions.</p><p>Unfortunately he had been cutting into his favorite spot far too many times lately, the area right under the cubital. He had to go a little lower this time, but it still had to be a spot that wasn’t so exposed.</p><p>He settled the blade on his arm, savoring in the sharp cold of metal upon skin.</p><p>The relief was not as flush and sweet there, but he still felt some kind of release. He both rejoiced in the ebb and flow of pain and the way the blood swelled from the thin line.</p><p>There was a brief period at the end of high school, where he ran his arms under ice cold water when he felt like he needed to cut himself, but it somehow made him way more ashamed about the need to quench the urge than his carefully devised process.</p><p>He will never forget the disgusted look of the first visagist that recognized the white line on his arm, hiding it with practiced precision. <em>Great, another fucked up kid trying to make it as an actor. </em>He had started to cut into his thighs then when he really couldn’t help it, but it just didn’t feel the same.</p><p>When he cleaned himself up, he felt blissfully calm.</p><p>The screaming continued somewhere at the back of his mind.</p><p>He took out a jasmine-scented cream that was gifted to him on the set of an advertisement campaign a few months before. He still remembered the tagline.</p><p>
  <em>The scent of hope, blossoming between your fingers.</em>
</p><p>He carefully massaged the cream into his hands, his mind empty except for the way his fingers rubbed circles into his palm.</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>Sae had been surprised but not unhappy when he came in during the afternoon. An unexpected hand to help her with the huge stack of work that was continuously reaching new heights was always welcome. Akechi was lucky she was in her office on his sudden day-off from shooting. He had expected her to be busy with the fallout from the incident this morning, but while she was ready to be called into the investigation later, it seemed like they didn’t move far enough yet to summon her.</p><p>She complained about a student that was annoying her ever since Akechi wrote a rebuttal to the treatise he had written, demanding another answer to his corrections. Akechi told her he would gladly take it upon himself and opened the new files on the work computer. The law texts they exchanged seemed like mindless games compared to what he did at night, their impact on the people way slower than the movements Shido had prepared. He wrote until his wrist started hurting, earning a cup of tea placed before him.</p><p>Pouring tea was something he was usually expected to do. It was the highest form of approval Sae could give him.</p><p>And it would actually taste good if he weren’t doing it to finally have the office for himself.</p><p>“I saw your show.” Sae said, and Akechi perked up. “It’s kind of fitting you’re playing a detective. But I wish they would provide a more realistic image of the job.”</p><p>“It’s entertainment. You cannot expect people to get interested in -” he motioned towards the huge stack of papers, “- this.”</p><p>“Still, even the media has a certain responsibility. I hope everyone involved realizes that,” Sae continued, “especially with the incident that happened this morning.” She probably referred to the Persona series portraying a person installing a bomb at a concert because they had been cursed by a mysterious power.</p><p>The curse wielded by his character, Crow. “So the police have already determined it was an intentional act, then?”</p><p>“No,” Sae said, “The investigation has barely begun. But we have to seriously entertain the possibility. It will be hard to get to the bottom of this since …” She sighed and shook her head. “Sorry. This is sensitive information even for our office, so I will have to refrain from telling you about it. It will be in the news soon enough. For now, please excuse me. Good work today.”</p><p>Akechi felt a rush of fear rising in his chest, wondering if they’d found any remains of the drug in the train conductor’s blood levels. “Could I stay here a little longer? I still want to finish this report.”</p><p>“Sure. Just make sure to tell the facility manager to lock up after you’ve left.” Sae grabbed her bag, sliding it over her shoulder. “And I meant to congratulate you on the show. I’ve started watching it because a friend of my sister’s is in it, but it was refreshing to see you doing something else than worrying about paragraphs.”</p><p>Sae closed the door behind her, and Akechi sat in silence for a few minutes. She was just like these other people he had crossed paths with - the ones that only saw a single side of him, perfected for interaction with them, ready to serve whatever was requested, expected to do it flawlessly. But if she knew about his failure on set, it would diminish her image of him in this office as well.</p><p>And she started watching because Ren was a friend of Makoto. Of course. He was sure she’d been impressed by his acting as well. Akechi couldn’t believe how well he was doing for being a rookie. Of course, he struggled in the beginning, but it was nothing that couldn’t be shoved away with patience and experience.</p><p>Ren didn't seem to have any patience, but he collected the experience and moved past his mistakes, as quick as a wink. Akechi could feel rage flaring up inside of him again. He carried himself with so much confidence lately, Yukari herself had said she couldn’t believe it was his first project. Akechi could feel his form rising over him, burying him like a shadow buried the light.</p><p>But no. <em>He</em> was the shadow, the poison that had to be stripped from this earth. Ren probably just took his rightful place. It was as if the world was preparing to move on without Akechi, opening the curtains for the last act.</p><p>When he closed his eyes, he could see Ren staring at him — no, it was <em>Joker</em>, taken aback by the true side of Crow. Akechi had put so much thought, so much force into playing him, but Ren still managed to rise to the occasion, to be a worthy opponent. And in the end, it had been Akechi who slipped out of the scene.</p><p>For Ren, acting was a choice. For Akechi, it was a necessity.</p><p>So how?</p><p>How did he manage to surpass him that easily?</p><p>Akechi clawed his fingers, repressing the urge to shove his cup off the desk, raise the keyboard just to smash it into the wood, looking for a sound like bones breaking.</p><p>He was so fucking pathetic. He hated Ren so much, yet when he thought of him, he couldn’t deny the thoughts that kept returning to the back of his head, the ways Ren had looked at him like he was actually enjoying the time spent together. And Akechi got even more frustrated because he found he was actually <em>enjoying </em>their conversations as well. He only got close to him in the first place because he wanted to throw him off his pitiful leading-role-game, but now that there was no way out of his villain suit, only the false pretense to be with him remained. The need for tender touch and soft words.</p><p>Akechi groaned and pulled out his phone. It was already pretty late, past 10 pm. Perfect. He dialed Ren’s number and only had to wait a few seconds for him to pick up.</p><p>“Hello Ren, it’s Akechi. I was wondering if you’re free tonight?”</p><p>“Oh, I’ve already made plans. But … if it’s urgent, I can come over.” The sound of a girl saying something rose through the static. Akechi’s heart tightened.</p><p>“Are you okay? If you don’t want to be alone, I can still be there, really.”</p><p>“No, it’s nothing special,” Akechi laughed. “I apologize if I scared you today, I just went severely overboard in my depiction of Crow. If Yukari hadn’t called the day off, I would’ve been ready for the next take in no time.”</p><p>“I see,” Ren said, and his tone was too neutral for Akechi to determine whether he was convinced. “Look, I have to get off now, but I wanted to tell you … You’re really an amazing actor. Even though we haven’t finished the scene today, I don’t think I could’ve done what you did.”</p><p>“You flatter me,” Akechi said, “but you really shouldn’t take someone like me as a role model. A good actor should be able to freely go into and out of emotional states at his will.”</p><p>“I still think it was special,” Ren said, and the last word pulled a warm ache out of Akechi’s chest. “Okay, my sister is complaining already. See you on set tomorrow.”</p><p>“Of course. Call time is at 7, don’t forget.”</p><p>“I won’t.”</p><p>Akechi put his phone away. So he was spending time with his sister. Alright.</p><p>It’s not as if they could’ve met right away anyway. Akechi still had some things left on his agenda.</p><p>He stood up and walked over to Sae’s desk, pulling out the third drawer on the right. He took out a little black notebook from it and thumbed through, landing on the page he had made a little incision with his nail before. After a list of notes from a case that was long past, there was a little scribble regarding the password her account had been assigned.</p><p>In a way, everything had already turned out perfectly for Shido. Two nights ago, after he had his dinner duel with Ren where the man foolishly disqualified himself, he had been called for a meeting and was told to hurry up with the Okumura issue.</p><p>Now that the shooting day was called off and he logged into Sae’s desktop, he was ready to figure out Makoto’s address and secure some unambiguous pictures.</p><p>Akechi knew Kunikazu Okumura wouldn’t be very happy to be threatened over his daughter’s relationship being revealed to the public.</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>“And there haven’t been any other events in the vicinity?”</p><p>“Naw, I’m pretty sure by now. I mean I can keep looking, but I don’t think it’s worth that missing 1% for a 100% guarantee.”</p><p>Futaba was closing her geodata list, turning around towards Ren on her gaming chair.</p><p>“Okay.” He said. That secured Yoshida’s suspicions. On the day the politician he told him about was blackmailed, he had been in a hotel where the Shido Co. Agency had set up a little reception for influential people to schmooze around.</p><p>He had to get up in six hours, so he refrained from calling Akechi again, but he was sure he could ask him to try and figure out who could be a possible culprit. Even if he had no idea he could probably get some information which would make it possible for Futaba to breach relevant security and get more information on the people that were working directly for Shido, not just the ones who were publicly listed for his agency and managed by people who only heard about politics if they had time to check the news in between scheduling all their talent.</p><p>Maybe he should just approach Akechi on set tomorrow. They were slated to work on the fight scenes for the second half of the engine-room scene — seems like Yukari wasn’t ready to go back to the conversations they originally wanted to shoot today just yet, even though Akechi had claimed he would’ve been okay if they would've just continued shooting.</p><p>Well, Yukari was still human, and the incident this morning might’ve affected her more than she let on. Being a particularly empathetic director seemed what made the series work so well so far, so Ren didn’t want to complain about her decisions.</p><p>Still he felt like he would’ve wanted to continue shooting too, to explore what was really going on in Crow. What was going on between Crow and Joker.</p><p><em>I apologize if I scared you today</em>, Akechi had said.</p><p>To be honest, Akechi <em>had</em> scared him. Whatever he turned into that minute he was breaking down, it had been incredibly unnerving. Still he kept thinking back to that moment with a very weird kind of glee.</p><p>He had longed for Akechi to show another side of his, and Ren got it. Even though it might’ve been a very rare, not as popular picture in his kaleidoscope. He still preferred the Akechi that was sitting at the counter with the relaxing yet captivating presence of a cat, enjoying the coffee that he’d made him, but it was like the image had gotten richer in color.</p><p>“Hello? Turning off standby mode!”</p><p>Futaba was waving both of her hands in front of him, waking him from the daydream.</p><p>“Sorry,” Ren said. “What were you saying?”</p><p>“You promised we’ll try to clear the next stage of <em>Feathermen Dancing All Night</em>!”</p><p>“Alright,” Ren said and slided down from his folding chair to the ground. The console was already booted, the main menu showing up with the remixed show’s opening.</p><p>“<em>Hero ni naritaaaai kimi gaaa …</em>” Futaba moved her arms wildly, imitating the gestures of the main characters. “<em>Hero ni naretaraaa …</em>”</p><p>She leaned towards him when they entered the character selection and Ren was jumping around between Feathermen Red and Grey Pigeon, a DLC character.</p><p>“You know, auditions for the lead of the new Featherman series have opened, right?” Futaba selected a stage for them to dance on. “Maybe you could get me into the series as a supervisor. They made such a fatal mistake with the weapon of Blue Jinx last season.”</p><p>Ren smiled at her and looked back at the screen as they started to dance. He had told her before he wasn’t sure if he would continue acting if this series ended, but if it made her happy, he would gladly audition.</p><p>But his thoughts were with Yoshida, the one that proved to Ren that there were actual heroes fighting for justice; and with Akechi, the one he wanted to see portraying an honest and good-hearted hero of justice once.</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>“Eat this!”</p><p>Black Mask slashed his serrated sword towards him and Joker barely avoided the stab, the sword hitting the ground instead of him, causing Black Mask to rise again like a roaring, raging animal, rushing towards him yet again. Joker raised his arm, dagger in hand as if ready to fight him head on, then moved aside a split second before Black Mask was supposed to meet his body, causing him to stumble and fall.</p><p>Black Mask managed to turn on his back and raise his sword before Joker pushed his arm back down, putting the blade of his dagger against his exposed neck.</p><p>“Checkmate.”</p><p>Joker stared into Crow’s eyes through his helmet, two helpless dots between smears of blood. He closed them with an exhale, refusing to let the world see the sadness hidden within. The sword rolled out of Black Mask’s hand.</p><p>“Cut!”</p><p>“We’re cut.”</p><p>Ren sighed and raised his torso, putting the dagger into the hands of the props woman that moved next to him. He pulled off his mask and wiped the sweat off his forehead, suddenly aware of how horrible his sweaty hair must look like against his skin.</p><p>“Uhm, Ren.”</p><p>“Yes?” He looked down at Akechi, who still seemed to have retained some tension from their fight in his muscles, his breath heavy.</p><p>“I can’t get up like this.”</p><p>“Oh, right.” Ren stood up and moved aside. “Sorry.”</p><p>The prop woman helped Akechi to get his helmet with the broken visor off so he wouldn’t accidentally cut himself. Under it, even though his hair was flattened to his face, they had made Akechi’s face look just as attractive as in his princely outfit, only his helmet showing signs of the fight with the fake blood.</p><p>He had been shown the Black Mask outfit in concept art before, but Ren was still surprised to see it fitting Akechi so well, hugging all his curves and lines tightly. Akechi himself seemed very satisfied, walking around the stage in his heels with a certain smooth lightness that he only let go of the moment he had stepped on stage to record the fighting motions — Black Mask’s steps were heavy and Akechi’s movement completely changed, becoming more erratic and unpredictable compared to what he showed as Crow - and he managed to keep that energy even though they were doing only fully choreographed fights.</p><p>Yukari finished checking something with camerawoman B and came up to them. “Congratulations, you two are wrapped for today. Good work! We still have to check something before we can finish your schedules for tomorrow, so remember to check your mail.”</p><p>They thanked Yukari and went towards the dressing rooms - Akechi prancing in his heels like he was ready to walk into another scene, Ren rather sluggish and exhausted from shooting the fighting scenes.</p><p>“Ren-kun, do you have a moment?”</p><p>When he turned around, Kirijo-san was standing in front of him, the woman with the long red hair and the white fur coat that had taken a liking to him during the audition. He nodded and excused himself from Akechi, who had stopped just in front of his dressing room.</p><p>Kirijo led him towards one of the trailers outside of the hall they shot the engine room scenes in, a small room they were using to host sponsors coming to check what was happening on set. She motioned for him to sit down on a foldable chair while she was settling onto a padded bench.</p><p>She crossed her legs and looked directly into his eyes. “Ren-kun. I’ve been meaning to talk to you for some time now. Is everything alright on set?”</p><p>“Yeah, why?”</p><p>“It’s nothing bad. I just wanted to check in on you. Have you decided on an agency to represent you yet?”</p><p>Ren shook his head. Producers had been forwarding offers that came in for him via mail, and during the promo shootings he was already handed some business cards, but his mind and body had been so occupied that he didn’t even think about it once the little cards with names and numbers wandered into his bag.</p><p>“I would be very glad to welcome you into our agency. Of course, you don’t have to decide right away.” She offered a business card of her own, frosted blue with silver letters that spelled SEES on top of it. “We are actively working on establishing shooting schedules that don’t have 14-18 hour workdays everyday, but it has been rather hard with the rising demand of streaming services.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Ren said and took the card with two hands, feeling a bit bad he didn’t have his own business card to offer, even though he knew it was a mere formality.</p><p>“You must be exhausted. I heard what happened yesterday, but half a day off doesn’t count as much if you’ve been shooting as long as you did.”</p><p>“It’s okay,” Ren said. “It might be demanding, but it’s fun.”</p><p>“I was able to look into some dailies. The first episodes already look fine, but it seems like you’ve been able to improve yourself steadily.” She folded her hands on top of her thighs. “I’ve been especially fascinated by how you’ve been working with Akechi. Not many people are able to hold their own in scenes with him.”</p><p>“Uhm …” Ren had heard before that the scenes with Crow and Joker came across as rather intense, but it was never framed as an achievement he was personally responsible for. “I got to spend some time with Akechi privately. I think that helped with our connection.”</p><p>Kirijo-san was silent for a moment. “I see. I’m glad he has made a friend. He —”</p><p>There was an urgent knock at the door, someone calling for Kirijo-san.</p><p>She rose and opened a door, a PA standing in front of the trailer, clipboard under his arm. “Sorry for interrupting you. The TMPD is on set.”</p><p>Ren perked up. The Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department?</p><p>Kirijo-san stepped out of the trailer, Ren following her with swift feet, trying to keep up with her pace. “An accident? We have our own legal team to sort this out.”</p><p>“No, it seems unrelated to anything happening on set.”</p><p>They entered the hall again, the crew still buzzing as they worked on disassembling the set, Yukari in heated discussion with the sound director.</p><p>Two officers stood in the waiting room with their blue uniforms, telling someone to follow them. He could see Akechi between them, already changed into his casual clothes, a plastered smile on his face as he saw Kirijo-san approaching.</p><p>“Excuse me, I would like to be briefed on what’s happening here.”</p><p>“I’m sorry Miss, we have to take Goro Akechi in for questioning.”</p><p>“It’s nothing bad, Kirijo-san,” Akechi said, shrugging it off. “It’s just a formality. I’m happy if I’m able to help the investigation.”</p><p>“What kind of investigation?” Kirijo-san asked.</p><p>“Sorry Miss, we’re not allowed to disclose anything at this point. Thank you for your cooperation.”</p><p>They left the hall quickly, and Kirijo-san pulled out her phone, calling people at the gates to shield the officers and Akechi so they wouldn’t attract any attention from the media.</p><p>Even though Akechi had seemed unbothered by the police, Ren couldn’t imagine anyone not getting a little nervous about something like that. But the police probably had a multitude of cases they were investigating and needed input on, and Ren knew that Akechi was working with Makoto’s sister on some legal issues, so he could imagine a lot of different scenarios where Akechi had to provide very basic information to the police. He decided to text Akechi about it the moment he was able to leave the set.</p><p>The feeling that something was off had grabbed hold of him, putting its fickle seed into his heart.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Snare</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And we're at the last chapter at the day of posting - I'll try to get the remaining chapters done asap.</p><p>This chapter includes explicit sexual content. If you want to skip it, I recommend moving on to the next chapter after the line "... the sheer violence that seemed to wait for a moment to strike like a wrathful god on the bottom of the sea."</p><p>Rey has provided NSFW art for this chapter - the food will be linked in the end notes.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Akechi removed the hand that was placed on his thigh, gentle but determined.</p><p>“Apologies,” he said and pushed his chair back, grabbing his attaché case. “But I need to go to the bathroom.”</p><p>He sincerely hoped the geezer wouldn’t take it as an invitation to follow him. Tonight belonged to bribing Okumura alone; if Shido wanted him to fuck one of his sponsors ‘to keep their spirits up’ again, he would need to set up another meeting.</p><p>Over the marble sink of the restaurant bathroom, Akechi reviewed the night so far, assessing his chances. The reception that the Shido Co. Agency had set up in the hotel had been way too large, the whole restaurant hotel filled to the brim, but the guests had thinned out by now, with Okumura sitting on a table at the back with his associates. Akechi knew from previous encounters with him that drugging him wouldn’t work — he never had the chance to catch him alone, and the prospect of getting a secret deal with Shido hasn’t been enough to lure him into a private meeting.</p><p>He was a man who had everything he wanted.</p><p>So Akechi had to take from him.</p><p>He thought he was lucky that Okumura drank so much that night, but he still carried himself very well. Maybe he needed this amount of alcohol to function normally and symptoms only showed up when he <em>wasn’t </em>drinking.</p><p>He guessed it was too late to get close to Haru and ask her about it.</p><p>The pictures he had taken of her and Makoto in front of the love hotel were worth the little sleep he got because he still tried to catch them after his shooting wrapped up. These lovebirds couldn’t wait to get into their rented rooms to make out.</p><p>Since he wasn’t able to get close to Okumura in the restaurant, he had to wait until he got to his room. But Akechi didn’t even know which floor he was headed to, and the hotel was still large enough that he at least needed to know the approximate room number to catch him before he vanished behind the door.</p><p>The glass doors that connected the restaurant to the hotel lobby opened with a small noise, and Akechi put on his most charming smile, approaching the lady sitting at the front desk.</p><p>“Excuse me Miss,” he held up the attaché case for the receptionist to see, “I was asked to deliver this to the room of Kunikazu Okumura.”</p><p>The woman looked up, a flash of something like recognition passing her face, then quietly vanishing. Akechi wasn’t so famous that his name and occupation was common knowledge, but his look still screamed ‘celebrity’, which caused most to do a double take.</p><p>“Sure. Please wait for a second.” She tapped around on her keyboard, stopped and put two fingers to her chin. “We do have a reservation for Okumura-sama, but he hasn’t checked in yet.”</p><p>“Ah, that shouldn’t be a problem. I was especially instructed to deliver it so it would be available to Okumura-san as soon as he enters the room.”</p><p>“Hm …” The woman looked at her screen, then returned her gaze to him. “I can give you the room number, but I’m afraid I cannot share a key card with you, so you would have to wait until he unlocks the door himself.”</p><p>Perfect. “That’s all I could’ve hoped for.” He rewarded her with a wink as she told him the room number, and he proceeded to the elevator, rising up to the upper floors.</p><p>The hallway leading up to Okumura’s suite was lined with red carpet, adorned with golden patterns. The door to the room itself was made of heavy carved wood, unexpected for a rather modern hotel like this. At the end of the hallways was a glass door opening up to the rooftop bar, still filled with people in pretty dresses and suits.</p><p>Akechi passed a corner that was not as well lit as the hallway itself, set the case down and leaned against the wall. If someone passed on their search for the toilet he would just look like another guest, but he couldn’t risk anyone remembering him standing there, waiting for his prey.</p><p>As he settled into the half darkness, his breath slowing down, the thrumming of his heart grew stronger. Tonight would mark another life changed, another victim on Shido’s way to the top. He wondered how many were left for him to finally reach the pinnacle, how many more missions he should take on before delivering the final blow. He pulled his gloves from the pockets in his jacket, letting the leather cover his fingers.</p><p>The days were so long, eventful and tiring that the weight started to become unbearable, even with the election drawing near. <em>Because</em> of the election drawing near.</p><p><em>Be patient,</em> he told himself, <em>if you surrender now, what was it all for?</em></p><p>He stared at the ceiling, little lightbulbs scattered over it like stars. The skies of Tokyo were high.</p><p>The elevator doors opened with a <em>ding</em>, and steps settled onto the carpet, slow and steady.</p><p>Akechi took the chance and walked out from his shadowy corner, stepping onto the golden patterns.</p><p>“I’m not interested in Shido’s proposals.”</p><p>Okumura didn’t even bother looking at him and simply approached his door, keycard against the wooden handle.</p><p>Akechi rushed up to him. “I’m not here for Shido’s proposals. His legislation is not very effective compared to the suggestions of other members in The United Future Party.”</p><p>The admission caused Okumura to turn his head towards him, forehead laced with deep furrows. “What do you want, boy?”</p><p>Akechi let his lips catch a smile. “I’ve been attending classes with your daughter, Haru Okumura. She is very lovely and a fast learner.”</p><p>“What are you implying?”</p><p>He let Okumura stand in silence for a bit, allowing his mind to do work Akechi wouldn’t be able to do. He waited until the man’s eyes darkened, his mouth opened again, and offered the treat.</p><p>“I have some information on your daughter that would be very interesting to the public.” He batted his eyelashes, enjoying a play of innocence they both knew was fake. “I’m sure you’re too sleepy to look at it before I give it to the press tomorrow morning, but I wanted to at least offer to talk about it.”</p><p>Okumura opened the door, motioning for him to come in before he closed it after himself again. The lights lit up automatically, revealing a luxurious set up with a canopy bed, a lounge made of green and gold furniture to sit in with an opulent bar to its side, and a wide wall that was all glass and night sky. A night here probably cost more than what Akechi earned in a month.</p><p>He would enjoy crushing this disgrace to humanity.</p><p>Okumura settled on a big leather chair. “You’re a bastard for getting my daughter into this.”</p><p>Bastard. Akechi was happy about every speck of truth left in its wake. He just smiled, sitting down on the couch opposite him.</p><p>Okumura was looking at him, hands folded in his lap, waiting.</p><p>“They say a picture is worth more than a thousand words.” Akechi said slowly, savouring every vocal. Okumura leaned forward just a tiny bit.</p><p>He opened the attaché case and took out the pictures, laying them down on the sideboard by the furniture. He opened his hands. “Go ahead. Take a good look.”</p><p>Okumura adjusted his glasses and took one of the pictures into his hand, his face blank. If the depiction shocked him, he didn’t let it show.</p><p>He stared at it for a few seconds, then laid it down on the sideboard again. “Are all pictures like this?”</p><p>“There is one of them kissing. The girlfriend is the daughter of a high-ranking prosecutor.”</p><p>“Don’t call her a <em>girlfriend</em>.” His words suddenly turned sharp, rigor lining his eyes. “I’ll pay.”</p><p>That was fast. That was <em>easy</em>. It was just the work Akechi was cut out for, after all.</p><p>“You will accept the sponsoring contract a man called Nishiki will personally deliver to your office.” Akechi stood up, a charming smile grazing his lips. “If we don’t have the signature by night, the pictures will go online.”</p><p>“I need at least one day to review the contract. You cannot expect me just to go with anything.”</p><p>The smile was shoved away. “Are you saying you don’t care for the impact this will have on your daughter and on your board of directors?”</p><p>“I predict a dip in stocks when this … ‘information’ is made public, but we will recover. Even then, someone like Haru is replaceable. We don’t even know if the money we invested into coaching and marketing her will have sizable returns.”</p><p>Akechi’s mind raced through some scenarios, settling on cutting losses. “Then we will wait for you to review the contract. But no longer than 24 hours.” He held out his hand, seeking a physical confirmation to seal the deal when they didn’t have hankos at hand.</p><p>“Fine.” Okumura slowly stood up, reaching his hand forward.</p><p>He looked askance for a second, as if Akechi standing in front of him was replaced by a complete stranger.</p><p>Taking in a light, high-pitched breath, moving his fingers to his breast.</p><p>Akechi’s body reacted faster than his mind, his hand moving to Okumura’s shoulder as he toppled over, releasing a small scream of pain.</p><p>“Okumura-san?!”</p><p>His breath turned to light wheezing, and now he was grabbing with both hands at his chest.</p><p>A heart attack? Cardiac arrest?</p><p>Still trying to steady Okumura with his hand, he looked around the room, finding the phone next to the canopy bed. But who was he supposed to call? If the paramedics arrived and took his information, they would know that Akechi was with him. And this would be the second case in a short period where Akechi would be linked to a strange incident regarding the health of someone, even though they had no evidence that he caused it. He didn’t do anything! But it might push them further, to investigate the places Akechi had been. Or was he just being paranoid? He didn’t do anything to Okumura, so there was no need to investigate him.</p><p>The wheezing next to him died down, the body growing heavy against his hand.</p><p>Fuck. He had to act now. He couldn’t call the receptionist; if she knew he went into the same room as Okumura and something happened, she would definitely call him suspicious. He had to call the paramedics directly. Saving Okumura’s life came first.</p><p>Or was it? This was the man who was willing to sacrifice his daughter. She would be subject to abhorrent cyberbullying if the information was revealed, and he was still saying he was going to let her go. He was willing to sacrifice the lives of thousands of workers everyday, an open secret in the industry.</p><p>But if Akechi let him die here — if they somehow figured out that he didn’t help him even though he was able to, he would definitely be guilty of failure to provide assistance.</p><p>He struggled to move with Okumura’s weight against him, shoved him to the side.</p><p>He fell over, his head hitting the edge of the sideboard, right next to the picture of Haru and Makoto kissing.</p><p>His head fell to the floor with a loud <em>thump</em>. The blood seeping out of his skull didn’t color the red carpet, only darkened it.</p><p>Akechi felt his own body freeze, his hands hanging in midair over the sunken body.</p><p>The only sound left was his own sharp breathing.</p><p>He tried to straighten his back, to simply turn around and walk away, his feet moved by an invisible hand, but he simply stumbled backwards, his gloved hands gliding over the carpet.</p><p>He felt his throat producing some sort of sound, unable to discern it.</p><p>He had to survive.</p><p>He had to —</p><p>Not here.</p><p>Not yet.</p><p>Not again.</p><p>NOT AGAIN.</p><p>The wooden door closed behind him.</p><p>It was loud and echoed painfully in his ears.</p><p>His tongue was caught between his teeth, the only sensation that felt right.</p><p>There was laughter rising on his side, the glass door to the rooftop bar sliding open. His body settled into a stride, muscle memory triumphing over shock.</p><p>The smile in his face started to hurt, caught in the cold hands of the night air.</p><p>“Sorry, is the current patron of the night sky suite here?”</p><p>A flash of green passed his vision — green like the chair —</p><p>“Why, do you wanna check it out with me?”</p><p>A hand touched his arm, and he flinched back, smiling wider with a loud “Sorry”.</p><p>“I simply heard a weird sound coming from the room.” His voice was nonchalant, filed to precision. “I’m worried there might be someone in need of help.”</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>“He had a heart attack.” “Did you see the leaks on how they treated the workers? It’s completely awful!” “Sure, but it’s still horrible that he died.” “Didn’t he have a heart attack because he saw what had been uploaded?” “Why would you get a heart attack because of this? Everyone knows Okumura Foods doesn’t give a shit about workers rights.” “But maybe he kept it secret from his daughter, she was angry at him and then … bam!”</p><p>The waiting room was loud with conversation Akechi was unable to turn away from. His fellow actors and crew were so carefree. Okumura was a much-hated public figure, so they dished out their theories and jokes like cheap cookies.</p><p>Only one sat beside him in silence, face hidden by his hands.</p><p>Neither when he tried to blackmail him nor when he died had Akechi thought of any negative repercussions this could have for Haru. Obviously she was nothing more than a pawn for him.</p><p>But she seemed to care enough that her distress was contagious, and now Ren was sitting next to him, the weight of the news set in his face like deep shadows.</p><p>Akechi raised his hand in a wild impulse to stroke Ren’s back in consolation, then the guilt returned like a crashing wave, curling his fingers and pulling them back, rendering him unable to play this part.</p><p>Okumura’s death was ruled as natural for now, but they still took him in for questioning at night, trying to reconstruct when Akechi had heard the scream. It helped that Akechi had put a remarkable amount of liquor into his system when he joined the rooftop guests, his slurring adding realistic confusion to the made-up story. He definitely preferred being asked directly after the incident than being escorted from set, making space for nosy questions and wrong assumptions to settle in the minds around him.</p><p>At the formal questioning at the station, they hadn’t asked anything about the pictures that had been on the sideboard, so they were working with the assumption that he didn’t see the body until the door was opened by the hotel staff for the paramedics. The media was filled with reports on the leaks that were put online last night, a full, extensive revelation of the various illegal business practices Okumura Foods participated in.</p><p>The public outcry would be short and the stocks would recover in no time.</p><p>Okumura was right. He wasn’t going to be blackmailed by stuff like this.</p><p>And no one would be able to try it anymore.</p><p>The call to Shido had been almost as bad as the walk to the rooftop bar. After getting berated for being an utter failure and unable to complete his mission, possibly even risking danger to the organization by — according to Shido — causing this death. However, he immediately changed plans, ordering the release of the documents they had compiled on Okumura Foods as well as the prepared statements criticizing the government for not taking care of all the rights violations.</p><p>That was the Shido way. A possible partner could turn into a hard-fought enemy in the blink of an eye.</p><p>The body next to him shifted, and Akechi looked towards Ren, waiting for their eyes to meet.</p><p>Ren tilted his head slightly, black locks falling lazily over his forehead. “You look tired,” he said with a crooked smile.</p><p>“It might be that this work started to take a toll on me too,” Akechi said, his body leaning slightly towards Ren. He knew it wasn’t going to happen, but he still wanted to fall into his arms, close his eyes and inhale his scent, and this was the closest he could get. “Or maybe I simply missed a step in my make-up routine.”</p><p>Ren, apparently in urgent need for another topic that wasn’t Okumura on set, asked him about why he was taken in by the police for questioning some days ago. Akechi replied that he wasn’t allowed to talk about it, which was true. The train conductor had committed suicide immediately after the incident, and since Akechi had spent the night before with him and his family, they were bringing him in as a judge of character, to tell them if he noticed anything after the wife and the daughter denied anything strange about him. But he was the outsider, the one who wasn’t clouded by love for this man; the one who could control the narrative they believed in. So he planted the seed that there was something off about him, something weird he couldn’t quite place his finger on.</p><p>He hadn’t gotten any sleep that night.</p><p>Ren opened his mouth to ask another question after Akechi had left him with the short-clipped truth, but Fumiko-san called out to them to come on set, the cameras rolling even when hearts stopped.</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>Today’s shooting ended a bit earlier than usual, but that didn’t mean Akechi got to go home early, go simmer in his thoughts and suffer, handle himself with a steady hand.</p><p>No, Yukari had simply put another acting lesson with Aragaki-san into his schedule.</p><p>Suffering with supervision. Great.</p><p>Akechi was sitting on the vinyl floor of the studio, eyes closed, repeating his lines.</p><p>“Why am I inferior to you? I was extremely particular about my life, my grades, my public image …”</p><p>He must’ve said his monologue for the scene about fifty times now. He would be hearing his own voice saying “Teammates?! Friends?! To hell with that!” until he died.</p><p>A slight tap on his shoulder.</p><p>“You can move around freely now. And if you want, open your eyes.”</p><p>With a groan Akechi got up, loosened his shoulder, and unclenched his neck. He slowly moved his feet forward, like he forgot how to move and slowly had to relearn the process.</p><p>“I didn’t say you could stop.”</p><p>“Teammates?! Friends?! To hell with that!”</p><p>That was probably the only time the lines sounded as angry as Aragaki-san wanted them to be. Hell, Akechi wanted them to sound like that as well. But he was unable to put his heart into it.</p><p>Aragaki-san said that when he was repeating them so many times, he would eventually lose the shackles the words gave him, let his body play with the emotions the flow of the monologue caused within him. But the steady recitation felt more like it was emptying Akechi’s mind.</p><p>Emptying it so the horror had space to seep in.</p><p>He mechanically laid the words over the image of Okumura dying in front of him, again and again.</p><p>Thoroughly scared for other faces to mix in.</p><p>Eventually, Aragaki-san called the exercise off, telling him they had run out of time. He was visibly frustrated, repeating what he had already told Akechi, scolding him to get to know himself or he wouldn’t be able to portray any character. Akechi was close to spitting in front of him, telling him that he had acted in many series and his performance was deemed perfectly fine, meanwhile he was just some third-rate actor that tried to make a living by cashing in money from frustrated students who had no guarantee to learn anything under his wings.</p><p>But instead he smiled politely, said “Yes” and “I will look into it”. With every suggestion, visions of death crept up in every space between his words.</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>It was pouring outside when he left the studio, the late summer humidity clinging onto him.</p><p>He was ready to turn to the left to get an umbrella at the konbini, but the drizzle was replaced by a steady pitter-patter sound over his head, Ren’s head hanging next to him.</p><p>“What’s the matter?” Akechi asked as they walked up to the station under Ren’s umbrella.</p><p>“I just wanted to spend time with you.”</p><p>Akechi hoped the surprise didn’t show on his face. This felt good.</p><p>Too good.</p><p>“I’m afraid I still have work today.”</p><p>“That’s alright.” Ren said. “I’ll just accompany you to the station then. Is it something for your agency?”</p><p>Now this was weird. When it came to work, Ren had always assumed it was his university job at Sae’s place.</p><p>“You’re interested in the Shido Co.? I could ask them to consider giving you an offer.” Akechi was ready to sabotage all their communication if they ever dared to approach Ren.</p><p>“Not in that way,” Ren said, and Akechi fell silent as they took the stairs down to the subway. There had been much more police presence around the station since the incident. “I just … I know this sounds ridiculous, but I was thinking they might be connected to what happened to Okumura.”</p><p>
  <em>What? Why? How?</em>
</p><p>Ren put away the umbrella, shaking his hair to remove the stray drops of wetness his locks caught. “It’s easy to miss with the amount of news reports this is getting, but … he died in a hotel after they had a get-together which apparently included politicians and other people working for Shido. I’m not saying they induced the heart attack or anything —”</p><p>“Yes, I’m sorry Ren, but this theory sounds ridiculous.” He let out a small laugh. “I hope you didn’t get involved with weird conspiracy theorists.”</p><p>“It’s just … Shido has profited from this.” The place where they had to separate and go through different ticket gates to go in their respective trains was coming up, but Ren stood to the side, and Akechi joined him, the urgent need to steer this into the right direction. “He profited from this, again.” Ren added, in a much lower voice than before.</p><p>Akechi kept the smile in his words. “Do you want to imply he’s involved in the train incident as well because he’s profited from it?”</p><p>Ren looked at him, a sharp curiosity rising into his eyes. “I haven’t said anything about the train incident?”</p><p>“Yes, but that’s what it comes down to if you connect dots that aren’t there,” Akechi said quickly, threatening to stumble over his words. He seemed to be made of careless mistakes today, and he felt his palms getting sweaty. “Shido is issuing so many statements and meddling with so many different issues, you might as well take a random number of incidents and see that he’s somehow got to be involved in at least half of them. It’s mere confirmation bias.”</p><p>“I know, but …” Ren was looking around, then moving a bit closer to Akechi, their shoulders touching, his voice low. “A few months ago, there had been an incident with a politician confessing his misdeeds even though he had no apparent reason to do so - it wasn’t as if the media was in on his case before or anything. And he was at an event hosted by the Shido Co. Agency the night before he issued his statement. And …” Ren took a sharp breath, looking to the floor, then back at Akechi again. “Sorry, that’s all.”</p><p>“It <em>does</em> sound suspicious,” Akechi admitted. Playing the ridicule game any longer just wouldn’t work. “Still, you can’t deny the possibility of there being innerparty conflicts that preceded his decision. The media coverage might be extensive, but there are things beyond its reach as well.” He looked at his phone, pretending to be startled by the time. “I have to go now, but I will tell you if I notice anything suspicious. I’ve worked for them for so long and got so accustomed to their M.O., so it will be good for me to take a fresh look at the agency as well.” He waved Ren goodbye. “So, thank you.”</p><p>The thrumming of his heart echoed in his ears, drowning out the conversations of the passengers passing through the ticket gate with him. His body was on sudden alert, his fingers dangerously close to shaking again, his Suica card failing to get him through at the first try. He really needed to find a day of rest soon, a day he could skip Kawasaki’s drug.</p><p>He moved through the stream of passengers quickly once he passed the gates, pressing forward with a clenched jaw, his fingers tight around his phone. Ren might’ve connected Shido to some of the incidents already, but it was nothing more than meaningless fantasies so far. And he hadn’t connected Akechi to any of that, no, he trusted him enough to share that information with him. So it hadn’t been a mistake to get this close to Ren, it might end up being beneficial after all. But if an unrelated student like Ren moved on to make connections like this, there might be people working in the background who had advanced much further than him, political figures who were doing their best to get a grasp on all the schemes Shido developed, collecting evidence to strike him down.</p><p>That wasn’t allowed to happen. He would be the one to burn Shido’s throne down, listening to his screams when the flames engulfed him, charring him into ashes.</p><p>Ren and whoever else was standing behind him were just another obstacle sent upon his path, another pawn destined to meet with destruction.</p><p>He let the train headed for his apartment pass through the station without him, walking to the opposite platform after sending a short message to the agency.</p><p>Akechi was the villain after all, and villains were always needed to be two steps ahead from the heroes.</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>“And that’s a wrap!”</p><p>Ren put the glass he had been raising to his lips for 20 takes in a row, pretending to drink soda, back on the table.</p><p>They had been shooting a scene where the Phantom Thieves met in their temporary hideout — the pizza restaurant owned by Joker’s uncle — and they were interrupted by Yukari and the continuity supervisor so many times that the simple talking scene turned into an absolute nightmare to shoot.</p><p>He now understood Masa’s reaction when he looked at the schedule today, his “Oh no. Please not food,” which was kinda funny in his usual serious tone.</p><p>Ann, sitting next to Ren at the restaurant table in her pink-haired Cherry outfit, stretched her arms out in front of her with a loud yawn. “Now I’m tired and want pizza.”</p><p>Masa stood up, handing the props woman a plate topped with fake pizza that was hard to reach for her. “I know a good place right around the corner. How about it? My treat.”</p><p>“Damn it, why today?” Risa complained. “I still gotta do an interview, but I really want to eat pizza with you guys.”</p><p>“I’m gonna have to pass too,” Ren said, listening to his joints crack with slight concern as he got up.</p><p>“It’s just Ann and me, then?” Masa asked, looking for the actors of Queen and Fox who had been sitting at a different table, but they were already on their way to their dressing rooms.</p><p>“Oh Masa, single for a week and already trying your chances?”</p><p>Masa looked at her with genuine surprise, then extended a hand to help Ann up. “No, I’m just going to have a good time with Ann.”</p><p>“I didn’t know you broke up with your boyfriend,” Ann said, and Ren realized he didn’t even know Masa had a boyfriend. The time he could’ve spent together with his fellow castmates, getting to know them a bit better outside of set, had been eaten up by trying to meet Akechi every time he had a short window of time to squeeze Ren into.</p><p>“It wasn’t meant to be.” Masa shrugged his shoulders. “You can’t have two partners working in entertainment and expecting it to last. Our egos are way too huge.”</p><p>Ren was astonished to hear something like that from Masa, the Masa who always seemed humble and polite, but maybe you really needed an extra helping of self-confidence and desire for recognition to survive in this industry.</p><p>Another thing that made Ren think his lead role as Joker was just a dream that’d go by in a flash, a kind of vacation rather than an immigration. That’s why he’d gotten all the perks of the tourists without the responsibilities of being a citizen yet.</p><p>Back in the dressing room, he exchanged messages with Makoto — he’d been extremely worried about Haru, but after her father died, she went MIA but for the information Makoto relayed to him. The death of Haru’s father must’ve taken a toll on her as well, a bitter cocktail made of mixed feelings. Ren remembered how scared she was of revealing their relationship to Kunikazu Okumura, always expecting the worst. She didn’t have to worry about that anymore, but the price shouldn’t have been that big to pay.</p><p>Feeling the distress in between the lines of their text conversation, Ren decided to call her on his way back, trying to give her comfort by his presence alone. There was no way of knowing if it was worth anything, but he was unable to stand still. She was thankful for the offer, but preferred to meet in person instead, so they decided to meet at Kasumigaseki station, grabbing an iced tea from a konbini.</p><p>Ren didn’t bother asking why she would want to meet up there, but now that he arrived in the quarter he’d barely been going to, strolling with Makoto through Hibiya park, he couldn’t help but question what brought her here.</p><p>“I’m going to meet my sister later.” Makoto said with a sigh. “She’s investigating the case with Haru’s dad.”</p><p>Makoto sounded so haggard beneath the way she was trying to keep her voice steady and clear, Ren had to fight the urge to hug her right then and there. Only when he let the feeling go, the reality of her words settled in.</p><p>“I thought it had been ruled a natural death?”</p><p>“It has.” Makoto took a sip from her jasmine tea, gaze unfocused for a second, then back at Ren. “But the circumstances of his death are unusual, so they ordered Sis to take a closer look.”</p><p>“Unusual?” Ren said, noticing how he sounded like he was prying. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to force you to talk about it.”</p><p>“It’s okay.” Makoto said, stopping to look at a duck that was approaching a man sitting on a nearby bench, free to do everything but put its desire into words. “They had assumed that Haru’s father had been shocked by the leaks that went online at midnight and went into cardiac arrest because of it. Of course he had a previous medical history, but these events seemed to be clearly linked.” She put her empty bottle of jasmine tea away, fidgeting with her empty hands. “But the autopsy has revealed that his estimated time of death is about half an hour to an hour before the documents went online.”</p><p>A line was carved between Makoto’s eyebrows, revealing a look he had seen many times before; a sign of rage and determination, but it was much deeper than those times she was complaining about injustice in the student council. “The news about his death must’ve travelled just as fast as the call to the emergency services. I don’t know how you can cause a cardiac arrest on purpose, or if it’s even possible, but it still …” She looked away for a second, putting her fingers to her eyes. “They don’t know how it feels, yet someone immediately heard that Haru’s father died and thought to themselves that they could use this to …”</p><p>She didn’t manage to finish her sentence. “I’m sorry. I guess Sis isn’t really investigating the death itself, but everything else … kind of …”</p><p>If Ren ached to see Makoto like this, he was afraid to know how it would be with Haru.</p><p>“Thanks for listening to me,” she said, and Ren just shook his head, feeling like this was the least he could do. “How are you feeling, anyway? I cannot imagine it being easy on set like this. Akechi must’ve been under the weather as well.”</p><p>“Akechi?”</p><p>“Didn’t you get to know each other during work? Sorry, maybe not that close.” Makoto waved her hand in front of her face, banishing the thought before continuing.</p><p>“Please keep this to yourself then.”</p><p>Ren felt the seed in his heart sprawling, sending tight snares on the way to his mind, cutting off his blood flow as Makoto told him.</p><p>Apparently Akechi had been the one to call attention to Okumura’s dead body.</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>Ren tried calling Akechi on his way to LeBlanc, but the connection stayed dead.</p><p>He was aghast about this new information, wondering why he hadn’t been able to recognize the shock or sadness in Akechi’s face he must’ve felt after being involved in an event like this. He wished he could have been a better friend.</p><p>But how should he have known? He was so preoccupied with trying to contact Haru and consoling Makoto that he didn’t even consider someone else in his vicinity could’ve been involved in any way. Even when he noticed that Okumura had died after attending an event organized by the Shido Co. he didn’t consider asking Akechi about whether he had attended the event himself, only looking for a helping hand regarding his own investigations.</p><p>That he probably wasn’t able to talk about it, not able to voice his shock about the experience openly, could also be the reason he had acted a bit off when Ren had presented his theory to him.</p><p>Still …</p><p>Ren had expected Akechi to share that information with him, especially since they were attending acting classes with Haru together. The information would have reached him sooner or later anyway.</p><p>He seriously wondered if Yukari knew about it as well. Originally they wanted to film the remaining engine room scenes this week, but they had rescheduled, explaining that the hall they had used for the engine room scenes was still rented to another project. But he could imagine Yukari learning of the news, maybe through some influential producer - or Akechi himself - and deciding that he needed to take a break.</p><p>Ren had to think back to the police that were escorting Akechi from the premises. But no, that had been before Okumura’s death. There was no way there was a connection.</p><p>But it seems like there was at least one member of the Shido Co. Agency that had his fair share with suspicious activities, whether he was involved himself or just a bystander.</p><p>As he was serving a curry dinner to one of his regulars at LeBlanc, his mind still going in spirals over what could be and what could’ve been, his phone buzzed, Akechi’s name on the display.</p><p>He asked Sojiro if he could go upstairs for a few minutes and was excused with a brisk ‘alright’. Some things never changed.</p><p>“Hello Ren. What’s the matter?” Akechi’s voice didn’t sound any different than usual, him saying his name still quickening his heart.</p><p>Ren was silent for a few seconds. The decision to call Akechi had been nothing but an instinct his body had driven him to act upon, but he didn’t think of what to say to him.</p><p>“Why didn’t you tell me about Okumura?” He blurted out.</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“They say you found his body.”</p><p>The phone was buzzing with static, then Ren heard a sigh, the sound of a door closing.</p><p>“Who told you?” His tone turned sharper, the icy sheet Ren had only experienced the top layer of rising up from the ocean.</p><p>“It doesn’t matter. I’m worried about you. If you want to come over …”</p><p>“I’m working right now.”</p><p>“For the agency?”</p><p>“For <em>myself</em>,” he replied, his tone low, a rising tension beneath it. “I’m doing a campaign for an animal hospital.”</p><p>Huh. Charity? Ren didn’t expect that.</p><p>“The cats keep scratching me, but it’s alright. If that was all you had to say, I’m hanging up.”</p><p>“No, Akechi, wait,” he said, struggling to deal with the harshness in Akechi’s voice. He hadn’t heard anything like that before. “We could go through some scenes when you come over, I’m sure I could use your help, and …”</p><p>No. Ren remembered. He had heard it when Akechi was playing Crow.</p><p>“And you want to return to the set too, right? To do the engine room scene.”</p><p>“What are you implying?”</p><p>“Look, you have a few days off, but that might not be enough to recover if you’ve seen something like —”</p><p>“<em>You know nothing about me.</em>”</p><p>And he remembered the hatred and envy targeted at Joker along with it.</p><p>The click of a tongue. “Frankly I feel insulted that you think my abilities are diminished by what is happening in my private life.”</p><p>“I don’t! I’m just worried about all that’s been happening, and of course it would have an impact on how you’re acting, it —”</p><p>“So you’ve lied to me.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You said my acting was impressive,” he said, venom coating every single of his words, “but it seems like that was nothing but means to an end for you.”</p><p>“No, that’s —”</p><p>Akechi laughed like a violin string snapping. “I’m sorry I cannot help you with your investigation on Shido! I’m only good for collecting corpses!”</p><p>“No, Akechi, wait, <em>Goro</em> —”</p><p>The disconnect tone was a steady, damaging rhythm, the only thing left that made sense.</p><p> </p><p>_______</p><p> </p><p>When Ren came back from the phone call, he had seriously felt like crying, but now that he was closing the shop, a calm settled into him again, the exhaustion of a long work day stripping him of his violent thoughts.</p><p>He cleaned a glass with a rag, over and over again until he could see his own face reflecting in it clearly, a tired young boy caught up in something greater than himself.</p><p>Despite everything, he was still enjoying it.</p><p>Despite everything, he still wanted to move on, explore. Reconcile.</p><p>But for now it was just him, the night, and the radio playing its 1 am jazz program, plus the squeaking of the glass beneath his fingers.</p><p>He almost jumped when the door opened.</p><p>Akechi closed the door behind himself and just stood in front of it, arms crossed.</p><p>The silence was weighing heavier with every second that passed, yet Ren couldn't seem to grasp the right words, the musings he’d taken hours for falling apart in front of his feet, rising into the stale, caffeinated air.</p><p>He had called Akechi because he didn't think anyone should be alone for long after seeing someone die, but wasn't it even a tad excessive of him to expect Akechi to come to him?</p><p>Maybe Akechi had been right. He’d always only been a means to Ren’s ends, to his desires.</p><p>He somehow felt sure Akechi didn't have many other contacts, but maybe he just would have needed more time for himself.</p><p>Here Ren was, claiming his time, and he actually showed up to answer his demands.</p><p>Because Ren couldn’t let go.</p><p>But everyone dealt with shock in their own way and —</p><p>“You're wasting my time,” Akechi said and turned around, but Ren called out to him.</p><p>“Wait!” He dashed over to the door. “I don't want to be alone right now.”</p><p>It was what he wanted Akechi to say. But he saw now that it might not have been the worst idea to say it first - after all, Haru was Ren’s close friend, and he had been in shock when he heard the news of her father’s death.</p><p>Akechi’s gaze moved right past him. “Okay,” he said, the word falling out of his mouth like a cold stone. Maybe not a good idea after all.</p><p>They moved up to the attic and Ren sat down on the couch while Akechi inspected his belongings. His fingers wandered along a shelf upon which he had placed some merchandise that Futaba had given him or they had scored together. He stopped at the Featherman Red figure for a brief moment, then turned back to Ren.</p><p>“I thought it would be good for you to see someone actually living in an attic”, Ren said.</p><p>“I can do my research by myself,” Akechi insisted, but he was still looking around the room.</p><p>“You can play with anything you want, you know,” Ren said as he saw Akechi eyeing the figure again.</p><p>“It’s incredible how far you’ve come along by playing such a fool,” Akechi said, “this figure is way too valuable to be played with.”</p><p>“If you're in financial trouble, I know a good pawn shop you can lend it to.”</p><p>Akechi sighed and Ren was at loss again. He had liked to exchange little quips with Akechi, but it had been far easier when he had worn something more akin to the princely side of Robin and his cold demeanour only showed through the cracks. Now it was hard for him not to see another armour that protected his soul from showing any signs of vulnerability, yet Ren knew he needed Akechi around him to quench his thirst.</p><p>“I think Aragaki-san was right.” Ren said softly, testing the waters.</p><p>“I don’t know why you suggest I listen to him,” Akechi said, still staring at the Featherman figure. “He is an acting teacher especially because he never made it big as an actor.”</p><p>“I don’t know about that. But it still rings true that you can only act truthfully if you know yourself.” Ren had a hard enough time facing himself, but he knew that every time he took the courage to push through the questions and insecurities he had, he arrived at a version of his act he had been actually happy with.</p><p>“I know myself,” Akechi said and turned around to face him. “Do you?”</p><p>There was a playful edge to his words, an invitation, a challenge.</p><p>Something Ren knew he could work with.</p><p>Akechi slowly walked up to him, the floorboards creaking with every step he took.</p><p>“I’m just worried about you,” Ren admitted, and he felt heat rising in his chest, “You’re clearly distressed with these lines, and if you cannot say them in the engine-room scene …”</p><p>“You’re still hung up on that.” Akechi batted his eyes. “Then what, Ren?”</p><p>The air was growing thicker, as if fire was stealing away the space to breathe.</p><p>“It's not about what happens to the series then,” Ren said, “it’s about what happens to you. If you cannot say these lines, there’s something blocking you, as if you want to protect yourse—”</p><p>“<em>You're just some criminal trash living in an attic.</em>” Ren`s head knocked against the back of the wall, hands pressing against his windpipe, Akechi’s breath hot against his face, the weight of his knee against his abdomen.</p><p>“See? There, I said it.” Akechi’s eyes were glassy, his voice laced with glee. “I don't have any problems.”</p><p>Ren could only manage a groan, trying to pull Akechi’s hands away with his own.</p><p>Akechi moved his lips to his ear. “You're the one who cannot say anything,” he murmured, a low rumble that almost drowned in the sounds of Ren’s blood rushing through his veins, “you cannot say anything because you cannot reveal who you are. You need to stay silent so people fill your silence with what they want to hear and you get away with it.”</p><p>It hurt. It hurt because Ren held on to that belief for a long time. But he knew where the hurt was coming from and how to overcome it.</p><p>He had to get out of this situation, attack it from another angle. “You’re …” He managed to say with ragged breath.</p><p>“I am <em>what</em>?” Akechi moved his hands from Ren’s neck to the sides of his face, through his hair, nails grazing over his scalp. His body involuntarily moved with the shiver running through his spine. “Say it.”</p><p>“You're impressive,” Ren said, and he hated how light his voice sounded, still coming up for air. He had to pack a punch with his next words, even though he felt like he was ready to drown, his body growing hot underneath Akechi’s. He flashed a smile, knowing it was the knife that would cut to the truth. “But you aren’t acting.”</p><p>Ren felt Akechi’s breath falter just an instant before he pushed forward, “So what you’re saying is ...” Akechi pressed his thumbs into the skin right under Ren’s eyes. “It’s not an act. Because you are, in fact, trash.”</p><p>Ren had to admit part of the heavy thumping in his chest was because of fear. He did not know what was happening, or how he was supposed to handle the boy on top of him, the sheer violence that seemed to wait for a moment to strike like a wrathful god at the bottom of the sea.</p><p>He moved his own hands against Akechi’s back, felt the breath hitch in his throat at the touch.</p><p>“Can I kiss you?” he asked.</p><p>Akechi seemed frozen in time for a second, and the moments when it felt like Akechi turned to stone came crashing into his head - when Ren turned off Shido’s TV interview, when Aragaki-san had asked him to recall a happy memory, when Haru had touched Akechi’s arm. He wondered if it came from a place of being overwhelmed by kindness, by fear, or both.</p><p>And then Akechi moved again, his body vibrating against Ren’s with a short, heartened laughter.</p><p>“You're pathetic,” he said, then pressed his lips against Ren’s, fingers running through his hair as if guided by greed. Ren tried to move his limbs as well, but the sensation was overwhelming, Akechi’s weight pinning him down, his fierce movements draining the energy out of him.</p><p>He had to push his hands against Akechi’s chest to put distance in between them, just to come up for air, just a second —</p><p>“Again,” Akechi demanded and they crashed into each other again when Ren nodded, the things left unsaid moving through them in moans, in curses, half-lidded eyes and skin claimed with kisses.</p><p>Ren tried to move his feet, move his head toward the bed, but as soon as his eyes left Akechi’s, a hand was on his chin again, pulling him towards the wine-red eyes.</p><p>He was growing painfully hard under him, and he almost sighed with relief as Akechi moved his hands into his pants.</p><p>“Do you like that?” he asked, and Ren desperately clawed at the buttons of Akechi’s shirt, trying to get them to open up, unable to coordinate his movements. Ren nodded and abandoned the shirt, grabbed onto his ass instead and was rewarded with a soft moan, Akechi’s eyes closing for just a second.</p><p>Ren felt light again, cold, lost. The heated body that had been molded against him was standing up in the middle of his room, discarding his clothing, moving towards the bed, running a hand under the ghostly white mattress. Ren followed Akechi and grabbed his lube from the shelf next to the bed. He opened his mouth to tease Akechi about his detective skills, but before he could say anything he was pushed onto the bed, fingers pulling at his waistband.</p><p>“Akechi, wait—”</p><p>“Do you want to fuck me or not?”</p><p>“I want to, but—”</p><p>“Then fucking act like it.” Akechi had his hand on his chin again, forehead pressed against his own.</p><p>Ren’s thought circled back to the laugh, the <em>you’re pathetic</em>, the second in stone. “But do <em>you</em> want this?”</p><p>The light of the moon was caught in Akechi’s eyes, a comet preparing for its fall. Ren put his lips to Akechi’s, searching for something to hold onto, inviting the light to stay.</p><p>When they pulled apart again, Ren ran his hands along Akechi’s sides, and was rewarded with a soft sigh. His own dick was twitching with need, but he tried to keep his focus. He was sick of Akechi trying to retake control, replacing the princely mask with the hardened one, controlled movements and knowing what’s best for everyone, knowing what’s best for a world that is about to be destroyed by everyone.</p><p>He imagined looking into Akechi’s mind and finding jewels among the shards. Shards sharpened to jewels. Jewels that wouldn’t cut into Akechi’s skin, but little gems that caught the lines and kept it. He wanted to hear him wailing again, writhing and raw.</p><p>Ren entered Akechi and found his lips again, teeth and tongue sinking deep. He felt good around him, leaving little room to breathe, little room to make sense of it all, yet it was the way things were supposed to fall into place, his mind blacking out in the flurry of sensations. He couldn't stop himself, turned on by Akechi’s incoherent mumbles against his ear, hair tickling his collarbone.</p><p>Akechi struggled against him, fingers holding onto whatever was closest, only to be shaken off by another thrust that disarranged his senses, another thrust that drowned them in their orchestra of desire. They shared their instruments of lust, Ren’s finger against a nipple, Akechi’s teeth against his shoulder, a groan that almost pulled him over the edge, but instead introduced a moment of stillness so Ren could find another place to kiss, another angle to make Akechi cry out his name. These were the sweetest moments, when Akechi’s voice got through to him, guttural sounds and high-pitched breaths, his name dripping from his lips like honey, slick with desire and the need for more.</p><p>They were pulling into each other, a relentless current, the infuriating barrier of skin between them, a barrier only in concept, another concept they tried to challenge. As Ren came close, he wanted to pull away, but Akechi arched his body into him, denying the distance Ren worked between them.</p><p>“I need you … I …” Akechi’s lips touched his ear lobe. “I need you to come inside of me.”</p><p>He put his arms around Akechi again, pulled him close as he released himself inside of him, a bliss so pure it might as well be a hot, hazy delusion, a fickle tilt in a dream. Ren rolled over, chest heaving to cool down his strained heart, fingers searching for Akechi to make him come, trying to bind him to himself with another shackle of a memory.</p><p>But Akechi slapped his hand away, biting into his own as he quickly finished himself off. Only as the tissues were moving through their hands Ren realized how detached that moment felt, a cold splash onto his face. He wondered how fake the honey he indulged him was. If it had been a game of control right up to the end.</p><p>He couldn’t bring himself to ask anything, his limbs heavy and hurting from the act, the sheets rustling softly as Akechi laid down next to him. Akechi laid on his back, staring at the ceiling. Ren couldn’t help but run his hand over his hair.</p><p>“Thank you. You are … impressive.” Ren failed to produce new words, the questions he never asked filling the space Akechi had left in him.</p><p>“You were right.” Akechi turned away from him, but his words were still falling onto Ren clear and crisp as fresh snow.</p><p>“I wasn’t acting.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Check out <a href="https://twitter.com/reytrl/status/1353511654789586945">Rey's art</a> for the NSFW action! ( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ) WE ARE LOOKING RESPECTFULLY! Pls leave some love for Rey if you've enjoyed it &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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